Chop Til You Get Tired Of It

I'm only a few hours into the game, but I'm about ready to start laying into this thing. Chop Til You Drop is fun, for sure, but it's far from perfect.

The story is okay so far, but the acting is less than convincing. And not in the campy horror movie way that's funny. But the low-card summer teen movie way that's distracting, disappointing and makes you kind of hate the production crew. And the writing is just so mediocre. Dialogue feels forced and unnatural. Had it been made into a movie, this thing would've been right at home on SciFi Saturdays.

Plus, why the hell does that fat guy run so damn fast? Frank is hobbling his battle-scarred ass around the mall, but when chunky gets a hankering for steak, he takes off and blows straight past a horde of zombies like he's Jesse Owens.

Wow, I am way too young for that reference. Sorry.

The graphics have obviously taken a step down from Xbox-land. The zombies still look pretty convincing, and you can pretty nicely chop, shred and dismember them with whatever you've got on hand. The animations seem to have suffered, though. I understand it's called Chop Til You Drop, but I didn't think that was referring to how the zombies' movements look when you run them down with a picnic umbrella.

The variety of subweapons is nice, but some of them are just plain unnecessary. The skateboard is easily the most useless item in the game. As long as you're holding it, you can't use subweapon attacks of any kind, and unless you can get a decent running start, don't expect to hop on and skate your way through a dangerous situation. And maybe I'm retarded but I couldn't figure out how to drop the damn thing besides picking up something else.

I really like the firearm/subweapon system, though. It's nice and easy to switch between melee and ranged weaponry, and the wii-mote makes aiming a gun second nature. Now, I know it's not the best gun or anything, but I just love the shotgun. You can't go wrong, man.

The wii remote also takes over with subweapon attacks, and I think this is where the wii controls shine the brightest. With some items like shopping carts, it's useless, but others it really takes over. Any boxes, benches, etc. can be thrown by swinging the remote overhand, which feels very natural. Plus, some items will give you different attacks you can use by swinging the remote. The sledgehammer is one of my favorites. Knocking a zombie flat, then swinging the remote overhead and whaling on it with a sledge is easily one of the most satisfying moments in the game.

So, overall, it's not completely blowing me away yet, and the overall presentation has definitely suffered from the move to lighter weight hardware, but it still makes for a fun gameplay experience. There are flaws, sure, but I kind sort of overlook them, if only for the simple reason that I love smashing things with a sledgehammer.

If you already own an Xbox, there's no real reason to get this. The essentials are already there in the original. The wii-mote controls are a lot of fun, but not worth shelling out the extra $50. If however you're like me, a sad little worm who doesn't own an Xbox360, never played the original Dead Rising, the Nintendo Wii is the only current gen system you own, and you seriously need to find some reason not to take a razor blade to your own wrists, consider checking out Dead Rising: Chop Til You Drop. It's definitely worth a rental, if not an outright purchase.

Stuff

Sorry for the lack of posts. It's my vacation, you know? Pretty uneventful. Sleep, eat, lounge and watch tv, rinse, repeat. A few things happened, though. Here are the good bits:

I did get out to that George Thorogood concert after all. It was a lot of fun. I think my dad had a good time, too. We both noticed he was younger than anyone in the band. What's funny is, George is old as dirt, but he still thinks he's hot stuff. He's entertaining, though, I'll say that.

Also, I finally got to see Pineapple Express. It was about what I expected, but I enjoyed it. I'm not sure how that one guy didn't die though. Didn't he get shot like seven times?

And, I picked up my copy of Dead Rising: Chop Til You Drop. To be honest, I'm kind of underwhelmed so far. I mean, I'm only a couple hours into it, but I was kind of hoping for more, considering all the hype the original got. My mini-review will get its own post in a minute.

Lastly, I might have found a place for the SUNYIT Paranormal Investigators to visit this spring. Fingers crossed, eh?

That'll do it for now. Peace and Love.

Why?

Just... why?

For the record:

If I mysteriously disappear in the coming weeks or months, it will most likely be because I have finally snapped and killed my Software Engineering teacher Michael DeMare and have begun fleeing the police. I'll explain further after I've calmed down a bit, but suffice to say he's easily in the top 5 people I most need to kill to make the world a better place. Seriously, if he doesn't hand in his teaching license at the end of this semester, I will murder him with my bare hands.

In other news, I've got a little ear infection. It doesn't really hurt anymore, though, so it's not really bothering me aside from the antibiotics I have to take. And hell, I'll be done with those less than a week anyway.

Also, looking forward to spring break, even if it is just going to be me hanging out at home. That still beats being here with Professor of the Year up there at the front of the room. Alright, I gotta go buy some leather gloves and a large tarp now. I'll see you when I see you, loyal readers. Peace and love.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu appears on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

...Wow.

I just watched it. It was a surreal experience, man. Look for the youtube clips in the next couple of days; it's worth it.

Other things and stuff

Is anyone out there still not watching Important Things with Demetri Martin? If so, you're a horrible person. Go watch the damn show already.

And speaking of random segues, some of you may know I recently made a quiz thingy on Facebook related to this Baroque game I've been playing. I made a few minor changes, so it should be running more smoothly now. I started promoting it (I do have an ad on the page, so it's in my best interest for this thing to circulate a bit), and I'd appreciate any help. If you like quizzes and/or hardcore dungeon crawlers where a living tank with a flaming cannon on its face will pwn you into last week, try the quiz, and invite your friends. The link should be there a couple posts down.

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Oh, and spring break is coming up. I have nothing to do, although I'm still praying for those George Thorogood tickets to go on sale. If anyone can hook me up, I'll love you forever. Peace and love, readers.

The bomb has been dropped

I made my final edits on my manuscript and sent it to the publisher whose name I won't mention because if anyone reading this happens to be a writer and submits their own work to the contest it decreases my chances of winning even further.

*breathes*

Okay. So, for anyone who wants to read The GeneTech Incident, I've uploaded most of it to my WEbook account (link in the sidebar). You don't need to sign up to read it. The last few chapters are missing, but I'll be adding them in soon. Not all of them, mind you. On the off chance you like it, I'm going to make you buy the book to see the ending. Muahahaha! MUAHAHAHA! *cough* Ack. Excuse me.

Things

Well, I made a quiz on Facebook for the fun of it. I think it came out pretty well, so give it a look if you like taking quizzes.

Also, to further motivate myself, I'm telling everyone that I'm close to being done with my manuscript. I just have to make a few more minor edits today and tomorrow, and possibly write something for the epilogue, and I'll be done. This means I might actually have it done by my goal deadline. If I experienced excitement, I'd be full of it right now.

That's all for now. More novel info when it's available. Peace and love.

Well, there's a buzzkill

If you were psychic, you might know that I occasionally enjoy Pat Condell and his somewhat bleak version of humor. I'm subscribed to his page on YouTube. If you have a YouTube account and are not subscribed to Pat Condell's videos, you're probably a Nazi.

Anyway, something he's been talking about a lot lately is the rising influence of Islam in Europe and elsewhere. If you're living in the UK or the Netherlands, or you're like me and give a shit about the rest of the world, you should really look into this stuff.

Particularly, take a look at this film Fitna if you get the chance. It's only 15 minutes, and it's a pretty grim reality check. The dramatic mood music is a little cheesy, but it doesn't change the fact that the film makes a good point.

While you're at it, watch Pat's latest video. He really drives home the point that Islam extremists are getting way out of control in the UK, and unlike some YouTube mouthpieces, he has the courtesy to link to news articles about what he's talking about.

I signed the petition he links to, and I'd suggest you do the same.

That's all for now. Peace and love.

Oh, what the hell is this?

Look, I'm not in the habit of complaining about dining hall food. I know working in a college kitchen is no one's dream job, so if the food isn't spectacular, I put up with it. But this...

This was in my jello today. It appears to be made of the same material as the jello around it, yet it's shaped like a piece of clear tape, and it has the same taste and consistency as a rubber band.



I ask you, how in the flying flamboyant hell do you screw up jello?! It's jello! You mix it with water, heat it, throw it in the fridge, and you're done. How does something like this even happen? Should I be in fear for my health? Did I almost ingest another alien life form?

Short Tales

Just in case anyone out there is thinking, "Hey, I like this blog, but I wish it had more posts, and those posts were shorter and much more pointless." Well, I've got this tales thing on Human Pets. It's like a blog, only not. I'm working on a way to incorporate it into this blog so you can find all your Dan-related goodness in one place. Until then, you can find the tales thing here:

http://humanpets.com/tale.php?uid=18106654

God help you if you actually read more than a couple of those.

Okay, who the hell is Bon Scott?

I feel like I should know this. Anyone mind saving me the trip to Wikipedia?

Also, internet memes never die, they just go back to hell to regroup.

Ow. Pain.

Still playing Baroque and loving it. I realize I may need to revise my impromptu review from earlier. Remember how I said things get easier as you go? Yeah, that was a lie. I hadn't realized it, but the story isn't the only thing that is revealed as you die over and over. Somewhere after death #12, new sections of the tower opened up. Aside from getting to meet a new character and finding a new consciousness orb, I was introduced to two nasty new enemies.



