I'm doing better than I was when I wrote that last post. Still not great, but a lot better. I've gotten back into drawing finally, my hygiene is better... it's a start, anyway. Still have to find a way to sleep at night, then not sleep during the day, but I'll keep working on it.
The Sallie Mae business is more or less taken care of. My family generously took care of the outstanding balance (which I still think shouldn't have been there in the first place, but what can I do?) I've at least had a chance to reduce the payments, so hopefully we won't have any more of this crap.
Beyond that, I'm hoping I'll get enough done on my one novel project to submit that soon. I still have no idea if publishers will accept partial manuscripts or not, but I'm guessing not.
That's about it. Goodnight, all.
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Just felt like bitching and moaning
The title says it all. This is meant to be therapeutic for me, mainly, so don't expect anything especially captivating or interesting in this post.
For those who haven't heard, I dropped out of school. Again. Apparently I can't handle real life very well. Honestly, I had the easiest semester you could possibly imagine while still maintaining full-time status, and I still couldn't handle it. I've been too mind-numbingly depressed for any kind of responsibility at all. I have definitely lost all faith in the ability of medicine to help me manage my symptoms. I need to make some serious changes, that's for sure.
I'm sure the whole situation wasn't helped by how jaded I've become to the notion of finishing my degree. Especially since learning just how little all my CS studies have actually prepared me for a career in programming. Look at any careers or help wanted site; the demand for programmers right now revolves almost entirely around people who are experts in .NET, Flex, PHP, the Android environment, the Facebook platform, and pretty much everything to do with social networking, mobile applications and various other up-and-coming web platforms that I NEVER learned a thing about.
All I learned from some 5 years of college was some Java (not enough to make anything really cool with), C++ and C#, a semester of Scheme (which is great because 1, nobody fucking knows what Scheme is let alone uses it, and 2, I can't remember shit about it now anyway), a little Unix experience (again, not enough to do anything with), and a stockpile of general theoretical bullshit relating to operating systems and application development. I'm sure at least some of it has better prepared me to learn new languages or platforms, but that's not what employers are looking for now. They're not looking for interns to spend weeks teaching how to do shit in the hopes they'll be useful employees someday. They want people who already have training and experience working on these kinds of projects. That's something I never really got.
Seriously, higher education is a giant waste of money in absolutely every way. I'm essentially one semester away from having a degree, and I almost don't want to bother anymore. The only way it helps me is if I find an employer stupid enough to think a Bachelor's is any kind of substitute for actual contract work.
Also, I'm pretty sure now I thoroughly hate the general concept of dating and all the drama that surrounds it. I definitely hate relationships, and not just the romantic variety. I genuinely despise interacting with other people in virtually all settings.
It's probably worth mentioning, I definitely hate the way things have been turning out with a certain girl I know. I knew from the start we were better off just being friends, but she expressed what I thought was a serious interest in me. We kept hanging out, and God help me, I started falling for her. I liked her as more than just a friend, and I was attracted to her both physically and mentally. Then, just when it seemed like things were getting serious, and I had come to actually welcome that possibility, she kindly reminded me that she's still not over her ex, and likely won't be anytime soon.
So, we float now in the friend zone, slowly drifting further apart with each passing day, and I'm pretty much sick from the whole thing. I shared things with this girl I never share with anyone. I let myself get closer than I ever do with anyone, and made myself vulnerable because I wanted to believe it might work out. Well, as it turned out, I was right from the beginning. We would've been way better off if we'd stayed friends like we started out, but no, things had to get complicated. It's just a rotten mess. I can't talk naturally and candidly with her like I used to. I feel awkward and stupid, and I basically just don't even want to talk to her anymore, because whatever connection we had before got all fucked up.
Anyway, I don't know what's next for us. I'm guessing we'll slowly just stop communicating altogether, just like every other friend I've ever had. I don't want that to happen. I'd love it if I could go back to being comfortable talking to her again, or even take things further than that, but I know me, and I know it's very unlikely I'll ever be able to really care about someone like that again.
I find lately that I will cry during some romantic movies or family-type things. I know why it happens, too. It's never when something tragic is happening; it's always when someone is talking about true love or something similar. I cry when that happens because I know it's all bullshit. I cry because those moments remind me what a total farce the whole concept of love is. It's not the beautiful interpersonal connection it's portrayed as.
Here's what love is: you open your heart to someone, and sometimes they'll open theirs to you as well, and for a few fleeting moments you can be happy together. Mostly, though, when you open your heart to them, all you've really done is made it possible for them to injure you emotionally. And they will. A lot, whether they mean to or not. In all likelihood, if you were in sync enough, you'll be hurting them at the same time. You can probably still make each other happy if you really try, but the happiness is pathetically fleeting. The hurt lasts much longer.
On a different note, the dream blog I started isn't seeing much use, since I'm remembering my dreams even less than I used to. I guess I have to work on my diet.
Things I currently should be doing that I'm not: working out, sleeping regularly, watching my diet, bathing regularly, finding a job, writing, drawing, reading, playing Wii games (to improve my endorphine levels or whatever), trying to get published, practicing my C# skills, learning a musical instrument and/or how to sing. Really, any one of these would be nice.
What I am doing most of the time is finding any way I can to waste time and temporarily distract myself from the fact that I wish with every fiber of my being that I was dead. Don't worry, though, I'm sure I won't try to kill myself. That would require some form of commitment on my part, and God knows that won't happen. I never achieve anything I aspire to regardless of the level of effort I put in, so why knock myself out?
So, I think I'll sign off for now. I'd close with another 'peace and love,' but why keep perpetuating bullshit myths?
For those who haven't heard, I dropped out of school. Again. Apparently I can't handle real life very well. Honestly, I had the easiest semester you could possibly imagine while still maintaining full-time status, and I still couldn't handle it. I've been too mind-numbingly depressed for any kind of responsibility at all. I have definitely lost all faith in the ability of medicine to help me manage my symptoms. I need to make some serious changes, that's for sure.
I'm sure the whole situation wasn't helped by how jaded I've become to the notion of finishing my degree. Especially since learning just how little all my CS studies have actually prepared me for a career in programming. Look at any careers or help wanted site; the demand for programmers right now revolves almost entirely around people who are experts in .NET, Flex, PHP, the Android environment, the Facebook platform, and pretty much everything to do with social networking, mobile applications and various other up-and-coming web platforms that I NEVER learned a thing about.
