Demetri Martin made me laugh so hard it hurt. As it turns out, laughter feels pretty bad when your windpipe is loaded with mucus. Instead of laughing normally, I made a grotesque wheezing noise and hurt my still-sensitive throat. But I couldn't stop.
On the bright side, I can confidently say now that Important Things is probably the best show Comedy Central has had in years. It was one hell of a premiere episode. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard it hurt. I won't be able to say that after today, huh?
So, if you didn't watch the show, do it. Until you do, I will hate you. You not-Demetri-Martin-watching jerk.