Thursday, September 07, 2006

Erratic Update/Harrowing Tale: I got my PS2 back.

It's actually quite the story. There's intrigue, betrayal, revenge, and murder. At least, there would have been if Schunk hadn't caved so easy.

I lent my PS2 to my friend/arch nemesis. I didn't have a tv, and figured he could get better use out of it than me. I was being quite generous, considering Schunk has a track record of being untrustworthy, brash, reckless, and kind of a dick. Still, I somehow in the back of my mind thought I was going to get it back in time for my birthday trip home (which is this Saturday, by the way)

I talked with him on AIM a bit earlier this week, and it was obvious he didn't want to give it up. So, I devised a scheme to get it back. While he was away at practice or something, I was going to sneak into the room and retrieve the console, along with the game I lent him. (which I still own him in)

However, it was not to be. You see, I'm not the 1337 ninja I make myself out to be. Though I can get into Benoit House on my own with ease, opening the door to Schunk's room is a little beyond my skill set. So, I figured I'd get a co-conspirator: Schunk's roomate, and my former roomate, whom we will refer to as Big Guy, because his real name is wholy uninteresting.

The following AIM conversation is real. Only the name has been changed to protect the guilty. I'll let it speak for itself.

danmayerisgod (12:13:18 PM): Hey, Big Guy. It's Dan. Shunk isn't there, is he?
MJtheDealer (12:13:31 PM): hahaha yea he is
danmayerisgod (12:13:36 PM): dammit
danmayerisgod (12:13:52 PM): I want to sneak in there when he's not around and take the ps2 back
MJtheDealer (12:14:19 PM): yea... hes been sleepin since his prac
danmayerisgod (12:14:36 PM): will you IM me when he leaves?
MJtheDealer (12:14:52 PM): im not sure wen hes leavin
MJtheDealer (12:14:59 PM): i have class soon
danmayerisgod (12:15:44 PM): Well, maybe later.
MJtheDealer (12:16:01 PM): yea its a gamble for u danny boy
MJtheDealer (12:16:12 PM): jus beat up schunk and take it
danmayerisgod (12:16:24 PM): is he a really sound sleeper?
danmayerisgod (12:16:31 PM): if so, I could just come get it now
MJtheDealer (12:16:44 PM): nah hes not
MJtheDealer (12:16:53 PM): actually hes awake now
MJtheDealer (12:17:40 PM): but... danny boy i gotta get goin
MJtheDealer (12:17:45 PM): good luck w/ the ps2
danmayerisgod (12:17:45 PM): alright, I'll see about it later tonight. If he's still there, I'm just gonna walk in and take it anyway.
danmayerisgod (12:17:52 PM): later
MJtheDealer went away at 12:18:06 PM.

A few moments later, I had this conversation with Schunk:

sexecutioner044 (12:18:24 PM): what the fuck do u think ur doing
danmayerisgod (12:18:35 PM): ?
sexecutioner044 (12:18:53 PM): dont play games w/ me danny boy
sexecutioner044 (12:18:59 PM): ur gonna sneak in here
danmayerisgod (12:19:09 PM): you look at Big Guy's screen or something?
danmayerisgod (12:19:14 PM): or did he just tell you?
sexecutioner044 (12:19:20 PM): u make me sick
sexecutioner044 went away at 12:19:30 PM.

Yes, Big Guy betrayed my trust and told Schunk all about it. I was as shocked and apalled as you probably are now.

Naturally, I couldn't let this stand. After I got back to my room that night after dinner, I sent Schunk a final ultimatum. At least, I was going to, until he decided to draw out the cat and mouse game even further.

(When you're reading this, keep in mind that I don't believe a word he's saying. I'm playing along to test his mettle and call his bluff, and he in turn stands strong. This is how arch nemeses interact)