All I learned from some 5 years of college was some Java (not enough to make anything really cool with), C++ and C#, a semester of Scheme (which is great because 1, nobody fucking knows what Scheme is let alone uses it, and 2, I can't remember shit about it now anyway), a little Unix experience (again, not enough to do anything with), and a stockpile of general theoretical bullshit relating to operating systems and application development. I'm sure at least some of it has better prepared me to learn new languages or platforms, but that's not what employers are looking for now. They're not looking for interns to spend weeks teaching how to do shit in the hopes they'll be useful employees someday. They want people who already have training and experience working on these kinds of projects. That's something I never really got.
Seriously, higher education is a giant waste of money in absolutely every way. I'm essentially one semester away from having a degree, and I almost don't want to bother anymore. The only way it helps me is if I find an employer stupid enough to think a Bachelor's is any kind of substitute for actual contract work.
Also, I'm pretty sure now I thoroughly hate the general concept of dating and all the drama that surrounds it. I definitely hate relationships, and not just the romantic variety. I genuinely despise interacting with other people in virtually all settings.
It's probably worth mentioning, I definitely hate the way things have been turning out with a certain girl I know. I knew from the start we were better off just being friends, but she expressed what I thought was a serious interest in me. We kept hanging out, and God help me, I started falling for her. I liked her as more than just a friend, and I was attracted to her both physically and mentally. Then, just when it seemed like things were getting serious, and I had come to actually welcome that possibility, she kindly reminded me that she's still not over her ex, and likely won't be anytime soon.
So, we float now in the friend zone, slowly drifting further apart with each passing day, and I'm pretty much sick from the whole thing. I shared things with this girl I never share with anyone. I let myself get closer than I ever do with anyone, and made myself vulnerable because I wanted to believe it might work out. Well, as it turned out, I was right from the beginning. We would've been way better off if we'd stayed friends like we started out, but no, things had to get complicated. It's just a rotten mess. I can't talk naturally and candidly with her like I used to. I feel awkward and stupid, and I basically just don't even want to talk to her anymore, because whatever connection we had before got all fucked up.
Anyway, I don't know what's next for us. I'm guessing we'll slowly just stop communicating altogether, just like every other friend I've ever had. I don't want that to happen. I'd love it if I could go back to being comfortable talking to her again, or even take things further than that, but I know me, and I know it's very unlikely I'll ever be able to really care about someone like that again.
I find lately that I will cry during some romantic movies or family-type things. I know why it happens, too. It's never when something tragic is happening; it's always when someone is talking about true love or something similar. I cry when that happens because I know it's all bullshit. I cry because those moments remind me what a total farce the whole concept of love is. It's not the beautiful interpersonal connection it's portrayed as.
Here's what love is: you open your heart to someone, and sometimes they'll open theirs to you as well, and for a few fleeting moments you can be happy together. Mostly, though, when you open your heart to them, all you've really done is made it possible for them to injure you emotionally. And they will. A lot, whether they mean to or not. In all likelihood, if you were in sync enough, you'll be hurting them at the same time. You can probably still make each other happy if you really try, but the happiness is pathetically fleeting. The hurt lasts much longer.
On a different note, the dream blog I started isn't seeing much use, since I'm remembering my dreams even less than I used to. I guess I have to work on my diet.
Things I currently should be doing that I'm not: working out, sleeping regularly, watching my diet, bathing regularly, finding a job, writing, drawing, reading, playing Wii games (to improve my endorphine levels or whatever), trying to get published, practicing my C# skills, learning a musical instrument and/or how to sing. Really, any one of these would be nice.
What I am doing most of the time is finding any way I can to waste time and temporarily distract myself from the fact that I wish with every fiber of my being that I was dead. Don't worry, though, I'm sure I won't try to kill myself. That would require some form of commitment on my part, and God knows that won't happen. I never achieve anything I aspire to regardless of the level of effort I put in, so why knock myself out?
So, I think I'll sign off for now. I'd close with another 'peace and love,' but why keep perpetuating bullshit myths?
Monday, May 02, 2011
I really shouldn't have to hear this bull today
Despite having real-life things to write about, it took something like this to make me passionate enough to write again.
So, if you've been living under a rock, Osama bin Laden has been killed. Hard evidence hasn't been shared yet, but the story seems legit to me so far, and I gotta say I'm very hopeful they really got him this time.
That said, it never ceases to amaze me how, even on a day like this, people who buy in to conspiracy BS always manage to cast a sour feeling over what should be a celebratory day. I'll tell you right now, I am NOT revisiting why 9/11 wasn't an inside job. I will, however, share my feelings regarding today, and regarding comments like the following quote, which in my opinion have been far too numerous.
"Osama Ben Laden was the "bad son" of the Ben Laden family. The Bushes had been in league with the Ben Laden over oil revenues for 25 years when he died. (?) The fact that this never came to the fore during investigations seems ...interesting. 911 was a set up. It is politicians and their money playing games that cost lives and inspire fear and hatred in the masses. Most of us are "Sheeple" and so cannot (or will not) think for themselves. I know you've seen the movie, now read the book;) I don't see anyone demanding Bushes head on a stick..and he has done the largest amount of physical, emotional, financial, and civilian damage. Get your head out of your asses..you can be American and not believe in your government. Patriotic means that you have your countrymen at heart.
Most Americans are not aware that 100% of the constitution has been ammended with clauses to allow the government to simply bypass said rights when they feel the time suits. Bullshit?..Whatever. no way. Couldn't be.
Like I said..Read the book. There is something to be said for looking deeper."
I will not disclose any information about the person who wrote that, on the off chance they might actually regret saying it someday.
First off, I'm really bothered that someone can attack people for "not thinking for themselves" while simultaneously spewing verbatim some theory they heard from someone else without bothering to research any of it. That level of hypocrisy kind of scares me.
Second, I don't think this day has anything to do with whether or not we should trust our government. I personally think our government is trustworthy at least sometimes, but that's besides the point. Bin Laden is dead. He was one of the most evil guys on Earth, and they shot him dead. You have to be in some serious denial to think that we're not better off without him. Granted, some people argue that this will enrage radicals into retaliating, but let's be honest: these people already dedicated their lives to hating everything about the West and trying to kill us all. I seriously doubt this will amount to a big change in their plans. It's not like they were thinking, "Well, maybe the West isn't really the biggest evil... Wait, what? They killed Osama? Well, that settles it! Death to America! I'll never doubt again."
