Just got my degree and shot some aliens

The two events in the title are unrelated.

I'm wondering, would it be a bad idea to list this as my personal website in a professional portfolio? I have a feeling some potential employers wouldn't appreciate some of the things contained here.

Oh, before I forget, I might as well announce it here: I (semi)officially completed my studies at SUNY Institute of Technology this past May. I received an A on my thesis/capstone project, and unless something awful arises in the office, I will be getting my diploma in the mail sometime in July. I have earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Computer and Information Science, which is easily the most respectable-sounding piece of paper I've ever owned.

So, the job search has commenced. I'm signed up online for various job hunting services and trying to keep an eye out for great opportunities. Naturally, my mom still highlights stuff she's seen in the newspaper and leaves them for me to find, because that's how her generation does things. She's very hopeful and proud of me. Apparently I'm the first person in our family to get a BS. My mom only has an Associate's, and my dad didn't go to college. Makes me wonder sometimes how they managed to have a combined gross annual income over $100,000. It always sounds like a lot to me, but you know, taxes and all drain that quickly.

Also, I have a feeling my productivity in job hunting will be slightly hurt by the fact that I've just started Mass Effect 2 (and have purchased the third installment). I'm pretty hooked to this thing so far. I don't play video games like that daily, but once the game console is turned on, I have a difficult time turning it off. Anyway, a lot of Mass Effect jokes suddenly make sense to me, and I've decided that if Garrus and Kasumi Goto were able to conceive a child, it would be the most phenomenally amazing, charming, and lethal bad-ass in the history of fiction. Or maybe it'd grow up to be an accountant. There's no telling with kids.

Also again, I'm typing this at 4am. I started living in the daylight like a normal person for a while there, but apparently my circadian just has no rhythm, because here I am in the wee hours again. I might pull and all-nighter and try to reset my internal clock again. Hell, it worked once this year.

That's all for now. Peace and love, readers. Speak softly, but carry a big Arc Projector.

Just realized something

I never updated this thing about some important things that happened this summer.

For one, the fact that I got a job is kind of a big deal. It's like an internship thing, and it's temporary though I don't know how temporary. The pay is good but on a 2-week delay roughly. Also there is the minor problem of having to work 9am to 5pm every weekday. It's pretty hard on me, being a career insomniac, and spending that much time around so many people hasn't been totally easy either. I'm exhausted in every sense of the word.

Still, it's nice to have money, or it will be when my check comes on the 31st or so. Still on schedule to return to SUNYIT part-time on August 30th though, so will have to work things out with the job by then. Not sure if I'm going to be let go by then or not.

Also, I've been trying to have some kind of long-distance relationship with somebody I met online. It hasn't been easy. Aside from the distance, we seem to have problems communicating and getting along sometimes. I'm hoping we'll be able to work it out though. She means a lot to me, and I'd hate to see things end abruptly on a sour note. Naturally, I fear that could happen on pretty much any given day. I'll keep trying, but I guess only time will tell if we are really right for one another. Here's hoping love can find a way.

That's about it right now. Guess I'll check in next month, unless I suddenly feel inspired to write more. Signing off.

Re: Popularity

I'm wondering now what's better, to have millions of people think you're kind of cool, or to have a few select people think you're the coolest person ever. My knee-jerk reaction is to say the latter, but then having an exclusive fan club doesn't exactly translate to book sales, does it?

Anyway, I'm in an odd mood right now, so I thought I'd share. I'm realizing lately that, when communicating with people through means other than face-to-face conversation, I'm actually pretty fun to talk to. This is really no big surprise. I mean, even years ago I remember Jordan saying how I sound so much different on my blog than in person. (Incidentally, I wonder if he's still reading this...) I guess it just struck me recently how true this is for digital media in general.

I'm not going to go into specifics, but through no serious effort of my own, I seem to have become well liked by a handful of people I've never actually met. Which is cool in its own way, but I'm starting to wonder if maybe it should stay that way. Our having never met, I mean. I have this sinking feeling that if I were to meet any of these people in person, I would find a way to undo any positive image they had of me. It's funny, that by being myself online I am easily likable, but in real life I just don't have that capacity. I don't know why. I'd blame the depression, but that seems too easy. (I of course type this as I'm popping my second Prozac for the day)

So, here's the thing: again, I won't go into specifics, but someone I met online and I have been talking about meeting up at some point. I originally really liked the idea, but the more I think about it, the more I worry that whatever weird funk I have hanging over my head will overshadow any and all of my positive qualities. I'd hate to lose a friendship, but I feel like that's what is likely to happen if we meet. To meet me in person is essentially to see the worst side of me. Or one of the worst sides, anyway.

The bottom line is, I'm freer online to express myself, to show my best side. In real life, that side can be hard to see, especially when I'm still struggling with this whole depression thing. It's not really something I want to accept, even if it inevitably a part of me that will never go away completely. I don't really know what else to say about this, except that, if anyone is reading this, I hope you can recognize there is more to me than what I appear to be in person. A lot more. I think if we got to know each other well you'd see the better side of me more often, but that takes time, and somehow I don't think everyone wants to wait that long.

