Of Tahoes and Toothbrushes

A couple things I'd like to talk about. First, I am pleased to discover that my Chevy Tahoe commercial still hasn't been deleted by the GM censor patrol. I don't think I'm going to win or anything, but at least it wasn't purged from the site.
Click Here to see Dan's Chevy Tahoe commerical

Second, I have a pretty big and exciting announcement. Are you ready for this? I recently bought a new toothbrush! Incredibly exciting, right? But wait, there's more. Only after getting it did I realize that it was no ordinary toothbrush. This was some new kind of toothbrush that is supposedly more comfortable to hold, as well as better at cleaning my teeth. How could that be? Take a look at this thing:



Okay, I guess you can't tell much from the thumbnail, but the head of this thing is insanely huge. I couldn't find a ruler to be sure, but it's at least 4 inches long, and bristles are just under 2 inches tall. Clearly, this toothbrush was designed specifically for my friend Matt Schunk, as he's the only one on the planet with a mouth big enough to feel comfortable with this thing. I can, with some effort, brush my teeth with this thing, but it was difficult at first. After getting the hang of it, though, I find myself finishing in half the time, as the head is so big it can brush twice as many teeth simultaneously. Really, that's enough to make this crazy brush worth talking about, but look at the rest of it:



Why my camera was so blurry that day, I'll never know. For now, I'll blame it on either ghosts or ninjas. But all joking aside, look at the handle. Completely clear plastic wrapped in a strange pattern of blue rubber-like substance. I can't be sure what the blue stuff is, but I can guarantee it was first developed by NASA. It's supposed to be comfortable to hold. Really, it's not uncomfortable, but lack of discomfort does not make something comfortable. Wait... okay, maybe that didn't make sense. The point is, I didn't outright mind holding the thing, but I sure didn't find myself going "Wow, now this is a comfortable toothbrush!"

One last picture I wanted to show, since it's the only one that didn't look totally lame:



Not sure why that one came out better. Anyway, you can clearly see that this bizarre contraption being passed off as a toothbrush is not a common household dental care item. I'm still not sure exactly where the technology put into this thing came from originally, or how it fell into my possession, but I will be on the lookout for any new information. If anyone else thinks they have a plausible explanation for this thing, or if you have your own theories about its true origin and purpose, email me at d4nm4y3r@yahoo.com.