I want to be brief with this, because I know nothing good will ever come from trying to rationally debate people such as the one who wrote the comment above, so I'll close with the following:
Whatever your political beliefs, you surely acknowledge that the spread of blind hatred and murderous rage is a bad thing. Osama bin Laden made a lifetime commitment of making his followers hate not only the West, but anyone who didn't agree with their extreme views. They mercilessly killed countless innocent people, and no doubt will continue to after today. Osama being dead at least accomplishes two things:
1) It gives survivors of 9/11 some feeling of solace or closure, that their lost loved ones were not forgotten after nearly 10 years, and one of the men responsible was taken out of the equation.
2) It sends a message to the terrorists of the world that their actions won't be tolerated. I'm sure few of them have enough humanity left in their hearts to fear for even their own safety, but if this means even a few terrorists give up on their cause, I'd say it has been worth it.
That's all I'll say on this. Peace and love, you crazy kids.
So, if you've been living under a rock, Osama bin Laden has been killed. Hard evidence hasn't been shared yet, but the story seems legit to me so far, and I gotta say I'm very hopeful they really got him this time.
That said, it never ceases to amaze me how, even on a day like this, people who buy in to conspiracy BS always manage to cast a sour feeling over what should be a celebratory day. I'll tell you right now, I am NOT revisiting why 9/11 wasn't an inside job. I will, however, share my feelings regarding today, and regarding comments like the following quote, which in my opinion have been far too numerous.
"Osama Ben Laden was the "bad son" of the Ben Laden family. The Bushes had been in league with the Ben Laden over oil revenues for 25 years when he died. (?) The fact that this never came to the fore during investigations seems ...interesting. 911 was a set up. It is politicians and their money playing games that cost lives and inspire fear and hatred in the masses. Most of us are "Sheeple" and so cannot (or will not) think for themselves. I know you've seen the movie, now read the book;) I don't see anyone demanding Bushes head on a stick..and he has done the largest amount of physical, emotional, financial, and civilian damage. Get your head out of your asses..you can be American and not believe in your government. Patriotic means that you have your countrymen at heart.
Most Americans are not aware that 100% of the constitution has been ammended with clauses to allow the government to simply bypass said rights when they feel the time suits. Bullshit?..Whatever. no way. Couldn't be.
Like I said..Read the book. There is something to be said for looking deeper."
I will not disclose any information about the person who wrote that, on the off chance they might actually regret saying it someday.
First off, I'm really bothered that someone can attack people for "not thinking for themselves" while simultaneously spewing verbatim some theory they heard from someone else without bothering to research any of it. That level of hypocrisy kind of scares me.
Second, I don't think this day has anything to do with whether or not we should trust our government. I personally think our government is trustworthy at least sometimes, but that's besides the point. Bin Laden is dead. He was one of the most evil guys on Earth, and they shot him dead. You have to be in some serious denial to think that we're not better off without him. Granted, some people argue that this will enrage radicals into retaliating, but let's be honest: these people already dedicated their lives to hating everything about the West and trying to kill us all. I seriously doubt this will amount to a big change in their plans. It's not like they were thinking, "Well, maybe the West isn't really the biggest evil... Wait, what? They killed Osama? Well, that settles it! Death to America! I'll never doubt again."
I want to be brief with this, because I know nothing good will ever come from trying to rationally debate people such as the one who wrote the comment above, so I'll close with the following:
Whatever your political beliefs, you surely acknowledge that the spread of blind hatred and murderous rage is a bad thing. Osama bin Laden made a lifetime commitment of making his followers hate not only the West, but anyone who didn't agree with their extreme views. They mercilessly killed countless innocent people, and no doubt will continue to after today. Osama being dead at least accomplishes two things:
1) It gives survivors of 9/11 some feeling of solace or closure, that their lost loved ones were not forgotten after nearly 10 years, and one of the men responsible was taken out of the equation.
2) It sends a message to the terrorists of the world that their actions won't be tolerated. I'm sure few of them have enough humanity left in their hearts to fear for even their own safety, but if this means even a few terrorists give up on their cause, I'd say it has been worth it.
That's all I'll say on this. Peace and love, you crazy kids.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Updates; More to Come?
It's funny, how little I update things like this. Even my twitter account doesn't see that much use, and I'll tweet any stupid little thought that I feel like sharing. Could it be that whatever ridiculous narcissistic bug that has taken over the tech generation has passed me over somehow? Maybe. More than likely that just comes with the depression territory.
Speaking of which, I'm totally off meds for the first time in a while. I'm sleeping in weird intervals again, but otherwise the mood's been mostly good. I'm still not back in school yet, and haven't landed a job, but things are slowly changing.
It's probably worth noting that I seem to have a girlfriend-type person in my life now. Kind of big news for anybody who knows me, but I'm a little tired to talk about it now. I'll do a proper post about the whole thing soon.
Meanwhile, I have a few anti-poverty prospects upcoming very soon. For one, I've been following a certain radio show that holds a trivia gameshow every week. I'm not telling what the show is because the pot's getting big and you might be tempted to try for it yourself, and dammit I want the monneh!
Other than that, there's something more promising: a publisher is holding a sort of meet-and-greet to get to know some new authors. I plan on being there to show off some of my stuff. I somehow doubt my old novel is worth showing, but I'll bring a digital copy, along with one of my favorite short stories, a new book in progress, and maybe a couple other projects to sample.
Lastly, and this should be good because it's almost a guarantee: jury duty. I'm due in next week to serve, and they pay you for your time if you're unemployed or your job doesn't pay your time off. I'm sure most people would consider this boring, but considering we're talking about jury duty in Schenectady, I'm expecting some chuckle-worthy moments, if only in retelling the story later. You can expect to see a post about that next week.
So, yeah, as things are kind of picking up with my life finally, I might just start updating more regularly. There are at least 2 posts I plan on writing in the immediate future, so there's a start. In the meantime, I'm sure you'll find something else to amuse yourself with. I will, however, leave you with this:
Guess who hastwo thumbs a tired meme and got laid this week.
(No, not Bob Kelso. Me)
Anyway, that's it. Peace and love, you crazy kids.
Speaking of which, I'm totally off meds for the first time in a while. I'm sleeping in weird intervals again, but otherwise the mood's been mostly good. I'm still not back in school yet, and haven't landed a job, but things are slowly changing.
It's probably worth noting that I seem to have a girlfriend-type person in my life now. Kind of big news for anybody who knows me, but I'm a little tired to talk about it now. I'll do a proper post about the whole thing soon.