One is basically a wall with an evil face that wants to kill you. They love to block paths pretending to be a wall, then spin around and beat you senseless. This sucks because it makes the coward routine of running like hell to the exit point very difficult. I'm not usually one to chicken out from a fight, but if I've got half a dozen Liars and death knights on my tail, mobility tends to be my best ally.




Plus, these wall things are tough to fight even one on one. They have a heap of hit points, high attack power, and there's really no sound strategy to attack them without getting hit. Plus, even when they're finally dead, they can still collapse onto you and crush you to death. Hard to avoid that one in a cramped hallway.

By the way, I'd like to take this opportunity for an important complaint: hallways are the worst place to be in a fight. Ever. In any game, or real life. If some guy challenges you to a fight in a hallway, run like hell. You're screwed.



Then there are the hungones. They hang from the ceiling and take cheap swipes at you. Not so scary on their own, but supporting other enemies, they're dangerous. What's worse, they have the ability to poison, lust, or paralyze you. Since when is it legal to give an enemy three different status ailment powers? On the bright side, they do have a wide range, which means other enemies in the area end up feeble and at your mercy.

Hey, I said I liked a challenge now and then. I guess I'm getting it.

Breaking the Block

I've been in kind of a writing rut lately. I had made a goal to finish my novel manuscript and submit it to a contest. Well, entries started January 15th, and that was my completion goal. But for one reason or another, my laziness kept me from getting it done.

It's really quite sad. My problem isn't writer's block. At least not anymore. The problem is that writing doesn't carry the same joy for me as it used to. I used to enjoy it so much. But now, trying to finish up a manuscript just feels like a chore to get out of the way. It breaks my heart to think I could be losing interest in something so important to me. I still love writing my short stories and stuff, but working on a novel is pretty brutal.

I had a nice breakthrough last night, though. I finally convinced myself to sit down and get to work. To my surprise, the words just came back to me. I hardly broke pace for a good hour and change, and I managed to get about four good pages done. Those first four pages of this chapter should be the hardest, so the rest should be smooth sailing.

I'm thinking about adding another chapter or two in the middle, but other than that, this is the final chapter of the book. So, I figure I should try to keep this momentum going clear to the finish line. The contest is rolling submission, up through June, but judging starts in March, and I want to be done before then.

And so, my new deadline goal is to have the manuscript finished and submitted by the end of the month. If I can sit down and seriously write at least once every three days, I should be able to easily make that date. For once, I plan to hold myself to this one. It's a new year's resolution, after all, and I don't think I'd be very proud of myself if it took me until June to write one or two chapters.

That's about it for now. I guess I'll check in when I'm finished. Remember, if anyone is interested in giving me their feedback on this thing, I have the first 3/4 or so of the initial draft uploaded to WEbook, so you can read it online here. If you've got some free time, let me know what you think of it. Peace and love, people.

Not Always The Best Medicine

Demetri Martin made me laugh so hard it hurt. As it turns out, laughter feels pretty bad when your windpipe is loaded with mucus. Instead of laughing normally, I made a grotesque wheezing noise and hurt my still-sensitive throat. But I couldn't stop.

On the bright side, I can confidently say now that Important Things is probably the best show Comedy Central has had in years. It was one hell of a premiere episode. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard it hurt. I won't be able to say that after today, huh?

So, if you didn't watch the show, do it. Until you do, I will hate you. You not-Demetri-Martin-watching jerk.

Lazy Update #5ish

RE: The Economy

I'm sure there's plenty I could say here, but I think this about sums it up.

Baroque in a Nutshell

This is pretty much the whole outer world before you enter the Neuro Tower. Don't feel bad if you get confused. The Arch Angel is the only one who isn't totally insane.

Hey, I told you, Coffin Guy is a riot, right?

Into the depths

Still sick, so I'm trying to distract myself from the fact that I can't really breathe. I've been playing Baroque on the Wii. It's funny how the more IGN hates a game, the more I seem to enjoy them.

In this case, I can understand some ill feelings people might have. This is basically a game that was two generations old. It was released on the Dreamcast, and I imagine at the time people were interested in a unique dungeon-crawler adventure game. Then it was on the PS2, and nobody cared. But they released the game again on the Wii, and surprise surprise, still no one cares. To be frank, releasing a strictly classic-control 2-gens-ago game on the Wii makes about as much sense as buying new sneakers for an amputee.

Nonetheless, I am enjoying this thing. The combat is surprisingly deep. The item-throwing system definitely took getting used to, but is really a lot of fun. The story setup and everything is really unusual, and that's probably the problem people have with it. By people, I mean the wussies at IGN who call themselves gamers.

Let's be clear: I am a hardcore gamer. Getting my ass kicked for the first few hours of a game is normal to me. That's how you get better. You keep going, and as you persevere and become better at it, you have a genuine feeling of pride at having conquered the challenges set before you.

"Gamers" these days want everything handed to them. God forbid you do any thinking or practice of your own. The IGN reviewer given Baroque was clearly mismatched for the task, because this is not a casual game. You are going to die. Get over it.

And every time he dies, "ZOMG Lvl 1 again?!? This is bullshit!!!" The whole idea of levels is to reflect on the fact that your fighting prowess has been growing as you go. It's nothing altogether irreplaceable, though. Hacking and slashing flying fish for experience doesn't exactly require talent. You don't even need to be that high a level to get through the game. Aside from the VT system, there's little to stop you from dropping your sword and running like a little girl all the way to the exit point.

"There is a certain breed of gamer out there that enjoys these "roguelike" adventures and aren't bothered by having their characters reset every time they die. These brave few may find Baroque to their liking, but most of us will wonder what we ever did to deserve this punishment."

Granted, I know where he's coming from. I absolutely hated this game for the first hour like everyone else. "I can die just by standing still too long? WTF?" But it grew on me. And believe it or not, the game actually gets slightly easier as you go. You'll encounter new kinds of enemies, but their power won't increase at the same rate as your Level, and the floors of the tower are littered with shiny items to help you along, including brands and parasites that decrease your VT consumption to the point that you don't really even notice it anymore.

By the way, I'd just like to say that I still think the tutorial coffin guy is funny as hell. He's supposed to be a foul-mouthed punk, but the game is rated T, so the most he can do is pepper "Goddammit" into every sentence.

I understand if some people can't appreciate the hardcore experience like I do, but today's series of casual games are making gamers soft. They don't work for anything. I get the desire for quick and dirty enjoyment from games, but some of us actually want a deeper experience than that.

So, I think the point I'm trying to make, if any at all, is judge your games slowly. If you go into a game like Baroque with specific expectations, you are going to be disappointed. I doubt many people thought games like Ico and Shadow of the Colossus could sell, but now they're both cult classics. Keep an open mind, and you might just enjoy the ride.

A more serious note: Our Soldiers Abroad

Today, some people at SUNYIT set up this table for sending letters to soldiers abroad. I wrote one, but it was really stupid, and barely even coherent. You've seen what happens when I try to write on the fly.

Really, though, what sucked about it was that it wasn't genuine. The whole point of sending letters is to give these guys and gals a heartfelt message to lift their spirits. My message was weak and phoned-in. Something like this, I think:

"Calling you heroes doesn't even begin to say it. Stay alive, okay? You guys rock."

I know, it's awful, right? And the main reason is that, for me at least, it wasn't real. I somehow doubt I could have said it to any of their faces. Hell, I barely managed to write anything at all.

The problem I have here is that I'm reluctant to express how I really feel. Don't get me wrong; I have all the respect in the world for our troops. The fact that they put their lives on the line for our country is amazing, and the word 'hero' really doesn't do them justice. But this is a complicated issue. As you may know, I've always been against the war, and the more I see of the results, the more my opinions seem to be reaffirmed.

The Iraq war never should have been started. I know Saddam Hussein was a rotten guy and a ruthless dictator, but who are we to get involved in that? The Middle East has always been, dare I say, fraught with turmoil. Hussein was just the most recent in a long line of corrupt despots in that region. Religious, racial and political differences have always been the catalysts for war in the Middle East, even among the people living there. The whole Sunni/Shiite conflict still blows my mind.

My point there is that we didn't really do anything. We put one dictator out of commission and introduced the ideas of democracy to Iraq. Honestly, how long do you think that will stick? Hey, I might be wrong on this one, but if history is any indication, trying to establish Western ideals in the Middle East doesn't end well.

Even more importantly, I thought the whole point of going to war in the first place was to combat terrorism, but we haven't accomplished that at all. Even if we had invaded the right country, terrorism isn't restricted to any one of those countries, or even that part of the world. There will always be psycho extremists in the world; you can't just declare war on them and expect to put a stop to it. You can't fight them on the battlefield, and you can't negotiate in the embassy. All you can really do is kill them before they kill us, and that's not exactly a moral way of conducting international relations.

