Re: Attention Whores

So yeah, some people just can't live without being the center of attention. I can't say I blame them. I enjoy unwarranted attention from others as well. There is of course a minor difference between me and some other people: I'm awesome. If people worship the ground I walk on, I say well, of course, why doesn't everyone? But we're getting off track here.

I haven't communicated with my arch nemesis in quite a while. Maybe I've just been too busy with stuff of my own, but anyway I guess I have to give credit where credit was due. Whereas I've pretty much let the Halloween tradition stagnate, this past year consisting of a crappy party in the lounge and not much else, Schunk has continued to take the tradition seriously. This past year, unbeknownst to me, he constructed yet another memorable Halloween costume. Well, I just got to see the pictures recently, and I guess it's time I said something.



Schunk of course cropped the other guy out of this shot, because God forbid the spotlight should be taken off of him.

Well, first thing's first: I have to point out how deeply disturbed I am by the sight of Schunk in shorts that are this short. Other than that, I have to admit the ensemble is pretty accurate. The wig, the mustache, the colorful attire. He's a dead ringer for Lady GaGa.

Okay, I kid. Obviously it's a Hulk Hogan costume, and a pretty convincing one. Looking at this pic above I almost expect to see a Rent-A-Center logo in the corner. I have to say I was a little saddened to see Hulk in such a commercial, but I can't blame him. Whatcha gonna do, brother? Whatcha gonna do, when the IRS runs wild on you?

So I guess that's about it. Regardless of any homoerotic qualities the outfit might have, I have to give Schunk credit for putting together a good Halloween costume when I was too lazy to do so. What's more, he successfully tricked me into looking at all his latest Facebook photos. Between the Hulkamania pics, the green man molesting some poor boy and whatever the fuck this is, I think I need to pull my eyeballs out of my head and scrub them with steel wool.

You win this round, Schunk. But rest assured, once the nightmares subside, I will have my revenge. In the meantime, I hope you had a good holiday season and a happy new year. Talk to me if you want; I'm not hard to get ahold of. To everyone else, peace and love.

RIP

Marlon Hutchinson, my grandfather, passed away early this morning. I can't say I was surprised, given he's been battling cancer for most of the past year. Nevertheless, he will be missed.

Merry whatever you celebrate

I'll have some choice words for a certain guy whose last name sounds like a comic book sound effect, but that's later. For now, I'm enjoying my holiday. You enjoy this:

The Hunt is Over

Click

Well, all I can say is I'm glad somebody finally found the damn thing.

The Mind of Man Rests

So, I figured I should mention here in case anyone still reads this: there's a bit of a scavenger hunt going on across the 'net. It's all about this phrase:

"The mind of man rests on a delicate balance between reality - the world of light, and the other darker world below the threshold of consciousness... and it is from this world of darkness which comes the evil destructive forces in man's nature."

This thing has been showing up all over, as you can see in the description of this video. No one seems to know what film or show or whatever the audio is from. I'm guessing I'm a little late to the party here, but to my knowledge the answer hasn't been found yet.

Anyway, this has really piqued my curiosity, so even if I'm not the winner, I want to know what the quote is from. If anybody can help me, I'd really appreciate it. If you actually help me win the scavenger hunt, I'll make love to your soul.

...Or I guess a simple thank-you works, too. And maybe I'll give you like $5 if you have paypal.

On a related note, I can't help but feel that "The Mind of Man Rests" would be a great title for a book. Or maybe an alternative rock song. But don't get any bright ideas; I want to be the one who uses it for that purpose. Don't go using TMMR for your book's title, or I'll do mean, bizarre things to you, eventually confusing you to the point that you lose all grip on reality.

So, yeah, I'd welcome any help with this. If we don't win, thanks anyway for trying. And by all means let me know if you hear that phrase somewhere else.

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog-gonnit, people like me

Okay, so I guess I can stop feeling sorry for myself. I've pretty well gotten back on track academically, aside from a pending makeup test and some programming assignments I have to finish up. I seem to be on schedule to graduate in May, provided I pass my classes this semester. If I don't, I might just choose to take a break in the spring, but right now things are looking pretty good.

My only real problem at this point is my apparent inability to get that webcomic off the ground. I downloaded the software, I have scripts planned out, but I never seem to get around to drawing anything. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll make it happen this week, but I get the feeling I won't be ready to launch the website by the end of the year. So, that has me a little bummed.