Meanwhile, I have a few anti-poverty prospects upcoming very soon. For one, I've been following a certain radio show that holds a trivia gameshow every week. I'm not telling what the show is because the pot's getting big and you might be tempted to try for it yourself, and dammit I want the monneh!
Other than that, there's something more promising: a publisher is holding a sort of meet-and-greet to get to know some new authors. I plan on being there to show off some of my stuff. I somehow doubt my old novel is worth showing, but I'll bring a digital copy, along with one of my favorite short stories, a new book in progress, and maybe a couple other projects to sample.
Lastly, and this should be good because it's almost a guarantee: jury duty. I'm due in next week to serve, and they pay you for your time if you're unemployed or your job doesn't pay your time off. I'm sure most people would consider this boring, but considering we're talking about jury duty in Schenectady, I'm expecting some chuckle-worthy moments, if only in retelling the story later. You can expect to see a post about that next week.
So, yeah, as things are kind of picking up with my life finally, I might just start updating more regularly. There are at least 2 posts I plan on writing in the immediate future, so there's a start. In the meantime, I'm sure you'll find something else to amuse yourself with. I will, however, leave you with this:
Guess who has
(No, not Bob Kelso. Me)
Anyway, that's it. Peace and love, you crazy kids.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
New: Dan's Dream Blog
So, I know I haven't posted crap here in a long time. Virtually nothing is happening in my life right now. Kind of met somebody, but it's not really going anywhere; thinking about getting a job and putting off my last semester of college a bit longer. You're not missing anything.
Anyway, just thought I'd let my reader(s) know I started a new dream blog. I've always been interested in the subject of lucid dreaming, and I need a means to remember my dreams for longer, so I figured this could be useful, and who knows, maybe even worth reading. Here's the first post:
Dan's Dream Blog: Lucid, 3/26 - 3/27/11: The Snakehead Incident: "For the sake of remembering my dreams, as well as maybe entertaining and informing others, I've started this dream blog. Here's the dream I ..."
So yeah, take a look. I'll still probably update here on anything interesting in my real life, but all dream stuff will go there. Peace and love, you crazy kids.
Anyway, just thought I'd let my reader(s) know I started a new dream blog. I've always been interested in the subject of lucid dreaming, and I need a means to remember my dreams for longer, so I figured this could be useful, and who knows, maybe even worth reading. Here's the first post:
Dan's Dream Blog: Lucid, 3/26 - 3/27/11: The Snakehead Incident: "For the sake of remembering my dreams, as well as maybe entertaining and informing others, I've started this dream blog. Here's the dream I ..."
So yeah, take a look. I'll still probably update here on anything interesting in my real life, but all dream stuff will go there. Peace and love, you crazy kids.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Re: Attention Whores
So yeah, some people just can't live without being the center of attention. I can't say I blame them. I enjoy unwarranted attention from others as well. There is of course a minor difference between me and some other people: I'm awesome. If people worship the ground I walk on, I say well, of course, why doesn't everyone? But we're getting off track here.
I haven't communicated with my arch nemesis in quite a while. Maybe I've just been too busy with stuff of my own, but anyway I guess I have to give credit where credit was due. Whereas I've pretty much let the Halloween tradition stagnate, this past year consisting of a crappy party in the lounge and not much else, Schunk has continued to take the tradition seriously. This past year, unbeknownst to me, he constructed yet another memorable Halloween costume. Well, I just got to see the pictures recently, and I guess it's time I said something.
Schunk of course cropped the other guy out of this shot, because God forbid the spotlight should be taken off of him.
Well, first thing's first: I have to point out how deeply disturbed I am by the sight of Schunk in shorts that are this short. Other than that, I have to admit the ensemble is pretty accurate. The wig, the mustache, the colorful attire. He's a dead ringer for Lady GaGa.
Okay, I kid. Obviously it's a Hulk Hogan costume, and a pretty convincing one. Looking at this pic above I almost expect to see a Rent-A-Center logo in the corner. I have to say I was a little saddened to see Hulk in such a commercial, but I can't blame him. Whatcha gonna do, brother? Whatcha gonna do, when the IRS runs wild on you?
So I guess that's about it. Regardless of any homoerotic qualities the outfit might have, I have to give Schunk credit for putting together a good Halloween costume when I was too lazy to do so. What's more, he successfully tricked me into looking at all his latest Facebook photos. Between the Hulkamania pics, the green man molesting some poor boy and whatever the fuck this is, I think I need to pull my eyeballs out of my head and scrub them with steel wool.
You win this round, Schunk. But rest assured, once the nightmares subside, I will have my revenge. In the meantime, I hope you had a good holiday season and a happy new year. Talk to me if you want; I'm not hard to get ahold of. To everyone else, peace and love.
I haven't communicated with my arch nemesis in quite a while. Maybe I've just been too busy with stuff of my own, but anyway I guess I have to give credit where credit was due. Whereas I've pretty much let the Halloween tradition stagnate, this past year consisting of a crappy party in the lounge and not much else, Schunk has continued to take the tradition seriously. This past year, unbeknownst to me, he constructed yet another memorable Halloween costume. Well, I just got to see the pictures recently, and I guess it's time I said something.
Schunk of course cropped the other guy out of this shot, because God forbid the spotlight should be taken off of him.
Well, first thing's first: I have to point out how deeply disturbed I am by the sight of Schunk in shorts that are this short. Other than that, I have to admit the ensemble is pretty accurate. The wig, the mustache, the colorful attire. He's a dead ringer for Lady GaGa.
Okay, I kid. Obviously it's a Hulk Hogan costume, and a pretty convincing one. Looking at this pic above I almost expect to see a Rent-A-Center logo in the corner. I have to say I was a little saddened to see Hulk in such a commercial, but I can't blame him. Whatcha gonna do, brother? Whatcha gonna do, when the IRS runs wild on you?
So I guess that's about it. Regardless of any homoerotic qualities the outfit might have, I have to give Schunk credit for putting together a good Halloween costume when I was too lazy to do so. What's more, he successfully tricked me into looking at all his latest Facebook photos. Between the Hulkamania pics, the green man molesting some poor boy and whatever the fuck this is, I think I need to pull my eyeballs out of my head and scrub them with steel wool.