The bottom line is, the troops shouldn't be in Iraq. They still shouldn't. They may have done some good over there, but I don't see how it can last. God knows we can't keep them there forever, unless we just want to outright overthrow the country and make it a territory of the US. Those kinds of actions tend to be frowned upon in the 21st century. Whatever little good our men and women have done over there can be undone in half the time. In 90% of the population, fear is a more powerful motivator than hope. As long as the past is there to haunt Iraq, the people living there have no chance for a better future.

You know why I couldn't be sincere in my letter to the troops? Because the truth isn't what they need to hear, and I just don't have the balls to say to those soldiers what I really want to say. If I did have the balls, it would probably sound something like this:

"I'm sorry. Come home soon."

Bleargh

I'm still sick. You ever cough up something so big you have to spit it in the sink? And then when it slithers down the drain, you swear for a second it was alive? I'm having one of those days.

In related news, I may have released some kind of phlegm-like mutant creature into the sewers under Utica. If some horrible disaster ensues involving people getting eaten alive by some freakish sewer monster, you now know who to blame for that.

Sorry.

That is one crazy Swede

I'm just saying, this is a little crazy.

Question for you:

Should I even bother doing my taxes this year? My total income last year was on the order of $500. I made a lot of donations to charity, but the cutoff is something like a thousand dollars. I've looked at the forms. Part of me is thinking about trying the free edition of TurboTax just for kicks, but those kinds of thoughts scare me. I mean, who does their taxes for fun?

Well, I should at least think about doing it. I'll need the money. I still haven't bought any of the books I need for my classes this semester. I'm wondering how long I'll be able to get away with this. Can I get through the whole thing without buying any of the books? It's unlikely at best.

More ramblings when I feel like it. Love you. <3

The Train Leaves At 3:15 Sharp

So, I've been dicking around on WEbook a little. I read this one piece by some guy. It's a little outside-the-box, but then, boxes are for squares.

Anyway, I just thought I should keep my posts flowing here, so I just thought I'd write a bit here even if it's nothing entirely important. Honestly, if you're reading this at all, there's probably nothing especially pressing on your To-Do list for the day. So, take a second and go for a metaphorical walk with me, will you?

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It gets scary some days, thinking you're one of the last sane people on Earth. You know, they say that a million people can't be wrong. Well, if a million people walk off a cliff and plummet to their deaths, I'd go so far as to say they were wrong. The cliff, of course, if metaphorical. I'm talking more about things in our everyday lives. Things that, while they won't kill you quickly, will likely kill a couple brain cells, as well as drastically cut your opportunities for the future by closing your mind to the unordinary. That, by the way, is a new word I'm coining. Use it in your own everyday speech if you like it.

The thing is, most people stay with what they know in their lives. They're resistant to change, and for good reason. New things are unknown things, and if there's one thing mankind fears above all else, it's what he doesn't know. Ironically, people will say they want to pursue knowledge, only to find out that they were happier not knowing things. Like, how is a hot dog made? How many bacteria are living on the keyboard I am typing on this very second? What do third-degree burns feel like? Exactly how many polyps do I have in my colon right now? These are things I probably don't want to know.

I know those are extreme examples, but the truth is that pretty much all knowledge comes with consequences, and they're usually unpleasant. A wise man once said if you keep too much of an open mind, your brains will fall out. By the same token, though, if your mind stays too closed, it'll suffocate and leave you a drooling dunce.

So, like all things, we must strive for that perfect balance. We must acquire enough knowledge to get by, and for some of us, we need quite a bit to feel fulfilled. At the same time, though, we must remain ignorant enough to keep from becoming utterly insane. Believe me, this can and will happen. Some of the smartest people on Earth are sitting in a padded room agonizing over what the well-read refer to as "the imponderables."

Anyway, that's what I've been working for. I'm stupid, though. I always want to learn more, because I'm a curious creature by nature. Inevitably, though, I'll probably end up going off the deep end without even realizing it. After all, it's not as though you wake up one morning stark raving mad. It's something you move slowly towards. Not coincidentally, this is the same trend by which one becomes a learned, intelligent person.

In truth, I think that ultimate knowledge is, in itself, insanity. What we consider sane is base on us having certain expectations of our world, and as long as we keep those, our minds are closed to the deepest depths of knowledge. This is both good and bad, since we don't want to be crazy, but we also thirst for knowledge.

It's a matter of greed, really. Nobody honestly needs to know everything there is to know, but we still want to. The trick is trying to figure out when we know enough. But, like the love of money, food, or any other vice, the love of knowledge is unquenchable. The more you acquire, the more you'll want.

So, what it comes down to, if you ask me, is figuring out when to call it quits. Sooner or later, you just have to close the book and quit cold turkey. Either that, or keep the advance of your knowledge gradual enough that your mind can slowly expand to encompass it. Like how you let your pants out after Thanksgiving dinner. Don't want to bust the seam and send a button flying across the room and break the lamp. That's the pants metaphor for a mental hospital.

I've tried several times in vain to close this train of thought, but maybe this time I will for real. Because that is the ultimate lesson here: moderation. You have to know when to put a lid on it. I'm sure I have plenty more to say, but I'm not going to, because just like the acquisition of knowledge, the dispersal of it must be taken in moderation. So, before I go any further, I'm going to shut up now.

Peace and lover, readers.

Oh, and if you're still reading, do yourself a favor and remember when to quit. You'll be left wanting more, but that'll always be the case. Better to stop and be left wanting more than keep going and want even more. Still with me? Good. I guess that means we're not crazy yet.

Re: Facebook Ads

What is with these IQ test ads? Do they really expect me to believe that Barrack Obama and Randy Orton have the same IQ? What does that say about their online IQ tests, I wonder...

Also, to all the dating sites that want my business: Okay, I get it. I'm single; there are singles sites on the web that could change that. I don't care. Stop trying to make me feel about myself just because I don't want to ruin two people's lives at once by getting involved with someone. Even if I was looking right now, why would I go to Christian/Gothic/Asian/Nerdy/Black/Over-50 specific singles sites? What kind of sick perv do you think I am? It's probably nothing compared to the sick perv I actually am, but it's still a little insulting.

Here's your forecast:

It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be gray, and it's gonna last you the rest of your life.

By the way, why is it that whenever I get talked into watching the Superbowl, something fuck-all crazy happens? Toward the end of the first half, it still seemed like it would be anybody's game. Arizona was about the make a touchdown and just about tie things up. Then, just when you think it's touchdown time, the Steelers' defensive guy intercepts the ball in the end zone, runs like hell the whole 105 yards to the opposite end zone, gets pulled down by the jersey at the last second and just barely makes the touchdown by landing on his head and twisting his neck at a very awkward angle.

What... the... fuck? How does something like that even happen? Is this guy seriously defensive lineman of the year, or does Arizona really suck that badly?

Besides that, from the way he landed, he should've been dead, or at least out of the game for a while. They cut to the guy a minute later, and he's walking around like it never even happened. They give him a little oxygen, and he's good to go for the second half. Has this guy been tested yet? Not for steroids, I mean, for alien DNA? No human being can possibly shake off a landing like that. Except maybe Johnny Knoxville, but then I'm not convinced he's human either.

Okay, enough about football. Last random thought for the day: is it unhealthy to eat an entire plate of cookies by yourself? My stomach's making some unusual noises.

That's enough for now. Peace and love.

Lazy Update #4 ...I think

Rage Against the Machine

The band? Yes and no. While I love 'em, this post isn't about RATM, but rather the concept it was founded on:

This caught my eye today. A little after the fact, I realize, but I have to say, this really concerns me.

I just got into Pandora this morning, but I'm really interested, and lord knows I'm a proponent of free music exchange. Then I hear people are trying to hike Internet radio royalties? What the hell is this shit? I can understand the desire to counteract the financial hit caused by illegal downloading and such, but charging the Internet radio people is not the way to go.

Of course, these SoundExchange goons try to justify their bull:

"While it's true that SoundExchange has had DRM and radio broadcast flags on its agenda for some time now, representatives of the company have also justified its stance on higher royalties from revenue and profit standpoints. Stations like Pandora, SoundExchange argues, have a higher profit margin and more value because they can broadcast an unlimited number of songs to their users. This dynamic ability stands in contrast to traditional and even satellite radio stations that broadcast a single song on a finite number of channels."

I think you're missing the point there, Jack. The very fact that Internet radio provides infinitely more songs already means they're accountable for more. They may get a supposedly higher profit margin, but taking 70%? Isn't that kind of steep? I don't care how much their income is; 70% is most of what they're making.

Bottom line, I think common sense should overpower people's belief of what the stations "owe." If the station can't even stay in business because of these ridiculous hikes, how are they supposed to pay you in the first place? You can't even get the money in the first place if you drive them to pull the plug on the site. I swear, how is it possible that people who've gone to school for business can be so god damn stupid about running businesses?

Sure, SoundExchange argues that there is more the Internet radio stations could be doing to increase their revenue. By that logic, there's no reason I can't afford to pay my college tuition right now, because I'm certainly still able to take on another part time job, sell all my stuff on ebay, and trade in my nice dorm room in favor of sleeping in my car.

Seriously, what do they expect Pandora to do? Plaster ads all over their pages? That would make the experience less enjoyable. Charge money instead of offering free memberships? That would ruin the whole fucking point of an Internet radio station!

