Thursday, June 25, 2009

Re: America, F@#k yeah!

On my last rant post, I talked about moving to another country. I know that's probably not something that should be thrown around too lightly. To tell you the truth, I was in a pretty rotten mood that day to begin with.

Anyway, the way President Obama has been responding to criticism of the US approach to Iran and the healthcare reform plan the last few days, I think maybe we're going to be okay. Maybe it's silly, but it puts my mind at ease to know the most powerful man in our government has America's future at heart. The fundamentals of the economy might not be perfect, but the fundamentals of the American spirit haven't been shaken. I guess I was just a little too short-sighted to feel that way; national pride never was a big thing for me anyway. But then, pride in general never was. I'm kind of a pessimist, if you hadn't noticed.

To sum up, I guess I won't be buying that one-way ticket anytime soon. I'll probably bitch and moan quite a bit, but nothing so drastic as that. I know some people aren't fond of anti-America talk, but if anything it shows I'm still an American at heart. I don't sit back and accept crap from my government. They're supposed to represent me; I expect them all to take their jobs seriously. Right now, I trust Obama to take us in the right direction. Now, if our senators and governors would just follow suit...

Social Theory, and Beating People with Sticks

No, the two topics are not related.

I have two kind of random things to talk about tonight. Firstly, while discussing this healthcare business with my family, I became very frustrated. Things were especially weird toward the beginning of President Obama's televised discussion group thingy that was on ABC around 10 o'clock. The way we discussed it during the first commercial break, it felt like my mom and I were talking about two different pieces of video.

I realized this kind of thing happens a lot, so I thought, hey, could there be something to this? Or is my mom just as dumb as a post? I'd like to think she's not, so to explore this business, I started a little theoretical research project for myself (and Hubpages, since I haven't posted there in a while), regarding the subjectivity of reality:

Is reality subjective?

If anyone has an opinion, or better yet some evidence or personal experience to help me with this project, please let me know. You can post a comment here, answer at Hubpages, message me on Facebook, or email me. To anyone interested in helping out, thanks in advance.

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Okay, second: I was thinking, our generation really needs a new sport. I'm not really a sports guy, per-se. I've played some golf, and I was a madman at bowling in high school, but I don't really have a sport to love and call my own. So, I thought, what kinds of things do I like to do that don't involve physical activity, but could? Well, how about pwning the crap out of some noobs?

That's when I got this idea. People like to play fantasy fighting games on videogame consoles and the Internet, but the experience is still kind of artificial. To really get the blood flowing, why not make a real-world equivalent? I'd be kind of like LARPing, but without all the nerdy crap.

The original inspiration for this came a long time ago. A friend of mine from high-school once invited me to join this game of capture the flag with him and his friends. What made this game cool was that we all were equipped with wooden swords and hockey sticks and the like. When encountering members of the opposite team, an exciting battle took place. The first to get hit lost the fray; if you were on opposing turf, you had to go back to your home base to "respawn," and losers on their own turf would have to kneel for 20 seconds before rejoining the game. Good fun and excitement to be had, but no serious danger involved. Okay, I did kind of get my kidney crushed when one guy did this epic leap over me to escape certain doom, but otherwise it was a lot of fun.

So, deriving from what made that game awesome, here's my idea: a new sport of fantasy fighting with artificial weapons. Everyone plays quick and fierce like a real fight, but no one gets seriously injured. Although I'd plan many different kinds of matches, the main event would be simple one-on-one fights. Players score points by getting a successful hit on their opponent. Then, of course, we'd have variants of that; ie, first to 5 points wins, most points in 60 seconds wins, etc.

I figure we could take it further than that, too. We could divide it up into beginner, intermediate and expert ranks (with cooler names than that, of course. The expert rank would probably be called Elite or Master or something). For beginners, all weapons would be light plastic or foam, and points would only be awarded for hits on the torso or arms (to make things less vicious), and you couldn't hit someone while they're down like in boxing. For the experts, wooden weapons would be allowed, and all manner of crazy tactics like leg sweeps and down attacks would be permitted. Groin shots? Not encouraged, but they'll still count, so if you want to join the expert ranks, wear a cup. And of course the intermediate rank(s) would fall somewhere in between kiddie-time and anything-goes.

Those are just some of the preliminary notes. I'm thinking that once I've got a working plan, I'll set up a fun tournament or something and host it at Indian Meadows Park down the way from my house. That way the BHBL alumni can come have some fun on summer break. If that's successful (and even if it's not really) I'll bring the concept to SUNYIT in the fall. I don't know exactly how much interest there is for this, but I'm better if I provide some of my own weaponry, people will show up. Come on, it's an excuse to hit people with sticks!

Again, if this business tickles your fancy, please drop me an email, message me on Facebook or comment here. I'll get back to you, we can discuss particulars, and maybe set up some kind of event to try it out.

