Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I want to play a game.

Well, it took me long enough, but I finally decided to write about that Halloween party I went to. I've been busy, so I didn't really get a chance until now. Before I get started, I just want to clarify for everyone that absolutely everything you're about to read is 100% true. Except for the parts I made up.

So, where do I start? Well, I guess it started at Benoit before everyone went out. There were a lot of good costumes there that night. I put some photos up on Facebook. Click the link in the title to view the album. (You have to be logged in to see it) Now, as it turns out, there was more than one party going on that night. No one could really agree on one to go to, so the group ended up parting ways for the night. I ended up going with Schunk to a party his friend was throwing. For some reason, no one else wanted to go. I think it had something to do with a lack of Jungle Juice. Anyway, some friends of Big Guy gave us a ride to the house.

As it turned out, Schunk was the only guy at the party that I knew. So, small-talk was pretty much out of the question, but that was fine. I was dressed as Jigsaw. My job was to stand there and look creepy. I have to say, I did it very well. The party was still pretty sweet, though. As the night rolled on, more and more people showed up, and it became difficult to move. Supposedly, that's a sign of a successful party. I really wouldn't know.

At one point, a game of Beer Pong was played. I didn't take part, but Schunk did, and I was on his side of the table. This was partly for good luck and moral support, partly to creep out the other team, and partly because I had nothing better to do. Whatever I was there for, it worked. Schunk got four successful throws in a row. He then went on some kind of rant about the Four Horseman. He was dressed as Ric Flair, so I guess it was to be expected.

After that, there was a lot of loud music being played. Normally, I detest loud music, but at least it was good loud music. Also, it gave a couple girls at the party an excuse to dance on top of a table.

(Which reminds me, before I go any further, there's something I need to say here. Whoever originally came up with the concept of having girls use Halloween as an excuse to dress up in the skimpiest outfits possible, I'd appreciate it if you would come visit me at Marist. I would like the opportunity to meet you in person, shake your hand and say "You've done the world a great service. Thank you.")

So, back to the story: Two hot girls are dancing on a table. I'm sitting on the couch about 2 feet away from the table. That alone was reason to be glad I went out that night. I know that sounds perverted, but I'm a stressed-out nerd with no girlfriend. This is all I have. At one point, I considered getting out my camera so I could take a video clip of the two of them, but I decided against it, thinking it would be rude. To this day, I deeply regret that decision. I often wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat screaming "Why am I such a fucking idiot?!"

Well, aside from that, I also was happy to learn that I was not the most perverted freak at the party that night. There was a certain guy in a cheap pumpkin costume there who took it upon himself to join in the dancing. And by dancing, of course, I meant he was trying to dry hump the girls dancing on the table. I'm not sure what was weirder; the fact that he was doing it, or the fact that they weren't trying harder to brush him off. Ah, power of liquor. At one point, someone yelled to him, "Make a grab!", or something along those lines. I think he considered it, but didn't go through with it. Understandable, I guess. Had I been in the same position, I don't think I would have done it either. Of course, that's mostly because I took forever trying to put on my makeup that night, and really didn't want it getting screwed up by a slap in the face, which I was fairly sure I would have invited. The girls were drunk, but not that drunk.

Later on that night, Schunk ended up behind the bar selling shots. The main item for sale was a shot called "Vampire Juice." Absolutely everyone who went to the bar asked what was in it, but no one got a straight answer. I don't think too many people actually knew. I'm not sure myself, but from what I can gather, it is essentially a mixture of Rufies and Hawaiian Punch. The shots were going for $1 each, but apparently not everyone had brought enough money with them. A few guys, clearly inebriated and low on cash, had offered to give Schunk a blow job in exchange for a shot, but he declined. At first...

The night rolled on, and Schunk eventually decided, after being stuck behind the bar for almost an hour, that he was ready to leave. Unfortunately, we didn't have a ride back to campus. Big Guy's friends never came back, and he and the others never came to the party as they said they were going to. Schunk tried calling them, but no one was answering their cell phone. So, we ended up walking back to campus. If you ask Schunk about it, he probably has a 10-minute speech prepared about how it was "bullshit." Personally, I think I blame the Jungle Juice.

So, aside from how it ended, it was a pretty cool night. I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get to kill anyone, though. Oh, well, maybe next year.

Oh, yes. There will be blood.

1 comment:

  1. " I often wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat screaming "Why am I such a fucking idiot?!"

    This hardly ever happens. But sometimes I see him sit up and shed a single tear at the concept of his virginity.

    If it makes you feel better thats about how I react at parties too, so there is still hope for you my socially inept little friend, since there was hope for me...

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