Whatever. I'm rambling now, so I'll sign off for tonight. One last unrelated thing I'll mention: ITPI is having a pre-Halloween party thing on Oct. 24th, so if you're in Utica, come join us in the Adirondack Lounge around 8pm. People who spend any time on campus before then will probably see some posters soon. I actually put a little effort into this one, so I'm going to try to get as many printed as I can manage. There'll be scary movies and candy. I'm getting a ouiji board, because hell, why not? It should be a good time.

I guess that's it. I'll post again whenever the mood strikes me. In the meantime, peace and love, y'all.

CS: Hungary vs. Norway

So, this Z-day event my club was putting on happened today. It was supposed to just be a game of zombies vs. humans, but since everyone wanted to use a gun, we ended up doing a few rounds with all humans. Of course, we needed to come up with something for the H's and Z's on our tags to stand for. So, the H's became Hungary, and the Z's turned on their side to make an N became Norway.

Yes, Hungary vs. Norway. Least likely war, and best scenario ever for a new squad-based shooter.

Re: I'm not dead yet

Just letting you know. I've been pretty sick lately, and on top of that I've been busy with club stuff and school. The weather officially sucks again, so I guess I'll continue being inactive even after I'm over whatever stomach bug I've got.

Anyway, if anybody from Marist is reading this, I miss you guys. We really have to figure out a time to meet and hang out sometime. Maybe in the spring before the new semester starts. I don't have the energy to think about driving anywhere now, but we'll see what happens.

PI club, Club /b/, and more MadWorld

So, I have another blog now:

http://sunyitpi.blogspot.com/

Not a lot going on there yet, but we'll see if anything comes of it.

Also, I joined the on-campus club that was formerly just about getting free pizza, but is now about maintaining the campus imageboard, SUNYIT-chan. Tonight's meeting had all of 4 people including the president. Still, I sense good things about this one. I'll post a link to the board (in case anyone cares) sometime after we get the domain name decided on.



And I'm still playing MadWorld, even though I probably shouldn't. The game takes 5 hours max to beat, and my save file is on hour 12 or so. Of course that's not counting the time I waste thinking about how the hell to beat the challenges, which aren't required to beat the game but I started doing anyway because I'm obsessive like that. Of course, the last couple challenges are eluding my conquering nature, and it's getting maddening. I usually wouldn't worry so much about it, but for some reason I feel like I'm going to lose my mind if don't beat every single challenge. Maybe I'm still going through Mafia Wars withdrawals...

Alright, I guess that's all for now. Later, all.

So, I'm the leader of a school club

How the hell did that happen? :/

Re: Email from Ronald Sarner

This day just keeps getting better and better...

"...We have several personnel changes in the department.

Professor Rosemary Mullick returns to full-time teaching after a four-year stint as Interim Vice President for Academic Affairs. We welcome her back, and are pleased that she has agreed to develop a new course in Computer-Human Interaction for this semester.

Professor Geethapriya Thamilarasu joins us as an assistant professor, having just completed a Ph.D. in Computer Science and Engineering at SUNY-Buffalo. She previously interned at Deutsche Telekom Laboratories in Berlin, developing an intrusion detection system for wireless sensor networks. Her particular area of interest is wireless network security, and she will be developing a wireless sensor lab and using it for courses in both computer science and in telecommunications. For the fall semester she will be teaching both disciplines and her computer science course will be Software Engineering.

Professor Henry Wu also joins us as an assistant professor coming from the CIS department at Cal State Polytech in Pomona, California. He has more than a decade of experience as a telecommunications engineer and holds a Ph.D. in Electrical Engineering from Oklahoma State. His teaching assignments this semester will be in telecommunications.

Professor Michael deMare has left SUNYIT and we extend our best wishes to him in his future endeavors....,"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!



Oh, god. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I mean, come on, this is DeMare we're talking about! I told everyone in the class that I would get him fired if it was the last thing I ever do. How can I not gloat? :D

Movin' On Up

I just moved my stuff into my suite today. It's pretty cool by college housing standards. I have pretty much the best desk ever conceived. Photos will follow once I've finished breaking it in.

My roommates seem okay. I haven't met one of them yet, but I doubt he could possibly offset Justin's coolness. Dude looks like me back when I had long hair. Only better looking. And he's got a girlfriend. And he's not a CS student. So, basically, he looks kind of like me, but is cooler in every possible way.

Anyway, the only real downer so far is I'll be in a lofted bed for the first time since freshmen year. It's no big deal, but on warm nights, the top bunk can get pretty hot. Warm air rises, you know.

So, that's about all for now. More relevant information will follow when I feel like it.

My Inbox

I usually don't check my email every single day, simply because I don't get that much. Plus, I rarely receive anything especially time-sensitive. But this... is just downright depressing.

Anyway, I haven't been online much this week. I've been working every day since Wednesday, and I'm a little run down. I had actually been planning to make a special video blog entry, but now I'm not sure if that's going to materialize or not. Only time will tell, I guess.

Some good news, though. It's offical: I got accepted to SUNYIT after all, so it looks like I'm off to school again in the fall. I'm not 100% sure it's the right program for me, but come on. These residence halls kick ass!