Looking For A Little Help

(Or: Noticing A Pattern...)

Pardon me, sir or ma'am. I don't mean to be a bother. I wonder if you could find it in your heart to help me out. I just need a few minutes of your time while I tell you this story. Won't you help me?

Oh, you will? Thank you so much. God bless. I promise this won't be too long.

On Mental Illness

A topic I am overqualified to discuss. I'll just let you know, I've increased my medication recently. There haven't been any very obvious effects yet. I'll keep you posted.

Anyway, I was just thinking, why do people always think I'm crazy just because I talk to myself? That's just wrong. I mean, I am crazy, but that's besides the point. Talking to yourself doesn't make you crazy. It just means you like to hear what you're thinking out loud. Scientists do it all the time.

So, to clear up the confusion, here's a simple reminder. The next time you see someone talking alone, consult this list.
If they are...

• talking to themselves,

--- They are not crazy. In fact, they're probably smarter than you.


• talking to someone who isn't there,

--- They're crazy, but probably not dangerous.


• talking to an animal,

--- See above.


• talking to someone inside their own head, and that person is talking back,

--- Run. Fast.