Anyway, that's about it for now. I'll check in with more info whenever. Peace and love, you crazy kids.

Re: Personal problems

I really don't like to write things here about my personal life if I can help it. The obvious exceptions are anecdotes that I think might be funny or at least enjoyable by someone. Of course, most of my life isn't that interesting, and so I have relatively little to write here. However, I feel tonight should break with tradition, if only to let people know what's going on.

To put it simply, I've been having a rough sort of depression relapse. I'm having a very hard time finding the will to even get out of bed in the morning. I think it's hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it, but suffice to say it's pretty amazing I haven't killed myself yet. I'm sure I have something to live for, but I'll be damned if I can think of what it is.

So, it's starting to look like I might be taking a break from school. I don't know yet what's going to happen, but it's fairly certain that I'm not graduating in May at this rate. So, I guess I don't know what's next for me. I'm getting some blood work done tomorrow, going to see a new doctor, maybe get some counseling. Other than that, it's a mystery.

Really, I hate this. I know how this must look to most people, and I feel totally pathetic, but this mess has gotten out of control. I'm not just depressed; there is something clinically wrong with me. Nobody should feel this way all the time for no reason.

Anyway, I'm hoping I'll find a way to turn this into something good. If I end up taking some time off, I'll try to make the most of it, either writing or drawing. I don't know, I just don't want to waste my damn life forever. In the meantime, though, I guess I'm sitting in front of the computer like an ass playing Castle Age and growing a beard. Could be worse, I guess. I could be playing World of Warcraft.

Re: the RP stigma

This hopefully won't come as a shock to anyone, but I'm a total dork. As such, I feel right at home in online fantasy worlds like IMVU, and feel a certain kinship with roleplayers, or RPers if you're just too busy to write the damn word out.

Okay, so there's this poll going around about whether roleplayers deserve to have a subforum of their own on the IMVU forums. This would give them a place to discuss all things RP-related without being bothered by anyone, and without their discussions bothering anyone else.

Click to View the Poll

Regardless of what you think of roleplaying, this isn't rocket science. There are people on the forums who don't want roleplayers discussing their storylines, characters etc. in the Misc section or other parts of the forum where it's not really relevant, and the roleplayers want to have a central place where they can discuss their RP stuff without getting hassled (creating individual groups for this purpose hasn't been cutting it). Adding a subforum for roleplay-related discussion would make everyone happy.

Now, I could leave it at that, but I'll go one further and explain why the harassment these folks are getting is undeserved. If you don't care, feel free to stop reading now. Just go vote on that poll if you have an account, as it would be helping a good cause.

Here's the thing: a lot of people have this twisted perception of what "roleplaying" is. When some people hear the word roleplay, they immediately think of sex. Others may think of LARPers and DnD nerds dressing up as elves and doing creepy things in their parents' basement. The fact is, while those kinds of people might fall under the umbrella of "roleplaying", the term has a much broader definition.

Roleplaying is basically any time where you make up a fictional character (or characters) in a fictional setting and act out that character, typically in writing when we're referring to roleplay on the Internet. It's kind of like writing a fiction novel, but in multiplayer form. And there are all kinds of roleplay. Some people like to act out sexual fantasies with made up characters, while others just enjoy the writing exercise and the communities of people they meet.

The bottom line is, we all enjoyed playing make-believe as kids. Some of us are just under the ridiculous impression that it stops when we grow up. It doesn't. Actors and writers get payed to do it every day. And we do it whenever we watch, read, etc. What are movies, books and tv if not playing make-believe?

The truth is, a lot of people like to use their imagination, to imagine themselves in another person's shoes, in another time and place. This is what roleplaying is. Whether it's elves and orcs, angels and demons, or just plain old humans doing more interesting things than what you're doing right now. RPers are not freaks or sexual deviants or anything (most of them aren't, anyway >_>). For the most part they're just ordinary people who have a taste for the extraordinary.

So, yeah, to sum up, roleplayers are not all freaks. If you think so and treat them as such, you're a dickhead. Let them have their own forum section and quit being so god damn intolerant. "There are two kinds of people in this world I cannot tolerate: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch."

Another Lazy Update

What can I say? I have a lot of respect for Zach Weiner. He really has some powerful insights once in a while. Go read his comic if you're not already.

