Saturday, May 17, 2014

That Disgusting Kiss from the NFL Draft

I'm sure most of you are aware that the openly gay football player Michael Sam recently became the first of his kind to be drafted into the NFL. You're probably also aware that upon receiving the news, he passionately kissed his boyfriend in celebration. I have no doubt this will be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think that kind of thing should be broadcast on television, or anywhere else for that matter, and I'll tell you why.

Kissing is gross to look at. There, I've said it. I know it's a perfectly normal expression of affection, regardless of a person's culture or sexual orientation, and yes it does feel nice. That doesn't make it any less terrible to watch.

Have you ever watched a couple making out? I mean, really watched? It's a mess. Their faces are all mashed together, making sloppy noises, lips squishing around, noses sometimes bending at odd angles in a vain effort to facilitate the ridiculously undignified act of face-sucking. It's just an absolute mess, and I can't understand why anyone would want to be seen doing it in public.

If ESPN had any decency, they would never show a player kissing their significant other again. I certainly understand if they want to seem inclusive and accepting of a gay player by proudly showing a same-sex kiss on their network, but they really don't need to score any more points with the gay community. The draft of Michael Sam is already a nice milestone on the road to equality on its own, and besides, this is professional football we're talking about; there is plenty of unbridled homo-eroticism going around as it is.

Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. I'll thank you for not judging me too harshly. Peace and love, readerlings.

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