You Neglected To Mention The Sleeper Sofa

If anyone was wondering where I've been all weekend, I was helping my aunt move. My dad was planning to take the truck to help her, and he was originally going alone. I would've simply spent my Saturday sleeping in. But, of course, my mom would have none of that. So, she managed to talk me into going along to help out.

I'm not sure why I thought it would be a good idea. For one, we had to get started around 8 in the morning. Usually, an earthquake couldn't wake me up at that hour. I'm not sure how I managed to get up that early and work for the next six and a half hours, but I made up for it with about 12 hours of sleep that night.

Secondly, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I have the physique of an anorexic cheerleader. Heavy lifting is not my forte, you know? So, aside from carrying the lighter boxes and the mattress down the stairs, I really wasn't all that useful. I did help my aunt hook up her new dvd player, though, so I guess it wasn't a total waste.

Also, it seems we weren't the only ones helping someone move into a new apartment that day. There was a whole other family there, and unlike us, they had a U-haul. It made the elevators a little more than busy that day, so we were bumping into each other quite a bit. It was an interesting experience though.

Here's something I learned: When my dad and my uncle try (and fail) to get onto an elevator with a couch, it's tiring, sad and irritating. When three asian guys do it (and succeed), it's wildly entertaining.

Once all was done, I went home and zoned out for a while. I tried to watch Unforgiven on tv that night, but I fell asleep before the end. Well, maybe next time.

Web of Madness

You know, a neighborhood like this one looks pretty innocent on a map. But trying driving through it at midnight, and it quickly becomes an inescapable death trap. This area, located roughly a mile and change South-East of my house, is what I refer to as the Web of Madness.



A friend of my sister's lives in there, and I ended up driving him home last night. Being the idiot that I am, I didn't pay close enough attention on the way in, so on my way out I got pretty badly lost. I swear, this is no regular neighborhood. Roads snake around in circles and double back on each other. There are like 5 roads with the same names. For a place that appears to go in circles, there are an awful lot of dead ends. I swear, I think some of them move around like the staircases in Harry Potter.

Anyway, it only took me about 10 minutes of driving in circles to find my way out again. Not bad, considering I'd never been there before and didn't have a map or anybody to give me directions. I'm thinking I might go look back at it again if I get bored. If I can learn how to navigate around this place by mental map alone, then driving in Schenectady should be simple.

Slow Down Before You Hurt Yourself

I've been kind of busy lately. Since I'm a new employee with the Meals on Wheels thing, I had to fill out this mountain of paperwork for tax purposes. I finally turned that all in yesterday, but I'm still not finished. I also have to get a PPD test and bring back the results within two weeks. There's two more appointments for next week. It's an inconvenience, but at least it'll be good to know I don't have tuberculosis.

Since the program is run by the Catholic Diocese of Schenectady, I also need to go to a mandatory Virtus training presentation. This kind of crap always happens, doesn't it? Thanks to a few priests who couldn't keep their hands off of young boys, now everyone even loosely affiliated with the Catholic church has to go to a mandatory pedophelia awareness seminar. Same reason car windows don't go all the way down in the back seat, and McDonald's has to put a little "Warning: This is Hot" message on their apple pies, which more often than not are just lukewarm. A few bad eggs, and the whole damn hen house has to submit to a cavity search.

Anyway, I finally heard back from SUNYIT, and I set up an interview for early next week. They want to see my high school transcript, so I had to call over to BHBL high. I'm going to pick it up tomorrow, which I guess will have to happen after my doctor's appointment but before my haircut. Like I said, I've been kind of busy lately.

Gay Guys Find Me Sexy

Just throwin' it out there.

For those not in the know, I don't swing that way. I likes me the ladies. But, I'm very open-minded and accepting of my fellow man. Plus, it's a nice little ego boost to know somebody wants to see me naked, even if it is a dude. Besides, if he's reading this right now, I'm pretty sure Schunk is laughing so hard that Mountain Dew is spewing out of his nose.

And now, for anyone who was wondering exactly how I gleaned the above knowledge, I'll just say the following: I am unequivocally 100% straight (which is pretty impressive considering I don't know what unequivocally means). But as many of my friends know, I can be talked into just about anything. And what happens on Human Pets stays on Human Pets.

Okay, that's enough of that. Good-night, everybody.

George Carlin Is God

I don't have much to say today, which is probably just as well, since this story easily overshadows anything I would've had to say anyway.

For those of you who haven't heard yet, on Sunday night, legendary comedian George Carlin died of heart failure at the age of 71. I know it sounds silly, but this kind of came as a shock to me. I always kind of figured Carlin was one of those guys who was going to live forever. He wasn't my idol or anything, but I was a fan of his work, and I'm sad to see him go.

Of course, a man of George Carlin's stature deserves a better send-off than I can give. I think the Associated Press did a nice obituary.

Now, for anyone unfamiliar with his work, here are a few clips so you can get a sense of what you missed.