Re: Nov. 2nd

Did I vote today? No. Did I so much as find the motivation to leave my room today? Only to go to the bathroom once. You know, I hate to sound pathetic, but that's kind of how I'm feeling lately. I don't know if it's a problem with my meds or what, but it's getting harder to just get out of bed in the morning, or at all.

Of course, it doesn't help much that the political landscape is about as barren and depressing as it was this time 2 years ago. At least then we had Obama to be excited about. What is there now? I can't turn the tv on without seeing more ridiculous campaign ads trying to warp my perceptions of people. I'd be thrilled out of my mind if a candidate would just come forward and say what all their policies are, and the closest thing we've had to that was Basil Marceaux.



It's funny, really. In a sick sort of way. This basically describes our choices doesn't it? Go to the polling place and decide, do you want the country run by self-serving assholes or incompetent morons? Anyone with half a brain and a sense of morality became a doctor or fireman or something. They all stayed the hell out of politics.

Well, as much as I hate the prospect, I think I might just have to run for public office after all. Not now, obviously, but in my thirties when people might take me seriously. I don't want to be in charge of anything, and my time running a club on campus has proven I'm not entirely competent, but I have yet to see someone else come forward who I would entrust with our country's future.

Anyway, that's enough of my rambling tonight. Let me just close by saying this: do as I say and not as I do. Go vote if you haven't already. Of course if you're reading this it's probably too late anyway, but I felt I had to say it. Half the reason we have such awful people in charge is that the average person just doesn't care. The fact is, we have to care if we want things to ever get any better. So vote when you can, and pay attention to the political landscape. Do some research of your own on candidates you might like. If everyone can just start caring a little more, maybe we'll live up to the expectations of the greatest country in the world again.

As for me, I'm having a hard enough time caring whether I live or die, so don't look to me for advice on politics. Peace and love, all. Have a nice day, and uh, have a nice day.

Re: Kristen

She's freaking cool and stuff. So yeah. Her blog is linked to in the sidebar somewhere. Go read it. I'm serious, do it right now. Why are you still reading this? Get your mouse over there and click, dammit.

Re: Reactions

I guess this is a new feature with blogger. "New" meaning anything that's been added in like a year because I'm clueless. Anyway, posts now have little reaction buttons at the bottom, so if you like a particular post and want me to write more like it, click the button that seems appropriate.

EDUT: Assuming I get them to work, that is.

Re: Popularity

I'm wondering now what's better, to have millions of people think you're kind of cool, or to have a few select people think you're the coolest person ever. My knee-jerk reaction is to say the latter, but then having an exclusive fan club doesn't exactly translate to book sales, does it?

Anyway, I'm in an odd mood right now, so I thought I'd share. I'm realizing lately that, when communicating with people through means other than face-to-face conversation, I'm actually pretty fun to talk to. This is really no big surprise. I mean, even years ago I remember Jordan saying how I sound so much different on my blog than in person. (Incidentally, I wonder if he's still reading this...) I guess it just struck me recently how true this is for digital media in general.

I'm not going to go into specifics, but through no serious effort of my own, I seem to have become well liked by a handful of people I've never actually met. Which is cool in its own way, but I'm starting to wonder if maybe it should stay that way. Our having never met, I mean. I have this sinking feeling that if I were to meet any of these people in person, I would find a way to undo any positive image they had of me. It's funny, that by being myself online I am easily likable, but in real life I just don't have that capacity. I don't know why. I'd blame the depression, but that seems too easy. (I of course type this as I'm popping my second Prozac for the day)

So, here's the thing: again, I won't go into specifics, but someone I met online and I have been talking about meeting up at some point. I originally really liked the idea, but the more I think about it, the more I worry that whatever weird funk I have hanging over my head will overshadow any and all of my positive qualities. I'd hate to lose a friendship, but I feel like that's what is likely to happen if we meet. To meet me in person is essentially to see the worst side of me. Or one of the worst sides, anyway.

The bottom line is, I'm freer online to express myself, to show my best side. In real life, that side can be hard to see, especially when I'm still struggling with this whole depression thing. It's not really something I want to accept, even if it inevitably a part of me that will never go away completely. I don't really know what else to say about this, except that, if anyone is reading this, I hope you can recognize there is more to me than what I appear to be in person. A lot more. I think if we got to know each other well you'd see the better side of me more often, but that takes time, and somehow I don't think everyone wants to wait that long.