You win this round, Schunk. But rest assured, once the nightmares subside, I will have my revenge. In the meantime, I hope you had a good holiday season and a happy new year. Talk to me if you want; I'm not hard to get ahold of. To everyone else, peace and love.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
RIP
Marlon Hutchinson, my grandfather, passed away early this morning. I can't say I was surprised, given he's been battling cancer for most of the past year. Nevertheless, he will be missed.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry whatever you celebrate
I'll have some choice words for a certain guy whose last name sounds like a comic book sound effect, but that's later. For now, I'm enjoying my holiday. You enjoy this:
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Monday, December 06, 2010
The Mind of Man Rests
So, I figured I should mention here in case anyone still reads this: there's a bit of a scavenger hunt going on across the 'net. It's all about this phrase:
"The mind of man rests on a delicate balance between reality - the world of light, and the other darker world below the threshold of consciousness... and it is from this world of darkness which comes the evil destructive forces in man's nature."
This thing has been showing up all over, as you can see in the description of this video. No one seems to know what film or show or whatever the audio is from. I'm guessing I'm a little late to the party here, but to my knowledge the answer hasn't been found yet.
Anyway, this has really piqued my curiosity, so even if I'm not the winner, I want to know what the quote is from. If anybody can help me, I'd really appreciate it. If you actually help me win the scavenger hunt, I'll make love to your soul.
...Or I guess a simple thank-you works, too. And maybe I'll give you like $5 if you have paypal.
On a related note, I can't help but feel that "The Mind of Man Rests" would be a great title for a book. Or maybe an alternative rock song. But don't get any bright ideas; I want to be the one who uses it for that purpose. Don't go using TMMR for your book's title, or I'll do mean, bizarre things to you, eventually confusing you to the point that you lose all grip on reality.
So, yeah, I'd welcome any help with this. If we don't win, thanks anyway for trying. And by all means let me know if you hear that phrase somewhere else.
"The mind of man rests on a delicate balance between reality - the world of light, and the other darker world below the threshold of consciousness... and it is from this world of darkness which comes the evil destructive forces in man's nature."
This thing has been showing up all over, as you can see in the description of this video. No one seems to know what film or show or whatever the audio is from. I'm guessing I'm a little late to the party here, but to my knowledge the answer hasn't been found yet.
Anyway, this has really piqued my curiosity, so even if I'm not the winner, I want to know what the quote is from. If anybody can help me, I'd really appreciate it. If you actually help me win the scavenger hunt, I'll make love to your soul.
...Or I guess a simple thank-you works, too. And maybe I'll give you like $5 if you have paypal.
On a related note, I can't help but feel that "The Mind of Man Rests" would be a great title for a book. Or maybe an alternative rock song. But don't get any bright ideas; I want to be the one who uses it for that purpose. Don't go using TMMR for your book's title, or I'll do mean, bizarre things to you, eventually confusing you to the point that you lose all grip on reality.
So, yeah, I'd welcome any help with this. If we don't win, thanks anyway for trying. And by all means let me know if you hear that phrase somewhere else.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog-gonnit, people like me
Okay, so I guess I can stop feeling sorry for myself. I've pretty well gotten back on track academically, aside from a pending makeup test and some programming assignments I have to finish up. I seem to be on schedule to graduate in May, provided I pass my classes this semester. If I don't, I might just choose to take a break in the spring, but right now things are looking pretty good.
My only real problem at this point is my apparent inability to get that webcomic off the ground. I downloaded the software, I have scripts planned out, but I never seem to get around to drawing anything. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll make it happen this week, but I get the feeling I won't be ready to launch the website by the end of the year. So, that has me a little bummed.
Anyway, that's about it for now. I'll check in with more info whenever. Peace and love, you crazy kids.
My only real problem at this point is my apparent inability to get that webcomic off the ground. I downloaded the software, I have scripts planned out, but I never seem to get around to drawing anything. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll make it happen this week, but I get the feeling I won't be ready to launch the website by the end of the year. So, that has me a little bummed.
Anyway, that's about it for now. I'll check in with more info whenever. Peace and love, you crazy kids.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Re: Personal problems
I really don't like to write things here about my personal life if I can help it. The obvious exceptions are anecdotes that I think might be funny or at least enjoyable by someone. Of course, most of my life isn't that interesting, and so I have relatively little to write here. However, I feel tonight should break with tradition, if only to let people know what's going on.
To put it simply, I've been having a rough sort of depression relapse. I'm having a very hard time finding the will to even get out of bed in the morning. I think it's hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it, but suffice to say it's pretty amazing I haven't killed myself yet. I'm sure I have something to live for, but I'll be damned if I can think of what it is.
So, it's starting to look like I might be taking a break from school. I don't know yet what's going to happen, but it's fairly certain that I'm not graduating in May at this rate. So, I guess I don't know what's next for me. I'm getting some blood work done tomorrow, going to see a new doctor, maybe get some counseling. Other than that, it's a mystery.
Really, I hate this. I know how this must look to most people, and I feel totally pathetic, but this mess has gotten out of control. I'm not just depressed; there is something clinically wrong with me. Nobody should feel this way all the time for no reason.
Anyway, I'm hoping I'll find a way to turn this into something good. If I end up taking some time off, I'll try to make the most of it, either writing or drawing. I don't know, I just don't want to waste my damn life forever. In the meantime, though, I guess I'm sitting in front of the computer like an ass playing Castle Age and growing a beard. Could be worse, I guess. I could be playing World of Warcraft.
To put it simply, I've been having a rough sort of depression relapse. I'm having a very hard time finding the will to even get out of bed in the morning. I think it's hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it, but suffice to say it's pretty amazing I haven't killed myself yet. I'm sure I have something to live for, but I'll be damned if I can think of what it is.
So, it's starting to look like I might be taking a break from school. I don't know yet what's going to happen, but it's fairly certain that I'm not graduating in May at this rate. So, I guess I don't know what's next for me. I'm getting some blood work done tomorrow, going to see a new doctor, maybe get some counseling. Other than that, it's a mystery.
Really, I hate this. I know how this must look to most people, and I feel totally pathetic, but this mess has gotten out of control. I'm not just depressed; there is something clinically wrong with me. Nobody should feel this way all the time for no reason.
Anyway, I'm hoping I'll find a way to turn this into something good. If I end up taking some time off, I'll try to make the most of it, either writing or drawing. I don't know, I just don't want to waste my damn life forever. In the meantime, though, I guess I'm sitting in front of the computer like an ass playing Castle Age and growing a beard. Could be worse, I guess. I could be playing World of Warcraft.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Re: the RP stigma
This hopefully won't come as a shock to anyone, but I'm a total dork. As such, I feel right at home in online fantasy worlds like IMVU, and feel a certain kinship with roleplayers, or RPers if you're just too busy to write the damn word out.