sexecutioner044 (9:38:03 PM): i threw out ur ps2
danmayerisgod (9:38:13 PM): fuck you
sexecutioner044 (9:38:30 PM): i got bored w/ it
sexecutioner044 (9:38:35 PM): do u have a tv yet
danmayerisgod (9:38:39 PM): soon
danmayerisgod (9:38:41 PM): very soon
sexecutioner044 (9:38:52 PM): i dont believe u
danmayerisgod (9:39:10 PM): my birthday's saturday
sexecutioner044 (9:39:51 PM): well its too bad u wont have a ps2 to celebrate w/
danmayerisgod (9:40:34 PM): well, are you sure it's not still there somewhere?
sexecutioner044 (9:40:49 PM): i let my friend borrow it
danmayerisgod (9:41:12 PM): which friend now?
sexecutioner044 (9:41:22 PM): some big tough kid
sexecutioner044 (9:41:31 PM): he said hes keeping it
danmayerisgod (9:41:35 PM): what's his name. I'll get it from him
sexecutioner044 (9:41:40 PM): hes 300 lbs and hes black
danmayerisgod (9:41:48 PM): name? room #?
sexecutioner044 (9:41:59 PM): his name is bonecrusher mcgoo
sexecutioner044 (9:42:10 PM): he lives in sheahan 214
danmayerisgod (9:42:29 PM): well, what are you doing tomorrow morning?
sexecutioner044 (9:42:38 PM): lacrosse
sexecutioner044 (9:42:40 PM): then class
danmayerisgod (9:42:48 PM): leave your door unlocked
sexecutioner044 (9:42:56 PM): i dont have ps2
sexecutioner044 (9:43:00 PM): mcgoo has it
danmayerisgod (9:43:08 PM): I can pick the lock if I have to
sexecutioner044 (9:43:15 PM): so be it
danmayerisgod (9:43:46 PM): maybe I should just come over now so I won't have to bother matt tomorrow
sexecutioner044 (9:43:54 PM): i dont have it
sexecutioner044 went away at 9:44:08 PM.
danmayerisgod (9:44:21 PM): You cannot hide.

Auto Response from sexecutioner044 (9:44:22 PM): Whatcha gonna do when Schunkamania runs wild on you?!?!?!

danmayerisgod (9:44:29 PM): I know where you live.

Auto Response from sexecutioner044 (9:44:29 PM): Whatcha gonna do when Schunkamania runs wild on you?!?!?!

And I did, indeed. Believe me, as much as I enjoy his antics, I'm not one to play cat and mouse all day. It was time to reclaim what was rightfully mine. (Holy crap, that sounded corny. My apologies) I went directly over to his room. The fool left it unlocked, but he wasn't alone. It turns out he was playing FIFA on the PS2 at that very moment. Well, I'm not one to back down. I told him why I was there. He naturally tried to continue with his evasive antics. I put up with it for a few minutes, but quickly tired of it. I stood my ground and laid down the law. Finally, after much cajolling (did I spell that right?), he caved when I called his final bluff. He said that Trey had a PS2, just not the power cord. He said he'd give the PS2 back if he could just keep the cord. Much to his dismay, I agreed. I got the PS2 back, and on top of that, managed to erode his mettle enough to get the power cord as well.

So, despite many perils, I won the day, and have the prize in my possession. And yet, the story is not over. This is but the end of a chapter in a long book. You see, our last Tag Team Title match was left undecided, and I plan to bring the titles back home where they belong, be it in SD!vs.RAW 2006, or SD!vs.RAW 2007. To paraphrase my worthy nemesis:

"Whatcha gonna do, brother?! Whatcha gonna do when Dannyboymania runs wild on you?!?!?!"


  1. Anonymous2:14 PM

    The question is why didn't you just have your Current Roomate (Ahem) who lived in benoit (shudder) and knows how to unlock the windows to get into rooms go get it for you... Unless he lives on the second floor then you'd be fucked.

    *Blows his cover*
    Great now you know I read this and I'll never get the fun/potentially awkward moment of when you write something about me... Evil ruse ended only three weeks into the game. Oh well.


  2. Actually, he does live on the second floor. I wouldn't have wanted to make you do something like that and dredge up old memories anyway.

    I kind of knew you read this, though I wasn't sure whether you still did. I usually write stuff here going on the assumption that either no one on the planet or everyone on the planet will read it. Plus, if I really had something mean to say about you, I'd probably want to say it to your face.

    Also, thanks for posting this here as opposed to saying it directly to me when I got back. I always support unnecessary media of communication. Ideally, everyone in the world would always communicate via email, AIM, cell phone or forum, even if they're sitting in the same room. It would seem strange at first, but at least it'd be quiet as hell all the time.

  3. Anonymous9:00 PM

    I'm simply better at expressing my thoughts over the internet opposed to face to face conversation. I do spend a lot of time in these here internets.