Anyway, thank God that music lovers everywhere stood up and said something. And thank God I finally noticed this all took place last September. :P For a minute there, I was getting ready to start a rally, man.

Well, I hope this proves my point. The Man can't keep us down, baby. Long live rock and roll. Long live the art of music. Peace.

Hey

Remember how I said I was going to talk about that thing in Poughkeepsie Sunday night?

Yeah... no. Seriously, I don't see the point. It wasn't anything blogworthy. I just dropped in on Jordan for a couple hours and we had dinner at the Palace with his girlfriend and Other-Dan. We socialized, he made fun of me in front of his girlfriend, and I got to add her to the list of girls that feel sorry for me. Good times were had, but why make a big deal out of it? Come on, Jordan, is your ego so fragile that you need to be talked about on the interweb to feel special? At least you have a girlfriend to make you feel better about yourself. I'm at SUNYIT, with its 80-20 guy-to-girl ratio. I spend my Friday nights alone, jerking it to Japanese porn. You're not the one who needs validation here.

Anyway, aside from that, Schunk has apparently moved to a new house/apartment/hole in the ground. At least, I think that's the case. It was difficult to try to get him on the phone, and when I called him back to find out the address, he didn't pick up. So, our ultimate showdown will have to wait until spring break or something, I guess. Or maybe I'll drop in during finals week. You never know.

Question for you...

Who needs this much liquor in their lives? Seriously. That's a bottle of merlot in the front there. I think all this belongs to our new suitemate. Did he get shot in the Civil War and needs to have something amputated? Because that's the only time I can imagine a human being needing this much alcohol available to them.

Update:
Well, apparently the merlot belongs to my roommate. Now, I'm not judging him or anything, but I've never looked at merlot as a casual evening beverage, you know? But maybe that's just me. To be honest, I might just be a little jealous he can drink that much. Or at all, for that matter. I think some of you know how poorly me and alcohol go together.

Patience...

I've had an interesting weekend, but I don't have time to post about it right now. The spring semester is beginning, and I have a lot to do to get ready. I have to pack up my games, get my Brita filter set up somewhere safe, finish all my illegal downloads at home so they don't bust me at school. Busy, busy, busy.

Anyway, for those not in the know, I dropped in on some people in Poughkeepsie on Sunday. Not Schunk, though, because he pussed out. More on this when I have the time. Happy new semester, kids.

Kids and Guns: Friends Forever

The headline reads, Ohio Teen Killed Mom Over Video Game.
This is something I need to sound off on. Now.

ELYRIA, Ohio (Jan. 13) - Although a teenager's obsession with a violent video game may have warped his sense of reality, the boy is guilty of murdering his mother and wounding his father after they took "Halo 3" away from him, a judge ruled Monday.

"I firmly believe that Daniel Petric had no idea at the time he hatched this plot that if he killed his parents they would be dead forever," Lorain County Common Pleas Judge James Burge said.

Bullshit. I think the kid knew what he was doing. He's 17 years old, for god's sake. You can't tell me his concept of reality is that fucked up at age 17.

Ultimately, I don't think this is a matter of insanity at all. The guy killed his parents for taking away his game; he didn't do that because he's insane, he did it because he's an addict aching for a fix. At best, he was going through withdrawal symptoms typical of an addict and made a semi-impulsive decision to kill them. At worst, he's just a sick little shit who cares more about the game than his own parents.

You know, what bothers me the most about this is that no one bothers to bring up the logical question here: if a boy has reached age 17, and yet is still so immature as to be addicted to a videogame and lash out at his parents like that, could it possibly be that they are to blame here?

Listen, Halo is not responsible for what this kid did. Bungie Studios didn't raise the punk for 17 years. The parents failed, and so the kid fails; end of story.

I'll tell you something else, too: Life in jail isn't the answer. It never is, but especially not for a case like this. If you ask me, this kid either needs serious extensive rehab, or a lethal injection. Either way, we need to fix the problem, not just push it into the corner and try to forget about it.

Politicians, lawyers, and various other talking heads love to point fingers at video games, but that's the easy way out, and it's not based in reality. I know plenty of well-adjusted individuals who play violent games. They don't bring those actions into their own life because they can distinguish between fantasy and reality. Why? Because they were taught the difference by their parents and teachers, the people who they looked up to.

Now, everyone knows I'm a big gamer, but I know games are an escape from reality, not a full-on lifestyle. Kids and adults alike get sucked into video games when they lack happiness and fulfillment in their real lives. If adults allow the next generation to collapse into such meaningless misery that they need the escape of videogames, drugs or alcohol to cope, they have no one to blame but themselves.

Maybe it was the pasta primavera

There's something really odd with my metabolism. When I get sick, it's never the normal progression of events. It all happens in fast forward; all symptoms are 10 times worse, but last a fraction of the time.

This past Saturday, I had some kind of nasty stomach bug, and went through the illness from start to finish in record time. Let me walk you through my morning:

• From the time I wake up for work until about 9:15, no symptoms at all.


• 9:20, I'm just sort of uncomfortable.


• 9:25, getting worse, but I figured it was just gas.


• 9:30, I'm in serious distress.


• 9:35, I'm doubled over in crippling pain, getting nauseas.


• 9:40, I have diarrhea, then more pain.


• 9:45, I call someone at work, then run to the kitchen for a really big bowl.


• 9:50, the vomiting starts.



By the way, I think I pretty much have vomiting down to a science now, as I vacated my entire digestive track in 4 or 5 heaves. Part of my undigested breakfast, followed by the rest of breakfast, last night's dinner, part of yesterday's lunch, and whatever fluids are left over all of my meals from the past week. Anyway, I'm still doubled over in agony, but it's getting better after flushing my system.



• 9:55, pain subsiding, nausea gone, my mom concerned.


• 10:00, call work again to make sure Jen got someone to fill in.


• 10:05, I feel okay, maybe 75%, but very drained, so I head back to bed to recover. I slept for the rest of the morning.

By the afternoon, I was 100% and playing Godzilla: Unleashed. I went through all stages of a 24-hour stomach bug inside of 45 minutes. I'm pretty sure that's unnatural. Anyway, those 10-15 minutes before and including the vomiting were the worst of my life, but I'm totally fine now, so no big deal, I guess.

Final Update on FCR.com, and UPS Grudge

I received a speedy reply to my email request. My cancellation was processed, but apparently I'll still have access to my account until the 15th or so when my last month's payment will be up. For the life of me, I can't understand why the lady who works the phones at Customer Care is incapable of doing this, but the woman who handled my email request had no problem with it.

Anyway, I think the conclusion I draw from this is that telephone correspondence with any major corporation is completely pointless. I had similar problems trying to contact UPS about my missing Christmas gifts. The difference here is that FCR's support people responded to my email in a day. UPS has told me my claim is being processed, and I haven't heard jack since then.

So, FreeCreditReport.com, you may consider all forgiven. I won't be threatening arson against your establishment anymore. That rage is now reserved for the United Prick Service.

Update: FCR.com

In hindsight, I may have been a bit harsh on FreeCreditReport.com and Triple Advantage. Despite my difficulties with Customer Care, I have been pretty happy with the email updates and report details I've gotten. In a last ditch effort at parting civilly, I've sent an email to the support center. This is an actual copy of the email I sent them:

"Now, I recently contacted Customer Care about canceling my membership. This was back in December, and the person I talked to advised me to wait and take advantage of the remaining month of service I had paid for. Well, I have waited and checked my report again, but now I really need to cancel my membership. I do not dislike the service I have received, but my current financial situation makes it extremely difficult for me to keep up with the monthly payments. So, I think it would be best if my membership with Triple Advantage was discontinued.

Thank you for your attention, and I you can take care of this for me soon.

Sincerely,
Dan Mayer

~~Halfway between the gutter and the stars~~"

Aside from the grammar issue at the end there, I think I was very professional. I hope they respond to me in kind. On the off chance you care, I'll keep you posted.

Sorry about that

Cop mistakes penis for gun - Watch more Free Videos

New Year's Resolutions '09

I'm usually not very into these, but I want to be a better person, and this is a nice launch-pad for aspirations. So, here are some things I want to do, preferably before the first half of the year is out.

1. Finish My First Novel: I think this is a realistic goal. I've worked on this thing on and off for years now, but if I ever really buckled down and got to work, I'm positive I could finish it inside of two weeks. Which is handy, considering there is an online manuscript contest starting in about two weeks.


2. Kick Schunk's Ass in SvR-2009: I haven't gotten out to Poughkeepsie in a long time, but Schunk tells me he got Smackdown vs. Raw for the 360. No doubt he's been playing quite a bit by himself and with his friends at Marist, and this has probably given him the mistaken impression that he is the man. Well, don't forget, Schunky-boy, to be the man, you gotta beat the man. Woo!


3. Get Better At Guitar: No, not Guitar Hero. I'm over that; I've moved on to the real thing. Unfortunately, I really suck, and can never seem to find time to practice. I'm hoping to get my own guitar that actually fits me well someday, but for now all I have is my mom's gigantic acoustic guitar. It's better than nothing, but it makes practicing tough. I mean, I'm already at a disadvantage with my girly little fingers. The oversized guitar really doesn't help.