Okay, so there's this poll going around about whether roleplayers deserve to have a subforum of their own on the IMVU forums. This would give them a place to discuss all things RP-related without being bothered by anyone, and without their discussions bothering anyone else.
Click to View the Poll
Regardless of what you think of roleplaying, this isn't rocket science. There are people on the forums who don't want roleplayers discussing their storylines, characters etc. in the Misc section or other parts of the forum where it's not really relevant, and the roleplayers want to have a central place where they can discuss their RP stuff without getting hassled (creating individual groups for this purpose hasn't been cutting it). Adding a subforum for roleplay-related discussion would make everyone happy.
Now, I could leave it at that, but I'll go one further and explain why the harassment these folks are getting is undeserved. If you don't care, feel free to stop reading now. Just go vote on that poll if you have an account, as it would be helping a good cause.
Here's the thing: a lot of people have this twisted perception of what "roleplaying" is. When some people hear the word roleplay, they immediately think of sex. Others may think of LARPers and DnD nerds dressing up as elves and doing creepy things in their parents' basement. The fact is, while those kinds of people might fall under the umbrella of "roleplaying", the term has a much broader definition.
Roleplaying is basically any time where you make up a fictional character (or characters) in a fictional setting and act out that character, typically in writing when we're referring to roleplay on the Internet. It's kind of like writing a fiction novel, but in multiplayer form. And there are all kinds of roleplay. Some people like to act out sexual fantasies with made up characters, while others just enjoy the writing exercise and the communities of people they meet.
The bottom line is, we all enjoyed playing make-believe as kids. Some of us are just under the ridiculous impression that it stops when we grow up. It doesn't. Actors and writers get payed to do it every day. And we do it whenever we watch, read, etc. What are movies, books and tv if not playing make-believe?
The truth is, a lot of people like to use their imagination, to imagine themselves in another person's shoes, in another time and place. This is what roleplaying is. Whether it's elves and orcs, angels and demons, or just plain old humans doing more interesting things than what you're doing right now. RPers are not freaks or sexual deviants or anything (most of them aren't, anyway >_>). For the most part they're just ordinary people who have a taste for the extraordinary.
So, yeah, to sum up, roleplayers are not all freaks. If you think so and treat them as such, you're a dickhead. Let them have their own forum section and quit being so god damn intolerant. "There are two kinds of people in this world I cannot tolerate: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch."
Okay, so there's this poll going around about whether roleplayers deserve to have a subforum of their own on the IMVU forums. This would give them a place to discuss all things RP-related without being bothered by anyone, and without their discussions bothering anyone else.
Click to View the Poll
Regardless of what you think of roleplaying, this isn't rocket science. There are people on the forums who don't want roleplayers discussing their storylines, characters etc. in the Misc section or other parts of the forum where it's not really relevant, and the roleplayers want to have a central place where they can discuss their RP stuff without getting hassled (creating individual groups for this purpose hasn't been cutting it). Adding a subforum for roleplay-related discussion would make everyone happy.
Now, I could leave it at that, but I'll go one further and explain why the harassment these folks are getting is undeserved. If you don't care, feel free to stop reading now. Just go vote on that poll if you have an account, as it would be helping a good cause.
Here's the thing: a lot of people have this twisted perception of what "roleplaying" is. When some people hear the word roleplay, they immediately think of sex. Others may think of LARPers and DnD nerds dressing up as elves and doing creepy things in their parents' basement. The fact is, while those kinds of people might fall under the umbrella of "roleplaying", the term has a much broader definition.
Roleplaying is basically any time where you make up a fictional character (or characters) in a fictional setting and act out that character, typically in writing when we're referring to roleplay on the Internet. It's kind of like writing a fiction novel, but in multiplayer form. And there are all kinds of roleplay. Some people like to act out sexual fantasies with made up characters, while others just enjoy the writing exercise and the communities of people they meet.
The bottom line is, we all enjoyed playing make-believe as kids. Some of us are just under the ridiculous impression that it stops when we grow up. It doesn't. Actors and writers get payed to do it every day. And we do it whenever we watch, read, etc. What are movies, books and tv if not playing make-believe?
The truth is, a lot of people like to use their imagination, to imagine themselves in another person's shoes, in another time and place. This is what roleplaying is. Whether it's elves and orcs, angels and demons, or just plain old humans doing more interesting things than what you're doing right now. RPers are not freaks or sexual deviants or anything (most of them aren't, anyway >_>). For the most part they're just ordinary people who have a taste for the extraordinary.
So, yeah, to sum up, roleplayers are not all freaks. If you think so and treat them as such, you're a dickhead. Let them have their own forum section and quit being so god damn intolerant. "There are two kinds of people in this world I cannot tolerate: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch."
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Another Lazy Update
What can I say? I have a lot of respect for Zach Weiner. He really has some powerful insights once in a while. Go read his comic if you're not already.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Re: Nov. 2nd
Did I vote today? No. Did I so much as find the motivation to leave my room today? Only to go to the bathroom once. You know, I hate to sound pathetic, but that's kind of how I'm feeling lately. I don't know if it's a problem with my meds or what, but it's getting harder to just get out of bed in the morning, or at all.
Of course, it doesn't help much that the political landscape is about as barren and depressing as it was this time 2 years ago. At least then we had Obama to be excited about. What is there now? I can't turn the tv on without seeing more ridiculous campaign ads trying to warp my perceptions of people. I'd be thrilled out of my mind if a candidate would just come forward and say what all their policies are, and the closest thing we've had to that was Basil Marceaux.
It's funny, really. In a sick sort of way. This basically describes our choices doesn't it? Go to the polling place and decide, do you want the country run by self-serving assholes or incompetent morons? Anyone with half a brain and a sense of morality became a doctor or fireman or something. They all stayed the hell out of politics.
Well, as much as I hate the prospect, I think I might just have to run for public office after all. Not now, obviously, but in my thirties when people might take me seriously. I don't want to be in charge of anything, and my time running a club on campus has proven I'm not entirely competent, but I have yet to see someone else come forward who I would entrust with our country's future.
