Sweet Chocolate Jesus!

Honestly, I don't get it. What is offensive about this? Can someone please tell me what, if anything, is offensive about this sculpture? And please, don't say his chocolate wang. There's been nudity in art since way back when.

Stone Cold Steve Austin is a God

Also, I really need one of those new t-shirts.

I'm in ur blogs, responding to ur angst

Yeah, I'm linking to this dude's blog. We both play UD apparently (or at least he used to), and someone directed me to it on a forum, saying it was, and I quote, "worth reading for the Lulz." He wasn't kidding.

No Time Like The Past

Yeah, I know, I haven't posted anything in a while. I've been busy with shit. A lot of shit. Anyway, I didn't want to go too long without posting something new, so I thought I'd post this thing I found on YouTube. It's an old clip from The Twilight Zone, and it makes something of a statement about war. A statement I wholeheartedly agree with.

Also, don't read the comments. YouTube commentors are idiots.

I ran into Santa Claus today

This is not a joke. I think I just met Santa Claus in person. He was in the men's room at Sears. I was drying my hands, and he was washing his hands at the sink next to me. He had a bushy white beard that looked just like Santa. He wasn't especially fat, though, so I didn't think anything of it. Then, when I was walking out of the men's room, I heard him whistling to himself. Just as I got past the door, I suddenly realized that the tune he was whistling was "We Three Kings."

Normally, I would think meeting a person like Santa Claus would be very cool, especially since I was dead sure before today that he didn't exist. However, there was a problem. You see, just before I left the men's room, he offered me a friendly greeting. Now, being that a) I'm an anti-social dick, and b) He's some random guy I just met in a bathroom, I really didn't want to talk to him, and I didn't realize who he was at the time. So, I just sort of gave a muffled courtesy 'Hi' and walked out of the room. It wasn't until I got out of the room and heard the jolly whistling that it hit me who he was.

So, I think that settles it: I'm going to hell. If it wasn't a sure thing before, it is now. I don't know how serious a sin you have to commit to guarantee a ticket to hell, but I'm pretty sure that rudely and ignorantly snubbing St. Nick is on that list of things that'll get you a seat on the train to Hades.

Rod Serling is a God

But that one goes without saying.

Craig Ferguson is a God

I hope that's not news to anyone.

Kevin Smith is a God

That is all.

Procrastinating

I don't know why, but I seem to have a knack for avoiding anything resembling work. Meanwhile, I seem to have taken time wasting to a new level. I've had days lately where I spend up to 30 minutes just staring at the computer screen. No, not surfing the web, just staring blankly at the screen. And yet, I would rather space out and lose huge chunks of time doing literally nothing than spend time doing work. I don't know, maybe if I didn't have a burning hatred for all of my classes this semester, it would be easier to focus. However, as it is, all of the classes I'm taking right now are retarded crap that I will never need to know for the rest of my life, and my brain is pissed off because it doesn't want to accept any more useless information. Believe me, I've memorized enough useless crap for ten lifetimes. For once, I'd like to learn about something I might actually give a flying fuck about.

Other news: I may be producing a serial novel soon. It might not happen, but I'm hoping it will, in some capacity or another. I've already started looking for a decent host site. I'd host it here, but no one reads this crap.