Um...

...what?

Two Videos For You

Nothing special here. Just me screwing around with my webcam.

A stupid magic trick:


My buddy Kurt again:

Airing of Grievances - Part 1

Well, I imagine I'll have more to add to this, but for the moment I'm too tired. You see, I just went through hell with customer care, which is an ironic thing to call it since they clearly don't really. I may have more fish to fry, but for now, I air my grievances with FreeCreditReport.com in this 3-part video blog post:

Part 1 - My Beef

Part 2 - The Call

Part 3 - The Moral of the Story

~~~



He is the perpetuator of lies; the pied piper of destruction. Listen not to his siren's song, lest you be drawn into the jaws of oblivion.

Mom's baking again...

It must be almost Christmas.

Mom's baked goods are easily my favorite part of Christmas. Cookies, fudge, snowballs, and the occasional pie. By the way, for those who haven't heard of them, snowballs are basically little balls of dough smothered in powdered sugar. They're delicious, and I'm pretty sure they have the power to cure diabetes.

Also, I'm getting back to work on weekends. You know, the Meals on Wheels thing. I guess they lost a couple people, so they needed someone to do a route. However, this weekend I couldn't work on Sunday because of the snowstorm. Which sucks, since SUNYIT hiked their tuition and I now owe another $775 dollars. Now, I can't decide which of those to rant about, so how about both at once?

I hate New England winters, man! The people at the bursar's office are nice and all, but they need to get their shit together. It's like 17 degrees outside, and at least two and a half feet of snow on the ground, just from this weekend. You know, I've been pissed at them ever since the start of the semester when I almost didn't get housing because they never even checked for the damn paperwork. And the roads are positively awful, especially in the morning. Plus, they increased the tuition after my room went from a triple to a double, but didn't add the charges until after I had taken out a loan to pay the balance for my room in the first place. I know, it's New England and I should be used to driving in slush and shit by now, but I'm really not. And now I have to deal with this stupid tuition hike, which is worsened because I never borrowed enough money in the first place to pay for everything. I swear, I'm moving someplace temperate as soon as I get the chance. Thus, you can see why I need to work: I need the money. Or maybe I'll have two homes, one in northern England for summertime, and one in Florida for winter.

Alright, I'm all ranted out. I'll see you cats and dogs sometime after Christmas. I'll probably waste a lot of time playing Warioland: Shake It! on the Wii. I'm getting it for Christmas. I know this, because I bought it for myself, and my psycho mother won't let me buy things for myself at Christmastime; it has to be a gift from some family member who gave me a check.

Oh, and just as a reminder, I'll be doing my Festivus celebration publicly this year. At least, as publicly as this blog or a Facebook note can get. There are no doubt some grievances to be aired. That, and I need to do Feats of Strength for once. Schunk, what are you doing on the 23rd?

God is Great and Merciful

And his fan club makes me giggle.

Obituary: Janet Ferguson

After that long-winded rant of mine, I figured this deserved its own post.

I just heard last night that Craig Ferguson's mother passed away on December 1st. This is a sad event in Craig's life, for sure, but he was back to do the Late Late Show this past Monday night, one week later. (You can probably find clips on YouTube by now).

In being true to himself, though, the bulk of the show was dedicated to talking about his mother, which I found very endearing. He still wants to put on a good show for everyone, but he's not the kind of guy who'll show up for work after his mom passed away and act like it didn't bother him. I really respect him for that, and my heart goes out to him.

Now, unfortunately, I couldn't find a decent picture of her for this, but I did find this video from the show, so I figure it's just as good. This is from 2005 when she went to LA to visit Craig after he got his new gig as late night talk show host. While she was there, she got to see the sights as she was treated to a nice day out with Rza of the Wu Tang Clan.

Yes, you read that right.

~~~~~

Janet "Netta" Ferguson



August 3, 1933 - December 1, 2008

Rest in Peace

Gay Marriage - My 20¢

I don't know how many of you watch the Daily Show, but there was just a very compelling interview between John and Mike Huckabee. I wasn't aware of this before, but apparently Huckabee's against gay marriage (or if you prefer, in favor of protecting the sanctity of marriage). At any rate, the interview (which ended up being just shy of 20 minutes) got me thinking, and I decided I'd weigh in on the issue myself. (You might want to hit the restroom and grab something to eat, because this could take awhile)

Now, Mike Huckabee's argument, although flawed in my opinion, is grounded in sound logic. He's in favor of preserving the values that he and many Americans hold dear. By itself, this is certainly a reasonable position, and probably one I would hold myself if not for my affliction of the mind which causes me to think about everything from every possible angle. I'm not saying Huckabee's wrong, but that he's right about the wrong thing. Still with me? Cool.

The thing is, Huckabee's position basically says to me that he's not seeing the forest for the trees. Or the trees for the forest they make up. Whatever. The point is, by standing behind his values, the sanctity of marriage and by extension the family unit, he has inadvertently placed himself in direct conflict with another sacred value: the belief that all men are created equal. Again, I don't think less of him for it any more than would for a person who's for gay marriage, as they have thus abandoned the traditional definition of marriage.

The bottom line is, this issue is complex and difficult because it places two of our society's core values at odds. Sadly, this is one of those times when we can't have our cake and eat it too. A decision has to be made, and in my opinion, banning gay marriage is the wrong one.

It's a matter of priorities to me. Human freedoms in my mind are more important than protecting our age-old concept of marriage. Marriage is a great institution, but compared to our freedoms, it's just not worth defending anymore. For starters, marriage as an institution isn't as set in stone as people would like to think. As Stewart mentioned, there were times in human history when polygamy was the accepted norm. In the dark ages and beyond, marriage was more concerned with creating an economic agreement between two wealthy families than it was with the wishes of the two people being married. It was a simple means to an end, not a sacred union.

Then there is the simple fact that marriage's "sanctity" has been under attack for centuries already, and faced no opposition until now. People can get married in Vegas without getting out of their car. Is that sacred? People get married all the time to fuse their assets, or in the case of immigrants, they get married so they gain the right to stay in the country. Is that really sacred? And don't forget, a good 40-something percent of marriages end in divorce, often resulting in the family's finances being strained, their children emotionally scarred, and their overall bond as a family left all but dissolved. Is that really sacred?

I'm sorry, but the argument that marriage needs defending is akin to the argument that we should make greater efforts to save the Dodo from extinction. Marriage isn't sacred. It may be a nice symbol of the love two people for each other, and is a great step forward in their life together, but sacred? I'll allow that there may be individual marriages that are sacred, but taking the institution as a whole, accounting for its long and seemingly self-contradictory history, I have to say that marriage in general is not sacred.

Therefore, with the institution of marriage being a sadly un-sacred affair, it seems to me that the value we should be defending is the one that each and every one of us still holds sacred today: the notion that we are all equals, both in the eyes of God and the eyes of the law. There may yet be an argument that can prove humanity is not sacred, but I have yet to encounter it, and will firmly stand my ground as a member of the human race until I do.

Oh my...

You know how I've been kind of down on game developers for recycling old ideas? Well, in this case, I think I can make an exception.

Jean Splicing

I'm wearing this pair of jeans I've had for a couple months now. I can't prove it, but I think they've somehow become self-aware, and now they're trying to slowly kill me. Frankly, I can't blame them. If I had to be pressed up tight against the crotch of a guy like me all day, I'd get homicidal, too.

Here's the thing: I mentioned how I've had them for a while. Normally, when you get a new pair of jeans, the first time you wear them is the tightest they'll ever be. Every wear thereafter, your girth slightly stretches the denim, giving them a more comfortable lived-in fit. This is true of almost every other pair of jeans I have. Sure, they can get a little stiff again if I haven't worn them in a while, but otherwise they're no problem.

But this pair... I swear, I've worn them at least once a week, every week since mid-September, and they're actually getting tighter. It sounds impossible, but there's no other explanation. I'm not gaining weight; believe me, if you'd seen the quality of food they offer at the dining hall, you'd know that's not possible. My appetite disappears long before I've eaten enough to put on any weight.

Of course, I'm open to any other logical explanations people might have, such as the cold weather or the detergent I'm using. In the meantime, I'm going to keep wearing these suckers purely out of spite. As far as I'm concerned, it's a battle of honor now. This isn't going to end until one of us breaks. Either I stop wearing them, or they secede and start loosening up so I can wear them comfortably.

There's no way I'm giving in, though. It's not in me. I've always had an all-or-nothing personality; I don't back down from any garment, denim or otherwise. Besides, I'd be a fool to stop wearing them. Tight or no, they make my ass look sexy as hell.

Another Lazy Update

Randall Munroe is still a god.

Facebookers I'd like to punch in the face:

Specifically, the people who are sending around these idiotic 'forward this or get banned' messages. Just when I thought the monster was dead, it's come back in a new and surprisingly grammatically-correct form:

"It has come to our attention that some people are using facebook for purposes other than that for which it was intended. Certain people have been using software called "post bot". Therefore we will require that you forward this to all your friends. We will then log your account information to separate you from the people that are running automatic post bots on our site.

