Maybe it was the pasta primavera

There's something really odd with my metabolism. When I get sick, it's never the normal progression of events. It all happens in fast forward; all symptoms are 10 times worse, but last a fraction of the time.

This past Saturday, I had some kind of nasty stomach bug, and went through the illness from start to finish in record time. Let me walk you through my morning:

• From the time I wake up for work until about 9:15, no symptoms at all.


• 9:20, I'm just sort of uncomfortable.


• 9:25, getting worse, but I figured it was just gas.


• 9:30, I'm in serious distress.


• 9:35, I'm doubled over in crippling pain, getting nauseas.


• 9:40, I have diarrhea, then more pain.


• 9:45, I call someone at work, then run to the kitchen for a really big bowl.


• 9:50, the vomiting starts.



By the way, I think I pretty much have vomiting down to a science now, as I vacated my entire digestive track in 4 or 5 heaves. Part of my undigested breakfast, followed by the rest of breakfast, last night's dinner, part of yesterday's lunch, and whatever fluids are left over all of my meals from the past week. Anyway, I'm still doubled over in agony, but it's getting better after flushing my system.



• 9:55, pain subsiding, nausea gone, my mom concerned.


• 10:00, call work again to make sure Jen got someone to fill in.


• 10:05, I feel okay, maybe 75%, but very drained, so I head back to bed to recover. I slept for the rest of the morning.

By the afternoon, I was 100% and playing Godzilla: Unleashed. I went through all stages of a 24-hour stomach bug inside of 45 minutes. I'm pretty sure that's unnatural. Anyway, those 10-15 minutes before and including the vomiting were the worst of my life, but I'm totally fine now, so no big deal, I guess.