Rest in Peace
George Denis Patrick Carlin
1937-2008

Maintaining the Streak

I've been posting a lot more than usual this week. May as well try to keep it going, right? Who knows, maybe if I update regularly enough, people will actually read this crap.

And now for something completely different.

Speedy Dan is Loose

I found this whole 'spicy side' thing rather amusing, so I went and got one of my own. Ain't he a loveable little scamp?

And That's When It Started Raining...

Started my first day on the job today. Things went about as badly as they possibly could, considering what an easy job this was supposed to be.

To start with, I've got some kind of stomach bug today. I muscled through it to get to work, but ended up there almost a half hour late because I was confined to the bathroom for a while beforehand. Once I finally got on the road, the deliveries were going pretty smoothly. One building was kind of hard to find, but otherwise it was smooth sailing for a good 45 minutes.

Then my car broke down. Apparently, I should have left the engine running in the driveway, because the two hot boxes plugged into cigarette lighter was just too much for the battery. So, I had to call for help. Jen at the office was very understanding. She said she'd be sending someone over to finish the route, so I just had to worry about my car.

While I waited for the cavalry to arrive, I got some help from Mr. Russel and his daughter. After the three of us struggled for ten minutes with the seemingly simple task of opening the hood of my car, they gave me a jump, and I was able to get it started again. But I still had to stick around until someone came to pick up the route where I'd left off.

And that's when it started raining. The woman who had trained me yesterday showed up to save my sorry hide. She took the remaining stuff off my hands and left me with the reassuring knowledge that I definitely wasn't fired yet.

So, with the job at hand taken care of, all I had to do then was navigate my way home through downtown Schenectady in pouring rain. Yeah, that was about as fun as it sounds.

Finally, after about four wrong turns, 2 large potholes, 3 near-miss fender-benders, and a road closed for construction, I managed to get home. Obviously, I wouldn't be writing this now if I hadn't. Anyway, all I can say is that I hope next week on the job goes better. That should be easy. After all, it's pretty much an easy job, I now know the routes a little better, and I know to leave the car running while I run inside. Unless a meteor falls out of the sky and flattens my ride, I'm pretty sure next week can only be better.

Killer7 Video

As promised, and way ahead of schedule. I find that movie-making goes a lot faster when you have all the footage already. That, and when you don't actually make the video for the entire song. Anyway, here it is: (If any of you haven't played the game but now plan to, don't worry. There's no spoilers)

Mixed Bag

I started my new job today. As usual, I was right. It's pretty much a cakewalk. I've got the route all written out in case I forget anything, and everyone's very friendly. Short of an old lady falling and breaking her hip, there's not much that can go wrong.

Wednesday was rough, though. It was one of those Murphy's Law days. I was supposed to go to a doctor's appointment in the afternoon, but I couldn't go. I didn't understand how or why, but my car's battery turned up dead. Apparently, my mom went to close the windows last night and accidentally left the door ajar. Thus, the interior light never turned off all night, and the battery was totally drained.

So, anyway, since my car was shot, I was going to borrow the truck. Trouble is, the keys weren't in it. My dad had the keys, and he was at work at the time. There's apparently a spare set of keys in the house somewhere, but no one knows where. Mighty handy, huh?

So, I then had to call Dr. E to let her know I wouldn't be there in time. Except I couldn't. First, I called the wrong number a couple times by accident because apparently her secretary uses a different extension or something. Then, once I realized the problem and called the right number, I couldn't get through because it was busy. Then when I tried again, I was apparently being attacked by a ghost or something, because a dead zone appeared out of nowhere right over my room, and I couldn't get so much as one bar. Then, when the dead zone lifted, no one was answering. It was almost six o'clock that night when I finally got ahold of her secretary to reschedule the appointment.

God, I'm exhausted just thinking about that day again.

Anyway, on the videogame front, I'm taking a break from Rogue Galaxy. I got the sudden urge to go back and finish hard mode in Killer7, so I'm doing just that. Killer7 is just one of those rare games that has a lasting impression on you, you know? I also got a cool idea for a music video, which I'm working on now.

That'll be posted whenever I finish. Until then, peace my homies.

Male Unbonding

I ran into an old friend from high school today. We haven't spoken in like three years, so it was a bit awkward. As I guessed would be the case, we're kind of in different cliques these days. He likes working with horses at the barn; I pretty much hate barns in general. He's got a 360; I've got a Wii. He's getting Rock Band; I've been playing Cooking Mama: Cook-off. He's majoring in networking; I'm majoring in Computer Science. It was like an awkward conversation between a Jet and a Shark.

Yes, I just made a West Side Story reference.

Well, the good news is, it looks like the Meals-on-Wheels job is a go. I start next Thursday. It'll be nice to have some decent income again. Still no word from SUNYIT yet, though. I'm itching with anticipation. Or maybe it's mosquito bites. I can never tell these days.

These Are My Shoes

Be honest. They're hot, right?