That's about it for now. Stay cool, readers.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Does anyone know what this song in the Howard Johnson commercial is called or where it came from? I get some kind of weird contact high whenever I hear it. Some people say it has subliminal messages in it or something. I'm not sure that's true, but I wouldn't rule it out.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Re: the Government

Now that I think of it, that post about the Obama action figure was probably a little late coming. Obamania isn't exactly what it used to be. I think I kind of missed the boat on that one.

My parents seem to outright dislike Obama. I agree that his handling of the economy has been less than excellent. I think he's got some good ideas, but bailing out those failing companies was all wrong. Helping the guys who helped get us into this mess really won't make things any better. We need more work programs to create jobs and improve our cities' infrastructures.

Oh, and it wouldn't kill us to put a little more effort into this 'clean, renewable energy source' that sci-fi writers have been dangling over our heads since before I was born. Have we completely given up on solar, wind or even nuclear power? We've got state-of-the-art military weapon systems that can execute a surgical strike and wipe an enemy stronghold off the map from 3000 miles away without even messing up the lawns in the surrounding civilian areas, yet we still can't generate electricity without burning fossil fuels.

We have the capability of bringing about the energy revolution. I don't understand why this crap is allowed to continue. I mean, is everyone in charge of this stuff really that dense? Or are we just too set in our ways to do anything good for mankind?

You know, this is a rotten time in my life, because it's seriously hard to tell how my depression is doing. I can't tell if I'm miserable because of a medical condition or because the world is falling apart all around me, could easily be fixed with a little time and effort, and everyone who has the ability to do anything about it is too god damn stupid to get their priorities straight.

By the way, since I haven't mentioned it in a while, I'm still working on my plans to take over the world. I might as well; humanity is too stupid to take of itself. If I controlled the world under a single government, at least we'd have half a chance in hell of surviving as a species. With the people we've got running things now, we're screwed. Obama's a decent leader, but congress is still full of idiots, and state governments are like a 3-ring circus, especially here in New York.

Seriously, do Senators these days give a shit about anything but politics anymore? We're in serious need of more jobs, more money, better regulation in just about everything, but all these idiots care about is whose party gets to have the majority. Who gives a shit? Do what you were elected to do and support your constituents. I've seen high school mock senates who worked better. You're supposed to be working for your state, for your district, for your people. You're not there to push your own agenda and the agenda of whatever party you identify with. The position of senator is supposed to be a position worthy of courtesy and respect. Act like it, you babies!

Alright, I'm through. As soon as I'm able, I'm moving to Sweden. Or Finland. Or Mars if the option becomes available. The further I get away from people and government, the happier I'll be.

Unless, of course, I do manage to take over the world. At least then I'll be able to sleep at night. The world might still be going to hell, but I'll finally be in a position to do something about it.

Friday, June 19, 2009

\m/ - Fucillo Freakout - \m/

For those who don't know, Billy Fucillo is a car dealer operating in the central New York area. Apparently he's pretty well off, since he can afford to buy a lot of air time. He comes out with a new crappy home-made commercial every week. Originally, he always did his ads with his spokesman buddy Tom Parks. Tom's usually kind of dry to listen to, but it turns out he can rock a guitar.

The commercials are bad, but at least Tom makes an effort to keep things professional. When Billy goes to town on his own, it's a scary affair.

His latest gimmick is to use his new employee Caroline as a glorified car model. She's in the commercials, but has few or no lines, and pretty much always wears something low-cut. I'm not saying it's on purpose, but it's safe to say when the commercial comes on, you won't be fixing your eyes on Billy's greasy forehead.

Now me, I miss Tom. Some of Fucillo's best ads featured enjoyable (albeit badly improvised) banter between Tom and Billy, Tom playing guitar, or just Tom by himself. In fact, the less we have to see of Billy in these commercials the better.

He has his own what?!

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Really? We're so stricken with Obamania now that the dude gets his own action figure? I don't see too many other presidents who can boast that, let alone boast it less than six months into their first term.

...Okay, seriously, I have to have one of these. :D

Thursday, June 11, 2009

You're gonna love my nuts

Sorry, couldn't help it.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

The North River Lodge

I've started this little project for my buddies at UDPB, but I'm inviting everyone to join in.

The North River Lodge

What is this, you ask? Basically, it's a forum-based role-playing game. Players will be in the roles of contestants competing in a dangerous game to win tens of millions of dollars. It's going to be full of unexpected surprises, and in all likelihood most characters won't live to see the end of the game.

If this sounds interesting to you, head over to the UDPB forum, then sign up by responding to the above thread in the RP board. If possible, give a nice description and back-story for your character, and choose what skills if any they'll have. (You can do this later if you prefer)

So, what do you say? Have the nerve for it?

Friday, June 05, 2009

This made me happy

I don't know how I missed this episode the first time around. God bless the YouTube.