Whatever. I'm rambling now, so I'll sign off for tonight. One last unrelated thing I'll mention: ITPI is having a pre-Halloween party thing on Oct. 24th, so if you're in Utica, come join us in the Adirondack Lounge around 8pm. People who spend any time on campus before then will probably see some posters soon. I actually put a little effort into this one, so I'm going to try to get as many printed as I can manage. There'll be scary movies and candy. I'm getting a ouiji board, because hell, why not? It should be a good time.

I guess that's it. I'll post again whenever the mood strikes me. In the meantime, peace and love, y'all.

Re: Social updates

It's probably worth noting that, while I rarely update this blog anymore, my Twitter is fairly current. I'm not one of those people who updates 8 times a day, don't worry. I just throw out little tweets about things when the mood strikes me. So anyway, if anyone really wants to know what I'm currently up to, you can follow @danmayerisgod. Likewise, I'm on Facebook a lot (damn you Backyard Monsters and your addictiveness). Feel free to add me.

Oh, and I went to a Nickelback/Buckcherry/3 Days Grace concert on Wednesday night. While it was a lot of fun, I don't recommend going to concerts in the middle of the week, particularly if you have shit to do the next day. It doesn't end well.

So, yeah, that's all I wanted to say. Peace and love, you crazy kids.

Re: Replies

Haven't gotten many. Maybe it relates to the lack of posts. Anyway, a few things to talk about. First, my birthday's coming up. Don't bother getting me anything. I'm not wild about the idea of commemorating something as inconsequential as my birth.

I'm going back to SUNYIT on Saturday. At that point, the IT Paranormal Investigators will be restarting, and hopefully I'll get a jump on a good visit this time. If not, we still have the option of having a seance and/or hitting each other with nerf weapons. The two are not related.

If you hadn't heard, I am working on my webcomic. I'm just really lazy and unmotivated, so it's not coming along quickly. Not to jinx myself, but I think I'll be ready to launch the site by Christmas. That includes having a backlog of pages, though.

Other than that, I still seem to be perfecting the art of being antisocial on social networking sites. Between Facebook, IMVU and TinierMe, I'm not sure how many friends I have that I never talk to. I wonder what will happen when I have to interact with people face-to-face again. I mean, the Meals on Wheels job gave me some experience with idle conversation, but I still have no idea what to say to girls that I'm attracted to. Could I be any more of a perpetual dork? I swear, it's amazing how many insecurities and pubescent hang-ups I still have with me. And it's weird, because for all my crippling flaws, I still not-so-secretly think I'm the coolest human being that ever lived. You don't get that much contradiction from a Scotch-Korean. Go figure.

I'm also starting to use twitter again, but my sole reason for doing so is trying to get on the Tosh.0 blog and/or the tv show. It's not even like I myself would be featured; we're talking about something I said on the Internet reappearing elsewhere on the Internet. It shouldn't be a big deal. And yet, I love Tosh.0, I think Daniel Tosh and his writers are geniuses, and I daydream about having my own web redemption, which is weird since I've never really had an epic Internet failure. All my videos are crap, and they never get watched. Nobody reads this tripe I'm spewing on my blog. Why else do you think I stopped posting here? Did you think I'd gotten a life? Like hell.

Anyway, I'm just rambling now, so I guess I'll sign off. Just one last thing: I might be doing some stand-up at an open mic night this Friday. It's at the Rolling Stone pub in Burnt Hills, so on the off chance anyone I know from the area is reading this, come see me sometime around 8ish on Friday night. Maybe we can catch up and I can pretend to remember who you are. It might be fun.

Alright, that's enough of that. Peace and love, you crazy kids.

Re: Anniversary

My parents are off celebrating their wedding anniversary, and they'll be gone until Wednesday. They've been together some 30 years now. God, they're so old. I love them, though.

Meanwhile, my little sister plans on throwing a raging party while they're gone. I'll have to try to keep things under control. As long as the cops don't show up, I'll be happy.

Not much else going on at the moment. Hopefully I'll have some exciting news soon. By "exciting," I mean mildly interesting. And by "soon," I mean before Christmas.

Re: Life (Updates)

Strap in, because for once I have a lot to talk about.

Well, I finally did it. I shaved off my beard. So, I now get to look even younger than I did before. Ladies, the next move is yours.

