Alright, Schunk, are you happy now? I'm talking about you on the Internet. Jeez...
For those who don't know, while I was at Marist I had, and sort of still have, an arch-rival. He was the Joker to my Batman; the mongoose to my rattlesnake; the obnoxious man-child to my... well, you get the idea. This lovable bane of my existence goes by the name of Matt Schunk.
When it came to WWE videogames, our rivalry was unmatched. Legitimate matches usually degenerated to insults and accusations of cheating from both sides. I'd win through some clever but underhanded move, and he'd call me a cheater. He'd pull the same kind of thing in our next match and celebrate like it was Wrestlemania. Schunk was a sore winner, and he raised trash-talk to the level of an artform. Looking back now, I can't think of anyone else who succeeded at pissing me off quite as much as he did. On one occasion, he actually got me pissed enough that I snapped and attacked him with a hockey stick. I'm not sure where I got a hockey stick, but fortunately I came to my senses when I remembered that, with the shape I was in, he could probably kick my ass blindfolded.
(Still the most viewed video in my YouTube channel)
Honestly, I do miss his antics some days. He always was the life of the party, even if he let it go to his head a little too much. We don't talk much anymore, aside from random updates and favorite wrestlers dying.
(Seriously, Umaga's gone now too? Is there anyone cool left in WWE?)
Still, I get the feeling our rivalry isn't destined to end just yet. Someday, we'll have that big rematch we'd been planning, or at least get together and catch up. In the meantime, I guess I'll have to settle for plotting to kill my roommates instead. Just don't tell them I said that.