Anyway, that's enough of my rambling tonight. Let me just close by saying this: do as I say and not as I do. Go vote if you haven't already. Of course if you're reading this it's probably too late anyway, but I felt I had to say it. Half the reason we have such awful people in charge is that the average person just doesn't care. The fact is, we have to care if we want things to ever get any better. So vote when you can, and pay attention to the political landscape. Do some research of your own on candidates you might like. If everyone can just start caring a little more, maybe we'll live up to the expectations of the greatest country in the world again.
As for me, I'm having a hard enough time caring whether I live or die, so don't look to me for advice on politics. Peace and love, all. Have a nice day, and uh, have a nice day.
Of course, it doesn't help much that the political landscape is about as barren and depressing as it was this time 2 years ago. At least then we had Obama to be excited about. What is there now? I can't turn the tv on without seeing more ridiculous campaign ads trying to warp my perceptions of people. I'd be thrilled out of my mind if a candidate would just come forward and say what all their policies are, and the closest thing we've had to that was Basil Marceaux.
It's funny, really. In a sick sort of way. This basically describes our choices doesn't it? Go to the polling place and decide, do you want the country run by self-serving assholes or incompetent morons? Anyone with half a brain and a sense of morality became a doctor or fireman or something. They all stayed the hell out of politics.
Well, as much as I hate the prospect, I think I might just have to run for public office after all. Not now, obviously, but in my thirties when people might take me seriously. I don't want to be in charge of anything, and my time running a club on campus has proven I'm not entirely competent, but I have yet to see someone else come forward who I would entrust with our country's future.
Anyway, that's enough of my rambling tonight. Let me just close by saying this: do as I say and not as I do. Go vote if you haven't already. Of course if you're reading this it's probably too late anyway, but I felt I had to say it. Half the reason we have such awful people in charge is that the average person just doesn't care. The fact is, we have to care if we want things to ever get any better. So vote when you can, and pay attention to the political landscape. Do some research of your own on candidates you might like. If everyone can just start caring a little more, maybe we'll live up to the expectations of the greatest country in the world again.
As for me, I'm having a hard enough time caring whether I live or die, so don't look to me for advice on politics. Peace and love, all. Have a nice day, and uh, have a nice day.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Re: Kristen
She's freaking cool and stuff. So yeah. Her blog is linked to in the sidebar somewhere. Go read it. I'm serious, do it right now. Why are you still reading this? Get your mouse over there and click, dammit.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Re: Reactions
I guess this is a new feature with blogger. "New" meaning anything that's been added in like a year because I'm clueless. Anyway, posts now have little reaction buttons at the bottom, so if you like a particular post and want me to write more like it, click the button that seems appropriate.
EDUT: Assuming I get them to work, that is.
EDUT: Assuming I get them to work, that is.
Re: Popularity
I'm wondering now what's better, to have millions of people think you're kind of cool, or to have a few select people think you're the coolest person ever. My knee-jerk reaction is to say the latter, but then having an exclusive fan club doesn't exactly translate to book sales, does it?
Anyway, I'm in an odd mood right now, so I thought I'd share. I'm realizing lately that, when communicating with people through means other than face-to-face conversation, I'm actually pretty fun to talk to. This is really no big surprise. I mean, even years ago I remember Jordan saying how I sound so much different on my blog than in person. (Incidentally, I wonder if he's still reading this...) I guess it just struck me recently how true this is for digital media in general.
I'm not going to go into specifics, but through no serious effort of my own, I seem to have become well liked by a handful of people I've never actually met. Which is cool in its own way, but I'm starting to wonder if maybe it should stay that way. Our having never met, I mean. I have this sinking feeling that if I were to meet any of these people in person, I would find a way to undo any positive image they had of me. It's funny, that by being myself online I am easily likable, but in real life I just don't have that capacity. I don't know why. I'd blame the depression, but that seems too easy. (I of course type this as I'm popping my second Prozac for the day)
So, here's the thing: again, I won't go into specifics, but someone I met online and I have been talking about meeting up at some point. I originally really liked the idea, but the more I think about it, the more I worry that whatever weird funk I have hanging over my head will overshadow any and all of my positive qualities. I'd hate to lose a friendship, but I feel like that's what is likely to happen if we meet. To meet me in person is essentially to see the worst side of me. Or one of the worst sides, anyway.
The bottom line is, I'm freer online to express myself, to show my best side. In real life, that side can be hard to see, especially when I'm still struggling with this whole depression thing. It's not really something I want to accept, even if it inevitably a part of me that will never go away completely. I don't really know what else to say about this, except that, if anyone is reading this, I hope you can recognize there is more to me than what I appear to be in person. A lot more. I think if we got to know each other well you'd see the better side of me more often, but that takes time, and somehow I don't think everyone wants to wait that long.
Whatever. I'm rambling now, so I'll sign off for tonight. One last unrelated thing I'll mention: ITPI is having a pre-Halloween party thing on Oct. 24th, so if you're in Utica, come join us in the Adirondack Lounge around 8pm. People who spend any time on campus before then will probably see some posters soon. I actually put a little effort into this one, so I'm going to try to get as many printed as I can manage. There'll be scary movies and candy. I'm getting a ouiji board, because hell, why not? It should be a good time.
I guess that's it. I'll post again whenever the mood strikes me. In the meantime, peace and love, y'all.
Anyway, I'm in an odd mood right now, so I thought I'd share. I'm realizing lately that, when communicating with people through means other than face-to-face conversation, I'm actually pretty fun to talk to. This is really no big surprise. I mean, even years ago I remember Jordan saying how I sound so much different on my blog than in person. (Incidentally, I wonder if he's still reading this...) I guess it just struck me recently how true this is for digital media in general.
I'm not going to go into specifics, but through no serious effort of my own, I seem to have become well liked by a handful of people I've never actually met. Which is cool in its own way, but I'm starting to wonder if maybe it should stay that way. Our having never met, I mean. I have this sinking feeling that if I were to meet any of these people in person, I would find a way to undo any positive image they had of me. It's funny, that by being myself online I am easily likable, but in real life I just don't have that capacity. I don't know why. I'd blame the depression, but that seems too easy. (I of course type this as I'm popping my second Prozac for the day)
So, here's the thing: again, I won't go into specifics, but someone I met online and I have been talking about meeting up at some point. I originally really liked the idea, but the more I think about it, the more I worry that whatever weird funk I have hanging over my head will overshadow any and all of my positive qualities. I'd hate to lose a friendship, but I feel like that's what is likely to happen if we meet. To meet me in person is essentially to see the worst side of me. Or one of the worst sides, anyway.