Anyway, on the job front, I may have a hot new possibility. This Home Delivered Meals Program is in need of new drivers, so I'm applying there. If this works out, it'll be a pretty sweet gig, at least for a lazy guy like me. I'd just be delivering food to old people on weekends. 2 days a week, 3 hours a day. Pay is $8.50 an hour plus $0.40 per mile driven. Basically, it's the least demanding part-time job ever conceived, and at the same time, better paying than anything I've ever done.

Gaming-wise, I picked up Rogue Galaxy again. I believe I talked about the merits of this game a while ago. I had gotten stuck on a particularly vicious boss battle (one on one fight, Deego vs. Gale), and decided to take a break, but now I'm back at it. I beat the boss and have moved on in the story. I also discovered yet another merit this game has: bug collecting. It's a little optional sidequest that is basically a simplified version of Pokemon. I haven't tried the fights yet, but I will soon enough.

One last thing: Blogger Choice Awards are coming up. I probably have no chance in hell of winning anything, but a guy can dream, right? And anyway, there's always next year.

"Honest" Mechanics

Got my car back. It's running like new. My only complaint is that the gas tank was on E when I got the thing back. It was full when I dropped it off last week. Now, I understand that they have to leave the thing running a while, but twelve gallons of gas don't just burn themselves, you know. Screwy, ain't it? I'd investigate the matter further, but I just don't care that much.

I'm thinking about taking a summer writing workshop at SUNY Albany. Still no word back from SUNYIT, but I'll call them if I don't hear back soon. I really want this to work out. Aside from the fact that it's a great place, it's my only shot at getting student loan collection ninjas off my back.

Not a lot else going on today. Peace, my brothers.

~~~

UPDATE: Turns out the summer course is like $1100 for two weeks, and that's for no college credit. To get credit, you have to do the whole four weeks at $2300. Screw that.

Demons of Fleet Street

This past weekend, I finally got around to seeing Sweeney Todd. I first heard about this thing way back at the end of '07, but being the reclusive shut-in that I am, I didn't get out to the theater to see it. Anyway, I ended up renting it this past weekend, so I thought I might as well give a better-late-than-never movie review.

First of all, I had completely forgotten it's a musical. Now, some of you may know, I have an unhealthy history with musicals. My mom has this bizarre fixation with The Sound of Music, and has made me watch it more times than I care to think about. Do you have any idea how ungodly long that film is? Do you?!

Ahem. Moving on.

Johnny Depp and crew gave a moving performance. The writing was superb from start to finish. The distinct visual style made me reminisce of the old days of classic black and white films, but at the same time made great stylistic use of color. The whole thing is an orgiastic feast for the eyes (unless of course blood makes you squeamish). Likewise, the musical score was top notch, and perfectly captured the mood of each scene.

All in all, I'm sure the dark, gothic elements of this story turned off most contemporary movie-goers. But, if you're like me and can appreciate a classic Victorian-esque tragedy (the whole thing just screams Edgar Allan Poe), you're bound to love this movie. So, my deranged little shut-ins, if you haven't see it yet, hurry up and go.

Blatant Advertising - LA Police Gear

LA Police Gear is an online store where you can get a variety of tactical gear, from such providers as Underarmour, Blackhawk, and of course Surefire (Intelligible Asian man not included). Some items are available at extra-low closeout prices, as well as special services for military and government customers.

Today, I'm specifically looking at the 5.11 Tactical Shorts. *moviephone voice* "The 5.11 Tactical Shorts are special purpose-built shorts designed to carry bulky items and remain durable, with only the finest components used in construction." So, in other words, they're really nice, durable shorts. The prices are understandably a bit steeper than your typical pair of shorts, but the promise of free shipping and a free hat certainly sweeten the deal.

Feels Something Like Summertime

I wish someone would explain Bon Jovi to me. Did he just wake up one day and go, "Hey, I'm gonna be a country singer now!" I like his album Lost Highway, but it's kind of new ground for him. I mean, sure, he's always had kind of a cowboy vibe, but not like this.

I'm still unemployed. Not necessarily hating it. My car's still in the shop, though. I'm not sure what's going on there, but this means my mom can't get on my back for not looking for a job, because I physically can't leave the house until they get the thing fixed.

I'm applying to go to SUNYIT in the fall, but there's no guarantee they'll take me. If they do, I'll be safe from the student loan company's bill collecting ninjas. I've managed to evade them so far with a combination of dumb luck and smoke bombs, but I can't hold out forever. Being back in school full-time is the only surefire way to get them off my back. So, here's hoping SUNYIT works out for me.

Also, I finished Primal. I didn't totally love it, but it was certainly a fun play. Plus, the only game I've got that cost less is Lifeline. I actually got it for free at GameStop with their buy-2-get-one deal. I might even go back and finish playing it now, what with Primal being done and all. Who knows? Maybe today shouting into a microphone at a ditzy blonde will seem like fun. Lord knows I don't get enough of that living back home with dear old mother.

Did I mention I want to get out of this house and go back to school in the fall? Okay. Just checking.