Saturday, February 24, 2007

Smackdown vs. RAW 2007 - Special Challenge

Something new I just found after completing the legend challenges in SvR07: They have an additional Special Challenge section. There's only one challenge, but damn, it's messed up. How messed up is it, you ask? Well, this is what it is:

The challenge was apparently meant for testing out the new characters in the game. The match is a one-on-one match, apparently set to Legend difficulty, though it's hard to tell the difference sometimes between Hard and Legend. The match pits Mickie James, a 5-foot-4-inch, 124-pound female wrestler, against The Great Khali, a 7-foot-3, 420-pound freak of nature. You play as Mickie James. Yeah, you're pretty much fucked.

I can't help but think, what kind of sick freak came up with this? It sounds like the kind of match I'd make. Hell, the first couple times I tried, I failed the challenge because I was laughing too hard at the notion of Mickie James having her fragile feminine frame broken in half by that monster. There were some times, though, when even I had a hard time enjoying it. Don't get me wrong, I love unwarranted violence against pixelated women. But some things in wrestling games, like Khali punching a 124-pound woman in the kidneys, are just too sick and warped to watch. Thank God it was only a game. If I had to watch something like that in real life, I think even my stomach would turn at the sight of it.

However, thanks to my skill and clever tactics, I did succeed at beating Khali and completing the challenge. It took me at least 6 tries, but I did it. If anyone ever wants tips on how to complete the most ridiculously twisted challenge in the game that has no rewards whatsoever, just ask and I'd be happy to help.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Congratulations, Schunk. (A Facebook Wall repost)

Hey, Schunk. Nice going with the title belts. I just wanted to personally congratulate you on beating me for the first time ever in fair 1-on-1 competition. Sure, you had to use Kurt Angle, the most grossly overpowered character in the game, but still, I commend you on your victory.

Also, you're welcome. I'm glad I decided to go easy on you so you could have your few minutes of glory. But I think playtime is now over. You've had your laughs, and I've had mine. Next time we meet in the ring, I'll be taking my titles back, and you can take that to the bank.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

When you laugh at stuff like this...

That's how you know you're a geek, and all your hopes of fitting in with normal society were just a sad illusion.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Just a friendly reminder that Schunk is a bitch

I get pulled out of the cafeteria right when I'm going to eat. This joker insists that I have to come over and play Smackdown vs. RAW with this guy he knows from the lacrosse team. In the end, though, it just turned into me and Schunk playing while the other guy watched.

Regardless of what Schunk might tell you, I decidedly crushed him, and I have a witness. It was a 15 minute Ironman match, in which he spent most of his time outside the ring because he's afraid to get pinned. I was playing JBL, Schunk was playing Eddie Guerrero. Obviously, he was doomed from the start. Everyone knows JBL was the one who took the title from Eddie back in the day and held onto it for almost a whole year. This time wasn't much different. Schunk tried to stay in character by lying, cheating and stealing throughout the match, but it was no use.

In the end, I beat him 4 pins to 3. I still think I could have done much better, but for some reason Submission had been turned off for the match, which disappointed me to no end. I was really looking forward to making him tap.

Naturally, Schunk tried to make himself look good with a shallow victory afterward. He initiated a Money in the Bank ladder match, in which there would be 4 other guys beside him that I'd have to deal with. I didn't win the match, but neither did Schunk. After that, he started an Elimination Chamber match, and kept to his usual cowardly tactics of hiding in the corner while I had to deal with 2 or 3 other guys at once. I ended up getting pinned after the CPU Shawn Michaels got a lucky finisher. After that, Schunk just wandered around pinning everyone who got randomly knocked out, and he officially took the match.

So, to sum up, I'm still the man, and Schunk is still a bitch who always begs for 6-man matches like MitB and Elimination Chamber because he knows he can't beat me one on one. I know it, he knows it, and now that guy in Chapagne knows it:

There can be only one... Wrestling God!

Valentine's Day Discussion

(Again, this was something I originally posted on a forum, then decided to post here. Topics brought up included: Is love real? Is love just sexual attraction? Can animals feel love? Isn't Valentine's Day overcommericalized? Couldn't love just be a biological process that could potentially be bottled and sold? At least, those are the ones I talk about here.)

(This should also make my roommate happy, since I'm finally mentioning him)

Valentine's Day is really just another day for me. This year, I basically slept through the whole thing because it's cold and snowy, so all my classes got cancelled. My roommate did the same. He actually tells me he has a curse associated with Valentine's Day. Though he's been reasonably successful in his social life, he's always alone on Valentine's Day. He's even had girls break up with him on the 13th and get back together with him on the 15th or 16th just to keep the curse going. It's kind of funny and sad at the same time, but he takes it in stride. I have to give him credit for that.

