Tuesday, February 26, 2008

You ever take a crap so big...

I'm watching Letterman at the moment, so sorry ahead of time if this is totally unintelligible.

Well, although it's obviously not set in stone, I'm thinking about going back to Marist next year. I have to earn a few credits somewhere else first, though, so I'm checking out a couple community colleges and stuff for just part-time purposes. Of course, this is just a side plot kind of thing. If I get published, that's it. No more schoolin' for this youngster.

Also, the Oscars were on last night. How many of you watched it? Yeah, me neither. Let us revel in our indifference. All together now: "Who cares?"

In mental health news, I talked to my therapist today. I dunno. I think we're getting somewhere, but I'm still mighty screwed up in the head.

Ow. I just sat on my balls. Hate it when that happens. Better shift my seating position a bit.

There we go. Also, I doubt anyone cares, but I might as well tell somebody. After a lifetime of briefs, and a few years of boxer-briefs on and off (no pun intended), I have officially switched full-time to boxer shorts. It's supposed to be healthier, I guess. Probably more stylish, too, for a guy in my kind of shape. And of course, it's always nice when the boys have plenty of elbow room to hang out and do their thing. They just gotta breath, you know?

The only real downside is that it's impossible to hide it when I'm aroused. Aside from the embarrassment that can cause, it also adds an unnecessary hazard to getting on a crowded elevator.

And, with that gorgeous image set in your mind, I'm off for now. Goodnight, my love.

Sunday, February 24, 2008


You know, I really wish I wasn't so braindead. Anyway, I don't have much to talk about, but I'll say what I will.

First of all, it probably won't surprise Jordan to find out that I'm playing Baten Kaitos Origins again. The funny thing about that game is that, while it can probably be beaten in a day, it has a good hundred and fifty hours of sidequests and crap to do. I'm playing a little Killer7, too. Despite getting a Wii for Christmas, I'm trying to appreciate the classics.

I'm still on the Urban Dead forum, even though I haven't played the game in months. The role-play board makes for great writing practice. Sadly, this also means I haven't been working on my novel(s) much lately, and due to technology issues, my series is still on hold. I'm going to put some more time aside this week to try to crack this writer's block I'm getting.

I've got a lot of reading to do, too. Aside from all the books I had at Christmas, I just picked up the fourth and fifth books in Garth Nix' Keys to the Kingdom series. I started reading this thing years ago, then it seemed like he must have given up on it, so I did, too. Now, some 5ish years later, I find not one but two new books to sink my teeth into. And I haven't even finished the Mammoth Book of Comic Fantasy yet. Damn, I've got a lot to do.

Oh, and I'm still working at Price Chopper at $7.15 an hour. And it still sucks hard.

That's all for now. Peace, love and harmony, bitches.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Re: So how's things?

Wass been up on your side of the world?


Whole lot of nothing. Funny story, though. That payperpost thing I use on my blog had a 1-day offer going today. I could've made $50 in about three minutes, but I can't make a post unless I had a non-sponsored original post first, and my writer gene is totally blocked. So, kinda bummed about that.

Oh, and I'm starting new meds. So, I might be a little more psycho than usual for the next couple weeks. Or might do one of my disappearing acts for a while. Or maybe nothing will really change. Who knows.

Also, I haven't touched it in a few days, but I started another novel. It's kind of a shift in styles for me. It's still my usual action-comedy schmere, but no sci-fi, and I'm writing it in first-person perspective for a change. I've got a good feeling about this one.

...Hey, I think I just got a new blog post. Thanks, dude. You just inadvertently helped me out. Peace.


I just discovered that, in the time it took me to write this post, I missed a shot at an easy $500. Yeah. Just shoot me now.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Possible Proof That Dr. Phil Is A Quack

Um... Okay.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Open Letter to John McCain

Dear Mr McCain,

I have noticed in the past week that you have been doing quite well in the Republican primaries. There is a strong chance that you will be the next president of the United States, or at least the Republican candidate for 2008. Although I do not plan to vote on you, I would like to congratulate you on your success so far, and wish you all the best in the future.

Now, to the reason I am writing. Approximately one year ago, advertisements for your 2008 presidential campaign started appearing on a forum I frequent, located at urbandead.proboards52.com. These advertisements were seen on almost every page, and people were beginning to wonder if you had personally bought the forum. This eventually became a running joke, or meme if you will. Myself and other staff members even went so far as to edit the forum word filters, so that all censored words and phrases would be replaced by your name. Soon, everyone on the forum came to associate your name with foul language and rampant stupidity. These things have, at least in the realm of cyberspace, increased your exposure and made you more widely recognizeable.

The point I am getting to is, I believe that I and the other members of the forum were responsible in some part for your campaign success so far. For the time being, we offer this exposure free of charge. However, in the event of your victory in the election this fall, myself and the rest of the staff will assume responsibility for said victory, and will request advertising compensation in the form of a check for no less than $2000.00 USD.

Thank you for your attention, and good luck in the coming election.

Best regards,
Dan Mayer