If you fail to forward this, it may mean that your account will be banned.

Thank You
Facebook Staff"

...No. Just, no. If you fell for this the first time, it's forgivable, but these have been going around for a long time now, and I think it should be obvious to anyone with a functioning brain stem that these messages are fake. There is not going to be any mass account purge on people who fail to send a chunk of text to all their friends. The reasons why have been explained time and again.

Furthermore, I've made a firm decision that from now on, whenever I receive one of these from someone, I'll be immediately removing them from my friends list. I don't care if we're classmates; I have enough stupidity in my life already, thank you very much.

Vloggalypse Now

So, I finally got my webcam going and recorded my first-ever video blog entry. I'd been putting it off thus far, but I finally have a few topics that warranted you actually being able to see me and the objects in my room. Plus, don't you want to hear my charming voice?



There may be more of these in the future, but not too soon.

The Internet is a Series of Cat Videos

Another Night At The Movies

So, I decided to do another b-movie review night, just for fun. Again, these reviews are really just for fun. I try to be informative, but B-movies are an acquired taste, and what I like isn't always going to be what you like. So, if you're thinking about seeing any of these movies, remember to take these reviews with a grain of salt. It's not dogma; it's just my opinion.

Now, for anyone who's too lazy to read through the whole thing, I'm going to start using a numbered rating system to sum-up my reviews. So, if you want to cut to the chase, just skip down to the rating at the end. The 0-5 scale works as follows:

5 = Awesome! I'm buying the dvd, baby!
4 = Really good. I'd see it again.
3 = Not bad. Worth watching at least once.
2 = Pretty weak. Not worth watching unless you're stoned.
1 = Awful. Don't even consider watching it.
0 = Burn it! For the love of god, burn it!

So, let's get to it then.

100 Million B.C.
The first movie I was going to watch was 100 Million B.C., but I have no review for it. The reason: I didn't watch the whole thing. I physically couldn't. The awful effects, bad writing and acting were survivable for a while, but once the T-rex super-jumped into the air and destroyed the helicopter in a fiery explosion, I just couldn't take it anymore.

Preemptive 0/5

Lost City Raiders:

Now, I know from experience that coming up with a good name for a new project can be difficult, so I really should be forgiving here, but... come on. Lost City Raiders? Gee, I wonder what it's about. Get it together, guys. You're not Snakes on a Plane (thank God for that). You can really do better.

Anyway, this movie is based on the premise that global warming continues unfettered and spirals out of control, until the world as we know it is all but gone. In 2048, some undersea explorers are on a mission to salvage what's left of their civilization from under the depths, hoping they can find a way to stop the rising ocean and save what's left of humanity. At the very least, I can say this is a movie that came out at the right time.

Story/Writing:

Only ten minutes in, I'm starting to really like this concept. It's like Waterworld meets Indiana Jones, but without the rugged hero. (I kid, Ian Somerhalder. I kid)

I thought most of the movie was fairly well written. Not Emmy material or anything, but par for the course. What impressed me was that it incorporated an interesting combination of geologic science with Catholic dogma. I get the feeling it was less than historically accurate, but it at least made for a good story, which I think is the more important goal.

The only part that really had me scratching my head was the ending. Aside from having a couple serious logical flaws, it was just way too corny, even by B-movie standards.

Acting:

Not fantastic, but no glaring issues I could see, either. The overall performance of the cast was, in a word, good enough.

...Well, okay, in two words.

Special Effects:

I think we all know that the people behind Sci-fi Originals aren't exactly swimming in cash, so it's unlikely this thing had a very good budget. That said, though, I thought they did a nice job with what they had. The set pieces were pretty nicely built, and the (sparsely used) cgi blended well with the live-action footage.

Editing/Production Value:

Well, the first thing that jumped out at me is that whoever edited this has a serious hard-on for slow motion shots. During the action sequences, slo-mo gets used and abused, usually at inappropriate places that add nothing to the scene. That and a few of the usual overdubbing issues kind of took me out of the experience at some points.

Final Thoughts:

Lost City Raiders is not a masterpiece. Were I in the shoes of the writer/director, there are a lot of things I would've done differently. But, that's not important. In my mind, the important thing is the answer to the following question:

Am I glad I watched it?

Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: The fairly unique premise for the story kept me interested throughout, and while I was somewhat disappointed by the ending, I definitely didn't see it coming. I wouldn't rush out to Blockbuster to see it again, but if you haven't seen it yet, and you happen to see that hopelessly awkward title in the TV Guide, I suggest you check it out. It's probably not good enough to warrant skipping the new episode of Eleventh Hour, but if there's nothing else on, it's definitely worth a watch.

Final Score: 3/5

RE: Reviews

Well, I finished the video I've been working on, but I think I should preface this with a little backstory.

I haven't talked about it yet, but I got No More Heroes recently. I absolutely love the game, despite its flaws. Its innovative and fun combat, mixed into a story full of colorful characters, make this a memorable gaming experience.

Now, I realize that's not exactly an in-depth game review, but I've decided once and for all that I am never going to attempt to write a real video game review for a game I've played. The logic behind this decision is pretty simple:

1. To begin with, from Ctrl-Alt-Del to ZeroPunctuation, from IGN to IrateGamer, from Gametrailers to GameLife, everyone and their mother thinks they can and should review games. The fact of the matter is, anyone who really wants to research a title before buying it does not need my opinion to help their decision. There is already plenty of information out there to help people with their gaming purchases. Doing my own game reviews would just be a waste of everyone's time. I'll draw the line at Sci-fi B-movies, but as for any other reviews, I want no part.


2. If I get into reviewing games, or even B-movies, on a regular basis, I'll start to trick myself into thinking anyone gives a fuck about my opinion. What's worse, this will quickly inflate my ego and turn me into yet another irate, overly-opinionated jackass. If my time on the Internet has proven anything to me, it's that we already have more than enough of those.


3. Honestly, I have no objectivity when it comes to gaming. Gaming is in my blood; I've been addicted since the original NES days of my innocent youth. As such, I'm in love with all things gaming, and I'm often unable to see the inherent flaws in the things I love. Hell, this shouldn't be news to you. You know me: I never got an original playstation, but I loved my used Sega Saturn. I never wanted to try Devil May Cry, but I thought God Hand was a gift from above. I reject Final Fantasy, and I still think Baten Kaitos is the greatest RPG franchise of our time. So, clearly, I'm in no position to tell other people what's good and what's bad.

Anyway, with that said, I really enjoyed No More Heroes, and I liked it enough to make a new music video out of it. There might be some minor spoilers, but nothing that should ruin it for anyone who hasn't played it yet. You should be aware, though, that the game is M-rated, so if you have problems with seeing blood or partial nudity, I suggested you suck it up, you big pussy.

As usual, the music is from Bullets and Octane. Rock on, my brothers and sisters.

On Mental Illness

A topic I am overqualified to discuss. I'll just let you know, I've increased my medication recently. There haven't been any very obvious effects yet. I'll keep you posted.

Anyway, I was just thinking, why do people always think I'm crazy just because I talk to myself? That's just wrong. I mean, I am crazy, but that's besides the point. Talking to yourself doesn't make you crazy. It just means you like to hear what you're thinking out loud. Scientists do it all the time.

So, to clear up the confusion, here's a simple reminder. The next time you see someone talking alone, consult this list.
If they are...

• talking to themselves,

--- They are not crazy. In fact, they're probably smarter than you.


• talking to someone who isn't there,

--- They're crazy, but probably not dangerous.


• talking to an animal,

--- See above.


• talking to someone inside their own head, and that person is talking back,

--- Run. Fast.

I'm Not Dead

Just letting you know, you know? I haven't really posted since there isn't much going on right now. I'm trying to keep up with my schoolwork, so my life is pretty boring right now. Plus, I've been really bummed out since I missed that Halloween party. On the bright side, I do have another music video in the works. More on that whenever I finish it.

Also, I want this mp3:

This is the Best News Ever

I got my absentee ballot in the mail today. I voted for Bob Barr. No, that's not the news, but I thought I'd mention it.

No, the big news is this: YouTube has officially added audio previews for comments. Yes! This has been suggested many times in many forms by many different people, but I never thought I'd see the day that it gets implemented. This is fantastic. Now, when people go posting comments on my videos, they'll first click audio preview, and something like this will happen:



(Congrats go to Randall Munroe. He called it)

Tropic Thunder Was Really Good

Just saw it over the weekend. I think that's all I have to say about it for now. My parents canceled their internet provider after their computer broke, so I was Internetless for a good 5 days. Oh, what withdrawals I've been having.

Of course, everything cool always happens while I'm gone. Even Urban Dead updated for the first time in months. No doubt, all my characters are dead by now. Well, at least Mice Hunt keeps running while I'm gone.

Now, I have an episode of House to watch. Peace, my homies.

RE: American Family

American Family: A Rant

Some of the stuff I was reading for sociology really got my blood a'boilin', so I just really want to get this out of my system. Pass it on if you agree with me.