Back to me. I'm a loner. I've never really gotten very close to anyone. I've had one girlfriend in my entire life, and she's now my ex. I refer to her as The Ex. We don't talk about The Ex. Anyway, though I'm really not experienced in such things, I believe love is a real thing. Animals feeling love? I don't know, but if the ape can learn sign language, it's probably smart enough to at least think it loves something. I also believe love goes deeper than mere sexual urges. We love our family members, don't we? For most of us, there's no sexual urges there. Maybe I'm just a lonely slob who's deluding himself, but I believe love is real, and that two people can have a serious emotional connection that has nothing to do with sex. Of course, given the choice, I'd probably go for someone who I can connect with on a deep emotional level who also happens to be smoking hot.

Is Valentine's Day overcommercialized? Yes, but what major holiday isn't these days? Can love really be just a chemical reaction in our brains that could one day be bottled and sold? Probably, but that's the case for pretty much any human emotion. Our brain operates on chemical reactions, so of course certain chemicals will change how we think and feel. I don't think bottling love will be any replacement for the real thing though. If a chemical can be an effective replacement for actual love toward a real person, then by that logic, masturbation is just as good as sex.

Then again, who am I to talk?

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Defying Physics

Not the laws. Just the class. I hate physics. It all seems so useless to me, and I don't like the fact that most of it now is just applied Calculus, which I also hate. Also, Ke, or 1/4*pi*Epsilon-whatever, is an evil constant that I keep having to look up for these equations. I think it's ridiculous that I'm expected to work with such a number on a regular basis. Furthermore, I believe that anyone who can actually memorize that constant should be shot purely on principle.

...wait a minute... 8.9875x10^9 N*m^2/C^2

...Dear God, I even remember the units now. Someone please shoot me.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

The Product of a Discussion about Racial Stereotypes at 4am

(Taken directly from the thread. Some of the stuff at the end won't make sense to non-Proboarders)

I don't know why anyone takes stereotyping seriously. Stereotypes are right sometimes, but not often.

For example, it's a fact that the Japanese have serious repressed sexual issues, but that's only for the ones actually born and raised in Japan.

Bad driving? Please, everyone on the planet thinks they're a good driver. As it is, at least 80% of the human race sucks at driving. Probably more. Considering Asians take up a decent chunk of that, being that they're part of the human race, it's understandable how the stereotype came about. Of course, that doesn't mean none of them can drive. I'd draw you a Venn Diagram, but I'm a little too tired for that right now.

Small penis? Hell, I don't know. It could be genetic, or maybe something in the food. It sure doesn't mean it's true for all of them. Hell, there are probably plenty of black guys who have to deal with the disappointed look on their date's face when they get back to the apartment. I'm sure there are plenty of asians hung like horses. Granted, I've never seen any of them, but I don't really want to either.

So, don't get caught up in the nonsense. Everyone is unique. Hey, I'm white. I've never dated an Asian girl (though I wouldn't mind). I've never enslaved anyone or taken over their land. I don't care for hunting or NASCAR. I can't get a job to save my life. I've listened to both rap and rock in my day, and enjoyed both. I'd talk about the size of my manhood, but that could get really awkward really fast. In fact, it already has, hasn't it? Damn...

Oh, and the Italian thing: I'm not even loosely affiliated with the mafia. Most people don't find me attractive, though they agree I have great hair. The ladies in my family don't have any more hair than is considered normal.

So, to sum up, you're right to question stereotypes. They're usually not that accurate, and even when they are, it could be purely coincidental. The only reason they even exist anymore is so we can piss each other off, like how Rakk/Raul/CABAL/Insanity/Jack Nicholson rips on El Scorpio for being Irish, which I don't even think he is.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

YouTube Commentors

Can someone please tell me why it's so hard to find someone who wants to make an intelligent comment on a video? Why must everyone use that space to bitch and whine and insult each other just because they have differing opinions? I commented on this TNA video, and frankly I wish I hadn't. It's pretty hard to avoid sinking to their level. Just reading that shit can actually reduce your IQ by a dozen points.

I've concluded that the comments sections on YouTube videos really aren't for comments on the video. They're apparently there just so people who watch the video can throw feces at each other and act like complete idiots. I hate sharing cyberspace with these people, and when someone invents a way to electroshock people over the internet, I'll be one of the first ones to buy it.


"If you have it, you don't need it. If you need it, you don't have it. If you have it, you need more of it. If you have more of it, you don't need less of it. You need it to get it, and you certainly need it to get more of it, but if you don't already have any of it to begin with, you can't get any of it to get started, which means you really have no idea how to get it in the first place, do you?

You can share it, sure. You can even stockpile it if you'd like. But you can't fake it. Wanting it, needing it, wishing for it. The point is, if you've never had any of it, ever... people just seem to know."

Really, that's all I gotta say. Later.

Monday, February 05, 2007

You're As Cold As Ice

This is basically just a repost of something I said on a forum earlier today.

I don't know the exact temp outside, but according to the widget on my desktop, it's between 16 degrees and 6 degrees Fahrenheit. Of course, that's without wind chill. Something few people know about Poughkeepsie is that it gets really windy in the winter. I mean, really windy. I have had an umbrella torn apart in a rainstorm before because of this wind. Wind that can twist and snap the metal arms of an open umbrella apart; that's hardcore wind.