Also, it appears that I don't suck at drawing quite as much as I thought. I'm getting better with practice, so my idea about doing a webcomic is actually coming closer to reality. I have a deviantart profile set up as a base of operations for now, at least until I decide on a place to host the strips. You can see a couple early sketches there now. I'll update here and elsewhere when my bastard brainchild finds a home.

And I'm back to working with Home Delivered Meals, if I didn't mention that already. I was supposed to be signed up for 3 mornings a week, but I keep getting asked to fill in, and I can't really say no because I need the money. Two hours and change baking in the morning sun can really take a lot out of me, so I don't like doing a lot of days in a row. Counting today, this weekend and next week, I'll have 6 days in a row. I know it seems like I shouldn't complain about such a short job, but I have to do a lot of running around town in those two to three hours, not to mention dealing with the occasional person who's less than happy to see you. And did I mention, Schenectady sucks. I'm covering someone's route this weekend, so that's two straight days right in the thick of it. My normal weekday route through the Niskayuna area isn't too bad (aside from that one guy who seems to be the bane of every other driver's existence). Maybe I'm just a wimp. Meh.

Oh, and incredibly, I still haven't gotten tired of TinierMe. I don't know why, but I like it. I've met some cool people, and I like collecting different clothes and crap, and playing the occasional games. If you care, my name on there is Tycoonius, and I accept pretty much all friend requests. To me, rejecting a friend request is insulting. Adding them as a friend and then quietly deleting them later is so much sneakier, and doesn't give me a guilt trip.

On the gaming front, I'm still married to my Wii. I still haven't tried to finish Muramasa yet, but I think I'll get to it eventually. In the meanwhile, the Hollywood Video near my house went out of business and I raided their collection before they closed. 3 games for about $30; not bad. Manhunt 2, I've been glued to that for a while now. I don't play every day, but often enough to say I'm really into it. The other two are de Blob, which is fun but just reeks of communist propaganda, and NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams. If the first game didn't cement it in you mind, this game confirms that NiGHTS is in fact the most androgynous character ever conceived. His/her voice actor is one of those female actors who usually does voices for young boys because she has a bit of masculinity in her tone. It's impossible to tell whether NiGHTS is intended to be a guy, a girl, or neither. Weirdness. On the bright side, Reala is still a bad-ass.

Here's another thing I remembered recently: you know that idea I had about a sport that would basically simulate a fighting game? Well, since discovering the wonder that is Nerf weapons, I'm starting to think this could really work. Come on, who wouldn't want to whack their friend with a nerf sword? And it would be good for anyone who has ever considered LARPing for the fights but was turned off by the dorky costumes. I really think this could catch on. I'm going to try to put a group together at SUNY IT in the fall, but if anyone wants to try this out before then, you know where to find me.

And guess what? George Thorogood and the Destroyers, whose show I attended last year, are coming back to Albany this August, and I roped the whole family into going with me. That should be fun. Now, I just wish I could get Nickelback/3 Days Grace/Buckcherry tickets... We'll see I guess.

Also, fuck you Facebook. Fuck you and your addictive apps and your viral invites. I swear, I will quit altogether one of these days, but for now Castle Age keeps pulling me back in.

And speaking of online games, BvS has had a ton of updates (McMasters got me hooked on mahjong), with more on the way. I'm still playing daily and loving it all. If you like simple browser-based games at all and/or consider yourself an anime fan (ie. if you either love or hate Naruto), give it a look. If you sign up, enter my guy's name in the referral field for some bonus stamina (It won't help me at this point; I've already got all the referral items).



I think that's about it for now. Peace and love, you crazy kids.

Have you shaved off your beard and embraced the girly boy look yet. Seriously the ladies love that shit these days.

Not yet. I've been getting mixed messages on this, really. Some people think I look better with a beard.

What do you want to know?

Re: McMasters of BvS

Quote from the latest entry in the news feed:

"Tuesday 6/1 (13:44):

For the next week, EvilTaxi will have 11 HP as a Kaiju because MY DS HAS BEEN IN HIS FREAKING CAR FOR LIKE FOUR MONTHS AND HE NEVER NOTICED IT. I even ASKED HIM to LOOK IN HIS CAR and he was all "HURPADURR I DON SEE IT". He even CLEANED HIS CAR OUT FOR A CON AND DIDN'T SEE IT.
GREATER THAN UNDERSCORE LESS THAN, TAXI."

Awesome.

Re: China

You have to admit, this would never happen in New York.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.