The bottom line is, I'm freer online to express myself, to show my best side. In real life, that side can be hard to see, especially when I'm still struggling with this whole depression thing. It's not really something I want to accept, even if it inevitably a part of me that will never go away completely. I don't really know what else to say about this, except that, if anyone is reading this, I hope you can recognize there is more to me than what I appear to be in person. A lot more. I think if we got to know each other well you'd see the better side of me more often, but that takes time, and somehow I don't think everyone wants to wait that long.
Whatever. I'm rambling now, so I'll sign off for tonight. One last unrelated thing I'll mention: ITPI is having a pre-Halloween party thing on Oct. 24th, so if you're in Utica, come join us in the Adirondack Lounge around 8pm. People who spend any time on campus before then will probably see some posters soon. I actually put a little effort into this one, so I'm going to try to get as many printed as I can manage. There'll be scary movies and candy. I'm getting a ouiji board, because hell, why not? It should be a good time.
I guess that's it. I'll post again whenever the mood strikes me. In the meantime, peace and love, y'all.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Re: Social updates
It's probably worth noting that, while I rarely update this blog anymore, my Twitter is fairly current. I'm not one of those people who updates 8 times a day, don't worry. I just throw out little tweets about things when the mood strikes me. So anyway, if anyone really wants to know what I'm currently up to, you can follow @danmayerisgod. Likewise, I'm on Facebook a lot (damn you Backyard Monsters and your addictiveness). Feel free to add me.
Oh, and I went to a Nickelback/Buckcherry/3 Days Grace concert on Wednesday night. While it was a lot of fun, I don't recommend going to concerts in the middle of the week, particularly if you have shit to do the next day. It doesn't end well.
So, yeah, that's all I wanted to say. Peace and love, you crazy kids.
Oh, and I went to a Nickelback/Buckcherry/3 Days Grace concert on Wednesday night. While it was a lot of fun, I don't recommend going to concerts in the middle of the week, particularly if you have shit to do the next day. It doesn't end well.
So, yeah, that's all I wanted to say. Peace and love, you crazy kids.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Re: Replies
Haven't gotten many. Maybe it relates to the lack of posts. Anyway, a few things to talk about. First, my birthday's coming up. Don't bother getting me anything. I'm not wild about the idea of commemorating something as inconsequential as my birth.
I'm going back to SUNYIT on Saturday. At that point, the IT Paranormal Investigators will be restarting, and hopefully I'll get a jump on a good visit this time. If not, we still have the option of having a seance and/or hitting each other with nerf weapons. The two are not related.
If you hadn't heard, I am working on my webcomic. I'm just really lazy and unmotivated, so it's not coming along quickly. Not to jinx myself, but I think I'll be ready to launch the site by Christmas. That includes having a backlog of pages, though.
Other than that, I still seem to be perfecting the art of being antisocial on social networking sites. Between Facebook, IMVU and TinierMe, I'm not sure how many friends I have that I never talk to. I wonder what will happen when I have to interact with people face-to-face again. I mean, the Meals on Wheels job gave me some experience with idle conversation, but I still have no idea what to say to girls that I'm attracted to. Could I be any more of a perpetual dork? I swear, it's amazing how many insecurities and pubescent hang-ups I still have with me. And it's weird, because for all my crippling flaws, I still not-so-secretly think I'm the coolest human being that ever lived. You don't get that much contradiction from a Scotch-Korean. Go figure.
I'm also starting to use twitter again, but my sole reason for doing so is trying to get on the Tosh.0 blog and/or the tv show. It's not even like I myself would be featured; we're talking about something I said on the Internet reappearing elsewhere on the Internet. It shouldn't be a big deal. And yet, I love Tosh.0, I think Daniel Tosh and his writers are geniuses, and I daydream about having my own web redemption, which is weird since I've never really had an epic Internet failure. All my videos are crap, and they never get watched. Nobody reads this tripe I'm spewing on my blog. Why else do you think I stopped posting here? Did you think I'd gotten a life? Like hell.
Anyway, I'm just rambling now, so I guess I'll sign off. Just one last thing: I might be doing some stand-up at an open mic night this Friday. It's at the Rolling Stone pub in Burnt Hills, so on the off chance anyone I know from the area is reading this, come see me sometime around 8ish on Friday night. Maybe we can catch up and I can pretend to remember who you are. It might be fun.
Alright, that's enough of that. Peace and love, you crazy kids.
I'm going back to SUNYIT on Saturday. At that point, the IT Paranormal Investigators will be restarting, and hopefully I'll get a jump on a good visit this time. If not, we still have the option of having a seance and/or hitting each other with nerf weapons. The two are not related.
If you hadn't heard, I am working on my webcomic. I'm just really lazy and unmotivated, so it's not coming along quickly. Not to jinx myself, but I think I'll be ready to launch the site by Christmas. That includes having a backlog of pages, though.
Other than that, I still seem to be perfecting the art of being antisocial on social networking sites. Between Facebook, IMVU and TinierMe, I'm not sure how many friends I have that I never talk to. I wonder what will happen when I have to interact with people face-to-face again. I mean, the Meals on Wheels job gave me some experience with idle conversation, but I still have no idea what to say to girls that I'm attracted to. Could I be any more of a perpetual dork? I swear, it's amazing how many insecurities and pubescent hang-ups I still have with me. And it's weird, because for all my crippling flaws, I still not-so-secretly think I'm the coolest human being that ever lived. You don't get that much contradiction from a Scotch-Korean. Go figure.
I'm also starting to use twitter again, but my sole reason for doing so is trying to get on the Tosh.0 blog and/or the tv show. It's not even like I myself would be featured; we're talking about something I said on the Internet reappearing elsewhere on the Internet. It shouldn't be a big deal. And yet, I love Tosh.0, I think Daniel Tosh and his writers are geniuses, and I daydream about having my own web redemption, which is weird since I've never really had an epic Internet failure. All my videos are crap, and they never get watched. Nobody reads this tripe I'm spewing on my blog. Why else do you think I stopped posting here? Did you think I'd gotten a life? Like hell.
Anyway, I'm just rambling now, so I guess I'll sign off. Just one last thing: I might be doing some stand-up at an open mic night this Friday. It's at the Rolling Stone pub in Burnt Hills, so on the off chance anyone I know from the area is reading this, come see me sometime around 8ish on Friday night. Maybe we can catch up and I can pretend to remember who you are. It might be fun.
Alright, that's enough of that. Peace and love, you crazy kids.
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