So, today I am walking outside in 3 layers of clothing: tshirt, sweatshirt, and my winter coat. I have my hood up and a hat on my head. I'm heading back to my room after class, and I am reminded of yet another fascinating quality of the wind in Poughkeepsie: no matter where I'm going, the wind is always directed in the opposite direction, so I get hit full in the face with it. At full speed, the wind becomes so biting that you can actually feel it stabbing right through the fibers of all 3 layers, right through the skin into my very core. Not a pleasant sensation.

You ever had one of those days where it's so cold that you can't think? Literally, the only thought you're capable of processing is, "Fuck, it's cold!"? That's today. Needless to say, I'm happy to be back inside, where I at least have Midrise's feeble excuse for central heating to keep me thawed. Something tells me I'm going to be very uncomfortable when I have to go back out in the middle of the night, though.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Open Letter to the McDonald's Corporation

To whom it may concern within the McDonald's corporation,

How y'all doin'? My reason for writing today is quite simple: I think I may have accomplished the impossible. Yes, I have thought of a way for you to make even more money. You see, I have recently discovered that, though your products have been criticized for their apparent negative health effects, they also have an effect that is healthy for the human body.

Allow me to explain. (If you are in a work environment or other public place, I would advise you to not read this out loud.) Last week, I was absent from school because of an illness. During this time, I had become, if I may attempt to say this in a relatively dignified way, irregular. I had not had a bowel movement all week. If you ask anyone who has experienced such a thing, they can tell you that it is quite a painful experience. So, naturally, I took steps to relieve this condition. I drank as much water as possible. I took some stool softeners, but they didn't seem to have any effect. At one time, I even tried the dreaded suppository, but nothing helped.

Then, when my uncle heard about my condition, he suggested that I go to McDonald's. According to him, whenever he has had constipation problems, he just eats some food from McDonald's, and it clears him right out. I thought it sounded odd, but I took his advice. Last Sunday, I ate a double cheeseburger, fries and a baked apple pie for lunch. Within 30 minutes of finishing the meal, I found myself heading for the bathroom to relieve myself. Incredible, but my uncle was 100% right. It worked like a charm.

So, that is the reason I am writing this now. I think that the seemingly magical colon-cleansing effect that your products have should not remain a secret. Your sales could get even higher if people realize that your food actually has healthy effects. The only trouble, in my mind, is how one would go about marketing such a thing. I'll leave that to your talented advertising writers. Of course, when I say 'talented', I mean that with all due sarcasm. You haven't made a tolerable television commercial in years.

This concludes my proposition. Thank you for your time, and I hope you will give this some consideration. And to anyone else who may have read this, remember this story next time you have any colon-related health issues.

Sincerely Yours,

Daniel P. Mayer, A Satisfied Customer

Thursday, February 01, 2007


In 2008, for the first time, I will be voting for the next president of the United States. The problem is that I'm not sure who I'll be voting for. I'm trying to stay relatively informed and keep my eyes open for good candidates. So far, I have at least two that I think I could vote for, but I'm not 100% sure on either one, and if it came down to the two of them, I don't know who I'd go with. Here's a little breakdown of my feelings for the both of them.

---Hillary Clinton:---
Pro: Hillary has previously stated her position on several issues that are important to me; Regulation of the gaming industry, Net Neutrality. She seems like her priorities are in order at least in those respects that are important to a social outcast like myself. She's not perfect, but we could definitely do worse.

Con: I can't prove it, but I think she may have actually been responsible for what happened to Bill Clinton. Not only did she know about his encounter with Lewinsky, I think she orchestrated it. Bill was getting a little too cocky, so she decided to put him in his place. That's pretty diabolical. She's smart for sure, but I don't know if we really want a devious person in the white house. Then again, considering the current administration, it wouldn't be unprecidented.

---Barrack Obama:---
Pro: He's just a smart guy. I know he's smart because he allowed me to watch CSPAN for the first time in my life. Normally, I can never watch that boring crap, but I was actually able to watch it when I was flipping through channels and saw Barrack on CSPAN. I watched for a good 15 minutes while he talked, and I wasn't bored. I think the reason for this is because he understands how normal argument is supposed to be. He says what he believes, and why he believes it. Simple as that. There's no unnecessary fluff and filler. He makes good points and supports them well. On top of that, he has proven in the past that he knows not to take himself too seriously. He's been on the Colbert Report. He has a sense of humor, and he knows when to joke around and when to be serious. That's a very good quality to have. Beyond all that, he just has an intangible likeability to his character that makes you think he knows what he's doing.

Con: I think he might be the antichrist. Just putting it out there. I mean, isn't he just a little bit too likeable? I don't know about you, but I don't really want to aid in the apocalypse, so it might be wiser to not vote for him. Then again, the world's going to shit pretty fast already, so maybe it wouldn't affect anything.

Anyway, that's how I feel about those two. If either of them makes it to the final stretch, I'm pretty sure I'll be voting for them. If neither of them makes it, then I'm just going to cast a write-in vote for Howard Dean. I still hope Howard Dean decides to run again. In fact, I wish Dean had won in 2004, and I'm going to write him an email encouraging him to run in '08. At least, I hope I'll get around to it at some point.