If you know me at all, you probably know I come from a happy (albeit mentally unstable) family. My parents have been together over 25 years. By now, they've discovered pretty much every possible way to piss one another off. They also know how to forgive and forget, how to work things out and do what's best for the family. They know how to think about more than just themselves; to remember that through thick and thin, come hell or high water, they are in this together to the end. They also apparently remember that every good fight deserves good makeup sex. Ew. :x

That said, it amazes me how many people are still getting divorced these days. And it's not even the divorce itself that pisses me off; it's the constant bickering and fighting that continues afterward. Take custody battles: how often do the parents in these situations actually fight for custody of their kids simply because they love them and want to be a part of their lives? Not often, as far as I've seen. Many divorced couples will squabble with each other in lengthy legal battles over the kids purely because they ran out of other shit to fight over. Seriously, are these people aware that their kids are living, breathing things? This is not a car or a record collection you people are fighting over; they're people.

Guys, listen carefully to me: at his core, a real man should do more than look out for #1. A real man looks after himself and his own. A real man cares for his family no matter what. Now, if you got divorced and fought for custody of your kids because you thought that was what's best for them, and because you love them and care about their well-being and their future, then you are a real man. If you fought over custody of your kids just to fuck with your ex-wife, you are not a man. Pull your head out of your ass and grow the fuck up.

In Sociology class right now, we're talking about the changing definition of a family in America. Now, to me, a family has always meant the same thing: it's a group of people who love and take care of one another. A divorced couple locked in a lengthy custody battle for the ultimate title of biggest ego is not a family; it is a couple of selfish pricks with exploited, neglected kids who will most likely grow up to be either arsonists or pedophiles.

Then comes the whole child support thing. Frankly, I think the system is broken. It was probably based on a good idea, but now it's just a tool for ex-wives to torment their ex-husbands with. How often does that money even go to the kids? Not often enough, as far as I can tell. Many divorced dads still spend time with their kids, too, buying them clothes and gifts, taking them shopping or out to dinner and so on. Does any of that count toward their mandatory "child support"? Fuck no, it doesn't. Why? Because, according to judges, those expenses were "voluntary", and thus don't count toward their mandatory support payments. If that previous sentence makes logical sense to you, please go slam you head in a car door.

All I want to know is, what the fuck happened to good old families in America? I'm not even saying it has to be a wife, a husband, two kids, a dog and a white picket fence. I'm just saying, people need to look out for each other. When you get married, it's no longer just about you; it's about 'us'. That's what marriage was invented for. Unfortunately, so many people ignore the meaning of the vows they arbitrarily take when they get married. For most, I think comedian Corey Holcomb's vows are more appropriate.

We are gathered here today to unite this fool's bank account into this woman's possession. If there is anybody here who thinks they can talk some sense into this fool, let him speak now or forever say it behind their back.

Do you, fool, promise to make this woman out to be everything she ain't, until hatred, loss of appetite and depression do you part?

How about you, young lady? Do you promise to show this fool what an angry woman, and a corrupt child support system to do to somebody's self-esteem?

Then, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you future enemies.

I am psyched

Seriously.



October 29th can't come fast enough.

You'll Go Blind Doing That...

So, I've been playing with my Wii. The only real game I have for it right now, aside from WiiSports/WiiPlay which really don't count, is Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Awesome game, but I feel a bit silly with this being the only Wii game I play. It's on the Wii, but it doesn't use any of the Wii motion-sensing abilities. Which, to me, feels like owning a Ferrari and sitting in the driveway listening to the radio. I mean, if all you want is a radio, there's a more cost-efficient way to go about it.

I don't even use the Wii controls for Brawl; I use a gamecube controller. Now, for those of you who have never owned a Wii or closely inspected one, you might not know that on the top, there are two little plastic covers. These open up to reveal a black panel with a set of controller ports and memory card ports for the Gamecube. I think most Wii owners can attest to the fact that this discovery surprised the hell out of them the first time they hooked the system up. Being a stark contrast to the console's white exterior, it kind of looks like they took a black Gamecube and magically jammed it into a little white box.

Here's something else you might not know: those little white covers break off very easily. I found that out the hard way. Actually, they're supposed to come off, and are designed to do so, but when they do, it makes a bone-chilling snapping sound. Believe me, that's not a sound you want to hear coming from your $200 game console, especially if you're like me and didn't bother to mail in the warranty card.

Peoplewatching Tip

Seriously, Zach Weiner is a friggin' genius.

Jack Thompson Got Disbarred

Ah, sweet justice. Just goes to show you, if you piss off enough people for long enough, sooner or later somebody is going to smack you in the mouth. Figuratively, of course.

(Read the full article here)
---

In a four-page written order, the Florida Supreme Court today affirmed a referee's recommendation to permanently disbar controversial Miami attorney Jack Thompson.

The action, which takes effect in 30 days, means that Thompson will no longer be licensed to practice law and may not apply for reinstatement. Ever.

In citing a litany of offenses, the Court noted Thompson's extensive pattern of misconduct and cited a "complete lack of remorse." The Court also quoted extensively from the June, 2008 report of Judge Dava Tunis, who served as referee at Thompson's November, 2007 trial on charges brought by the Florida Bar:

In her report, the referee states: Over a very extended period of time involving a number of totally unrelated cases and individuals, [r]espondent has demonstrated a pattern of conduct to strike out harshly, extensively, repeatedly and willfully to simply try to bring as much difficulty, distraction and anguish to those he considers in opposition to his causes.

He does not proceed within the guidelines of appropriate professional behavior, but rather uses other means available to intimidate, harass, or bring public disrepute to those whom he perceives oppose him.

Noting that "The Court concludes that the facts, as even more extensively detailed in the referee's report, support the referee's numerous recommendations as to guilt," the justices of the Florida Supreme Court affirmed Thompson's offenses as delineated by Judge Tunis.

Some of these include findings that Thompson made false statements and accusations, repeatedly harassed those he considered opponents, and, while falsely accusing others of "the criminal distribution of sexual materials to minors," himself attached pornography to court filings.
...

The Court also upheld a fine of $43,675 against Thompson...

Ouch.

Let's Play A Game...

Watch this video. If you laugh, you lose.

Gaming Haze

Just thought I'd post, since I haven't in a while. My general rule of thumb is, if I have to log in to Blogger again because the 'keep me logged in' cookie has expired, it's probably been too long. Unfortunately, I don't have much to say right now. It's just school as usual.

I did finally buy Super Smash Bros. Brawl, though. I've been enjoying it a lot, though I've basically reached the point where it's really only fun in multiplayer. I mean, I could keep collecting all the trophies and stuff, but that seems like an awful lot of effort for not much payout. Once you've beaten Subspace Emissary and you've got all the characters and stages, what's the point?

Aside from that, though, I have continued looking over my retro game collection. I played Resident Evil 4 again for the hell of it, and considered playing Tales of Symphonia because there are a few side quests I never discovered. Besides, I'm probably not going to be buying Tales of the Abyss or whatever the new one for the PS3 is. Although, that would be more reason for me to get a PS3, the primary one being Mercenaries 2. I've heard it's not as good as the original, but I'm kind of a fanboy, and besides, how bad could it be? It's still Mercenaries.

Alright, I guess that's enough rambling to constitute a post. Later, lovers.

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Geneology - Descendants

So, I just visited Cracked.com

25 Most Disturbing Sex Toys

...Oh, God. I need a shower.

Something Old, Something New

What's new with me? I'm tired. I have the worst sleeping habits when I'm in college. Oh, wait, that's not really new, is it?

I don't know what it is, but something about the college atmosphere is just really conducive to staying up late and taking naps in the daytime. I think part of the problem is that damn loft bed. Once I'm up there, it takes a serious effort to get up. I can't just "roll out of bed," unless I develop a death wish. If I want to get out of bed, I have to move down to the foot of the bed and over the side like I'm climbing out of a tree house.

Also, to the good men and women of the SUNYIT Facilities Dept., if you're reading this, get your asses to L4 and pick up this extra furniture already. I swear, someone really screwed up when they set the schedule for this furniture pick-up business. The time was pretty specific (between 9am and 12:30pm), but the dates were basically "Beginning on Sept. 2nd, until whenever the hell we get around to it."

Other than that, I've kind of been reexamining the retro gaming classics of my youth. After acquiring the soundtrack to Mr. Bones, I was struck with the urge to make a music video. That might sound strange, unless you realize that the music in Mr. Bones was done by Ronnie Montrose, a legend of the blues world. Even longtime fans of his think Mr. Bones was one of his best albums.

Anyway, you can decide for yourself. I made this video to go with The First Thing, which in my opinion is one of the most beautiful pieces of music I've ever heard. So, without further ado, take a soulful trip with me down memory lane:



(Note: If you buy the soundtrack, the version of this song on the cd is instrumental only. For the video, I kept the version with the voice-over from the game.)

This Just In (Albeit A Little Late)

Given the choice, I would probably kill you and your whole family in exchange for a PS3 and a copy of this game.

1,150 Things Mr. Welch Can No Longer Do During An RPG

I don't know who originally wrote all of this (probably a collaborative effort), but I found it here:
http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html

I don't think I have space enough to post the whole document, but here are a few select favorites of mine:

1. Cannot base characters off the Who's drummer Keith Moon.
24. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales.
28. The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip.
73. Not allowed to name my cudgel Ceremonial Whoopass Stick.
178. There are no profanities in Celestial.
214. There is no prestige class Drizzt Slayer.
219. In formal introductions to royalty, I must not introduce my companions as just "The Other Guys".
224. I cannot insinuate elf chicks are all easy, even though you never hear about a half gnome do you?
243. Cannot cast haste on the king during a long winded speech to get him to hurry the hell up.
260. Gnomes do not have a racial bonus in bobsled.
272. No skill allows specializing in defenestration.
299. I do not get any XP for anyone I kill by stampeding sheep.
301. "Well Hung" is not a physical, social or mental trait.
330. The Halfling Paladin does not represent the Lollipop Guild.
374. I am not to combine the advantage Fearless and the disadvantage Curious in the same character again.
378. I can cannot give my character the moniker "Tim the Barbarian". Especially since he's the bard.
384. The titles "Viking" and "Obstretrician" are mutually exclusive.
409. I will not cast darkness at the magic missile.
412. I will not try to skip to the main boss dressed like a singing telegram.
419. Spankings generally will not change evil alignments.
461. Tasha's Uncontrollably Hideous Sister is not a real spell.
467. There is no 'accidentally' slipping a Smite Evil into a pillow fight.
481. I am forbidden from doing anything that ends with a snarf, rimshot or spit take.
484. If the word 'Mullet' appears anywhere on my samurai's character sheet, he's vetoed.
486. No how tough the encounter was, I will keep the congratulatory ass slapping to a minimum.
487. Halfing mating rituals do not include beer can crushing, power belching, or Lynyrd Skynyrd trivia.
502. If my name isn't Grimlock, can't start every sentence with "Me Grimlock"
510. After a bloody battle, I will not celebrate by lying down and making carnage angels.
544. I will not cast Gate to bind an infernal creature of power to my bidding and make him mow the lawn.
588. Paladins are immune to STDs, but if I take advantage of this ability, I lose it. Wonderful paradox, isn't it?
593. Tensor's Herniated Disc is not a real spell.

Okay, that's enough of that for now. Go read the rest if you want, but I'm out.

Most Stressful Job Ever

No, this isn't a Price Chopper flashback. I just had to share this. Watch:

Let There Be Rock

Well, I got to go to the concert yesterday. I didn't buy the tickets until the day of, meaning ordinary lawn seats were $45 each. God help you if you wanted orchestra seating up front. Actually, I ended up getting 4 tickets, since the special 4-pack actually ended up being cheaper than 3 tickets. Besides myself, I got my sister and cousin to come with me for company. They weren't too enthused at first, but ended up having more fun than I did. I, of course, can't divulge the details of that fun, as it would be breaking sibling code. I don't rat on them for doing things that are illegal at their age, and they don't ask what's in those big black trash bags I hid in the basement.



Anyway, Crue Fest was pretty sweet. The bands involved were, in order of appearance, Trapt, Sixx AM, Papa Roach, Buckcherry, and Motley Crue (or, if your prefer, Mötley Crüe). I had mixed feelings about the earlier acts. Frankly, I think Sixx AM sucks, plain and simple. I've got nothing against emo rock in general, but I think if you're going to pour your heart out in your lyrics and make yourself sound like a whiny, overly emotional puss, you could at least write some halfway decent music to go with it. For example, see Three Days Grace, or if you're really feeling adventurous, My Chemical Romance.

Trapt and Papa Roach were okay. But of course, Buckcherry kicked all their asses, as I knew they would. Buckcherry just has a charisma and connection with the audience that most bands can't match. A lot of people ended up without shirts on once they started playing Crazy Bitch.

But, of course, the boys of Motley Crue stole the whole damn show. The guys are getting a little old, but they still know how to have a good time. Tommy Lee is a character, and Mick Mars is still an absolute beast on the guitar. Watching him shred actually gives me a hard-on. Or maybe it was all the half-naked women licking each other on the video screen. Meh, I'll say it was both.

The one kink in the show was Vince's voice. Somehow, they messed with the audio equipment in order to offset the obvious effects of old age on his voice, so he would still sound how he used to. Good idea on paper. The unfortunate result was that he ended up sounding like Foamy the Squirrel. It's sad, considering how perfect he sounds on the new album. Maybe it was just a one-time fluke with SPAC's equipment, but whether it was intentional or not, it was weird to listen to. Anyway, it wasn't a deal-breaker for me. Vince's animated onstage performance and signature style more than made up for it.

Of course, like most rocks shows, much of the real show was going on in the audience. A lot of people were safe and sound in the orchestra seating, but we were up top on the lawn, right in the middle of the madness. Pretty much everyone there was either drunk, stoned or both. Beach balls and lighters were flying throughout. At least a dozen fights broke out, wherein the SPAC security got to demonstrate how bad at their job they really are. One guy actually got his nose broken, but was too drunk to even realize it. And this was all just halfway into Papa Roach's set. By the time Crue came on stage, there were devil horns and body surfers as far as the eye could see. Things only slowed down for the encore: a spirited rendition of Home Sweet Home, during which there wasn't a dry eye to be seen.

Once it was over, the ride home was obviously a madhouse. We sat waiting in line to get out of the parking lot for about 45 minutes, give or take. We ended up getting home around 12:30pm. That probably doesn't sound to bad, until you consider that we got there at 4pm, and the show started around 5. That's one mother of a concert.

So, all in all, Crue Fest was a very fun experience, and I'm glad I got to go. Before the show ended, Nikki Sixx gave his promise that we'd meet up again next year for Crue Fest 2. I don't know how official that is, but if it's true, you can guess who'll be buying his tickets ahead of time next year.

Now, in other rock news:
Ratner Pitching Guitar Hero Film
God help us all...

It's Done

My God Hand music video is finished. This thing's been on the back burner for a while, but I finally got enough clips to finish it. I had to change my original vision a bit, but I'm still very pleased with how it came out. I consider this to be my crowning achievement in video editing. So, you'd better have nothing but positive feedback for it. Considering I made the whole thing on a laptop with nothing but Windows Movie Maker, I'd say I did pretty damn well.

And now without further ado, here's the video, featuring music by Bullets and Octane. Bow down and worship, you pathetic mortals.

Movin' On Up

I just moved my stuff into my suite today. It's pretty cool by college housing standards. I have pretty much the best desk ever conceived. Photos will follow once I've finished breaking it in.

My roommates seem okay. I haven't met one of them yet, but I doubt he could possibly offset Justin's coolness. Dude looks like me back when I had long hair. Only better looking. And he's got a girlfriend. And he's not a CS student. So, basically, he looks kind of like me, but is cooler in every possible way.

Anyway, the only real downer so far is I'll be in a lofted bed for the first time since freshmen year. It's no big deal, but on warm nights, the top bunk can get pretty hot. Warm air rises, you know.

So, that's about all for now. More relevant information will follow when I feel like it.

Breaking the Chain

Some of you may remember a little chain letter on Facebook a while back, claiming to be from "Founder of Facebook Mark Zuckerber". Well, it seems to be back, this time appearing in my message inbox. I don't blame the guy who sent it to me, but clearly we didn't raise enough awareness the first time.

Let me just make it clear: If you get this message, delete it. Don't forward it. If you forward it, you will be taunted and ridiculed with extreme prejudice. The message is fake, and everyone knows it. I myself logically proved it in the past. I refer you to Exhibit A.

So, let me just say that, if you forward this thing to anyone at all, you are either an idiot, a sadist, or both. While I'm normally a very forgiving person, if I get this message again, I'm going to bring back the Serial Killer app and make good use of it. You don't know fear until you've seen what a pissed off nerd can do to your Notifications page.

A Social Experiment: Please Join

Dystopia: Come for the legalized marijuana. Stay for the insight.

Have you ever been annoyed with the government and how they run things? Think you could do better? Here's a chance to find out.

Dystopia is a fictional nation. The government is almost purely democratic, with all its laws and policies being chosen by the general populous. Whatever the people decide, it is law. So, if you're a citizen, you have a very direct say in how the country is run. The country is still in its infancy, so there's no telling what kind of nation it could become.

I Hate Schenectady

And Mondays. And broken traffic signals. And some other things I can't think of right now.

I got asked to work yesterday, and I said yes, even though it's a route I've never done before, and since then have vowed to never do again. Aside from the 3 hours of hell that started it, I think the highlight/lowlight of this past Monday was a little crash I had with a van at a screwed up intersection in downtown Schenectady. I happened to have my phone with me at the time and snapped a picture. See if you can spot the scratch on the side.



The side mirror actually was knocked right off and sent flying in through the window. It may have hit me in the head. We're not sure.



I'm more or less okay, but I don't think my car will be drivable for a while, if ever again. Only time and the guys at Fogg's Automotive will tell.